To tell my manager I’m unhappy?

[onelasttryy]

I’m booking in a catch up tomorrow to say how unhappy I am. That I don’t want to come to her with problems and no solutions but I’m unsure how to resolve this.

It’s actually affecting my mental health so badly now. It’s nothing to do with colleagues, bullying etc, it’s being so bored I cry, that she had admitted that I just get the boring parts of the job to do and my colleague doesn’t and has had a lot invested and developed in her.

Why not, you have nothing to loose but also I’d start looking for another job tbh

hat she had admitted that I just get the boring parts of the job to do and my colleague doesn’t and has had a lot invested and developed in her.

bizarre

what was your response when she “admitted” this?

Well it wasn’t in a private meeting so professionally I thought it was best to discuss it at a different point, which hasn’t happened yet.

Can you go with a development plan of what you want? That way it’s more proactive and if they can’t support that you have your answer. I have the opposite I don’t want development as I’m exhausted by caring responsibilities outside work I just need to cruise at the moment and have to justify that ironically!

so… discuss that 😕

Why are you being so passive aggressive?

She’s put the other person on the development plan to get her promoted in six months. I asked and got a “oh well do your objectives in the team meeting” vague answer

because

your manager admitted that you have been getting all the boring work

rather than ask for a meeting to discuss that, you’re asking mumsnet if ok to go to her crying about how bored you are

be professional. she has admitted something that you would like to discuss further

the fact you jump to an accusation of me being “passive aggressive” is telling

"I have mastered all of the current aspects of my job and I am looking for a great challenge. I would like to be put on a development plan to help me further my career etc"

Leave your colleagues name of out if.

If she says no, then ask what you need to do in order to advance etc.

Where did I say I was going crying to her?

I am asking for a meeting to discuss this.

What’s telling is how you interact with a stranger who’s asked nothing of you, has simply reached out for help at a low point in their life.

You even admitted yourself to being passive aggressive.

it’s being so bored I cry,

I extrapolate that if you cried out of boredom, you may cry when discussing how bored you are.

But perhaps not

how utterly bizarre

i think you rather interpreted my post. I didn’t “admit” to being passive aggressive

i will leave you to it op

Why haven't you been more proactive before. Get it all documented. Get it recorded that she said you get all the boring bits. Get it documented what tasks you do want. Be more ruthless. Play the game.

I don’t think this is a good idea. It’ll be used against you at some time or other. Best to just start looking for a new job in the meantime, and be intentional about it.

There have been some other comments with suggestions about going in from an angle of a development focus only, I would suggest doing that if you do go ahead with the meeting, but leave the emotions and the other things you mentioned out of it. It won’t go in your favour.

You're being unnecessarily horrible.

Have you other responsibilities in mind OP that you could take on and do well/learn to do well?

Often if someone's getting prioritised for development it's because they're seen as an asset. Can you raise in your meeting where you think you're not being used to your full potential and could add much more value?

If your manager really said you've been given all the boring work, they're not very bright or professional by the way. Def make a note of the date and exact conversation and context.

i said “why are you because passive aggressive”

you answered “because …”

But yes bizarre (your favourite wordI I interpreted as you admitting to be passive aggressive.

I’m sure you won’t leave me to it (wish you would) but people like you can’t help but kick people when they’re down.

Because she only said it last week, the day after she was in an all day meeting and not accessing her emails. And then I’ve had annual leave. It’s just been an unfortunate case of timing. Which is why I intend to speak on it tomorrow which is the first opportunity I’ve had.

I think now is the time to bring it up. How long have you been there?

I would go with some ideas about how you could be developed (shadowing, extra responsibilities etc) and time frames. And make sure it is documented. Are there any extra qualifications you could work towards etc?

That sounds tough OP.

How long have you worked there?

What is keeping you in a job that you have become so unhappy in?

If you are so bored you could cry, it is affecting your mental health and you are watching your manager giving development opportunities to someone else and not to you, I think I would be starting to ask some questions of myself, as well as my manager, I think?

Someone I know well managed a long term employee who should have moved on from their job - but didn’t. They were bored of their role (which they were not doing a great job of) - and they were highly resistant to changing their ways of working. They wanted more opportunity and responsibility, but this would not have been good for the organisation.

Can you think of any reasons (even if you disagree with them) why your manager is not giving you the opportunities you are hoping for?

Do you get on well with other members of your team? Are you consistently doing a really good job at work?

It seems important to have this conversation with your manager at this point, so at least you can be sure they know how you feel and what you think - and see if there is a way forward where your hopes and the needs of the organisation align.

Realistically, if (for whatever reasons good or bad) they don’t see you as a good candidate for development / promotion within your organisation, you’d probably be better off starting to look for another opportunity elsewhere.

Being bored and miserable at work is tough on you - but possibly also quite tough on the team and organisation you work for.

A new role and a new manager may be just what you need to thrive - and might also give your current organisation the opportunity to have someone in their team who would be happier in the role.

I can relate a bit as I'm bored to tears in my role as there's no work for me to do. Any offered to support other team members politely declined. There was a time I'd have done what you're doing and raised it with my manager but now I've learned and realised it doesn't get you anywhere long term - best to keep smiling outwardly whilst job hunting with a vengeance.

what a drama llama you are op

i said be professional and address what she said

you plan to

so nothing unreasonable to request a meeting with your manager

“I’ll leave you to it op”

I stated the obvious they would come crawling back to this thread, frothing at the mouth with excitement.

And here we are 😁. People as miserable as you are very predictable. But you won’t get any more of my attention you’re desperately seeking and you are now invisible to me (and I actually mean what I say and don’t do the whole dramatic “I’ll leave you to it” and then embarrassingly come back)

It’s awful isn’t it. I almost get a headache I’m so bored. And I just think I don’t want to spend my life feeling this shit for the majority of my week.

I’ve worked there for a year and 4 months.

Ultimately if my colleague is an asset and is being developed then genuinely good for her. I just don’t want to be the helping hand that does the shit work that needs doing and this enables her to do the big glossy projects. I just want the work to be split fairly - but if they don’t think I’m capable of doing bigger projects then I need to know so I can go somewhere that does want to give me that opportunity.

There are no other members of the team.