If you don’t want to observe two minute silence- don’t be out

[Mokel]

Every Remembrance Sunday and Nov 11th, when I worked at retail, we did a tannoy announcement with 5 min, 2 min before to inform customers that the store will be observing the 2 min silence. Then another to start it.

Every time there were customers who kept talking. Plus one time a woman in her 50s shouted “why can’t anyone serve me some fucking fags?” Everyone just looked at her. Some had the courage to say how disrespectful she was once the silence ended.

If you are unable or refuse to observe the silence at 11am today or tomorrow, please don’t be in a public place.

No, I can't.
They're confusing dislike of government policy with service and willingness.

I agree with this.

Well that's interrupting someone else's observance and rude.

But chatting amongst yourselves whilst out and about. Or simply forgetting. It's the if you're not doing it stay home bit I objected to. I think that's too far.

It’s not a celebration. Quite the reverse.

Right, well that's your issue.

Yes I find it odd that shops observe a 2min silence. If attending an event of course but not in businesses etc. What next, buses pulling over for 2mins? Work places should continue to function.

Once you start having two minutes' silence twice, it does feel like it is becoming performative.

Absolutely, 4 minutes out of 525600 a year is the very definition of performative. Fuck me.

I'd imagine since covid there is a whole bunch of people just waiting to point out how people are doing living their lives wrong.

If remeberance was so important to her (which is absolutely fine obviously), why on earth was she in a queue at a checkout at 11. Stand to the side at 10:58 and then rejoin. Standing silent mid transaction in a store where the staff aren't observing it is performative.

Yeah, thanks.
I'm staying in, there is some work in progress on the house 😁

Everyone should be still and quiet if the shop was observing it.

I certainly do not and will not observe a silence or wear a poppy to remember those who came to my country and killed innocent people (bloody Sunday to name one). I say this as someone whose grandfather served in the navy, great uncles in British army (mostly through necessity as they were 2nd class citizens in their own country with no other options). I feel immensely sorry for those young men who were forced to go to war by their country and no shits given by their government over how many lives were lost or how young they were. But I will not be funding a organisation that supports men who opened fire in my country on innocent people, including shooting my cousin in the back, killing him at 12 years of age,. Although the British courts found the solider guilty of manslaughter he was let out on technicalities of the court processss and returned to his position in the army!! The liberties taken by many of those so called soldiers were disgusting which I witnessed as a child and teen.

Maybe educate yourself outside of your state education and the many other wars that your army has been fighting in and you might have more understanding why others may not support this.

I'm going round to a friend's for coffee, just about to leave. We'll be in full yak by 11. Just have to leave early to avoid the disapproving looks from our village church goers.

I am actually shocked that nearly half of Mumsnetters seem to consider it acceptable to not observe the 2 minutes silence if they are out and about

thats not the case

the OP is asking if she is unreasonable to say that anyone who doesn’t observe the 2 minutes silence should stay at home….I voted she was being unreasonable for that

Are you hard of reading? Can I ask exactly what contribution you make to veteran and serviceperson welfare? Is it just the being quiet for 2 minutes? I don’t care about 2 minutes’ silence but it does nothing of any material benefit for my serving family members, or to honour the sacrifices of my grandparents in any real way. I honour them by real action. I volunteer for the blind veterans, I fundraise for help for heroes, I’ve volunteered for the RBL’s poppy campaign in the past because it actually makes a difference. I don’t think standing in the supermarket for 2 minutes makes a jot of difference, beyond allowing people who do fuck all else to feel smug and sanctimonious.

The point isn't that you need to be in a perfectly silent environment for 2 minutes though. It's supposed to be each person taking time out of their day for they themselves to reflect, remember and give thanks. It doesn't matter what everyone else is doing.

Well said vivian

I'm a village church goer and wouldn't disapprove of you chatting to your friend. Not convinced that Christ would be massively disappointed in you either.

I stay silent to remember my grandfather and his peers who volunteered to go through unimaginable horrors so that we are free to choose. If he and others like him hadn’t done that we would very likely still be living under a dictatorship where you would have very little choice in most aspects of your life. Personally I think joining with others to reflect for two minutes is the very least I can do.

My Grandparents served in WWII, like many thousands of others, they were rewarded for their sacrifice with the welfare state, the NHS and free education for life. 2mins silence and some poppies just doesn't stack up compared to what's been systematically dismantled.

They all lost brothers in WWII, their parents all lost brothers in WWI. If you want to respect their sacrifice I think honouring their wishes for a fairer world would be a fitting tribute.

That doesn't mean you have to be a dick about it though.

People who want to observe the silence can do so. People who don't can go respectfully about their business using their indoor/library/funeral voices for two minutes so as not to be too much of a distraction. Do adults really need to debate and negotiate and be given a steer on how to navigate something so straightforward?

My Dad was in Sainsbury’s last year. He asked a woman where the such and such was. She scowled at him and then said Shhhhh!!! and put her finger to her lips. He was momentarily confused then it dawned on him it was the 2 min silence for Remembrance Sunday. He felt truly awful and was kicking himself.

But he’s 82 and deaf. He didn’t hear the tannoy announcement.

If you want to ensure a 2 minute silence then stay at home or make the effort to go to a church or organized parade/service.
Society is made up of cultures now that were on different sides in wars & there are many people who are still suffering from actions of British army (eg in northern Ireland) and have lost relatives as a result of actions of the British army. There were great sacrifices made by soldiers in the 2 world wars that have given us great freedom but that does not make the British army since then the squeaky clean heroes remembrance season tries to portray

I think the woman shouting about fags was being an idiot & I think it's appalling to deliberately disrupt or protest at a remembrance day service/parade etc but people should not be forced to wear a poppy or hide themselves away because they choose to avoid it.

If you've got shopping to do etc then you are free to continue to do that but be respectful that the staff may not be able to serve you or speak during the silence. Don't deliberately disrupt or be noisy but you don't have to stand to attention in silence in a shop/on a bus/in a hospital etc

I would genuinely be interested to know if psychological studies have ever been done in if people actually do think / reflect more deeply on something on an organised 2 minutes of everyone being silent than they do in other situations/ ways of remembering. Not being argumentative, genuinely interested.

Because I don't feel like I do. I think as soon as it's a set thing, no matter how much I actually care about the subject and want to reflect, (eg a loved ones funeral etc) then thoughts in my head will include 'make sure you don't make a noise, don't cough now, are my kids being quiet, how long has it been now, do I look suitably serious etc, alongside all the reflection. I probably think more deeply in the shower or out for a walk or something! Might just be me though.

The act of remembrance is to be respectful to the people who gave their lives so that we have freedom and choice. We cannot force people to be silent but it is fair to expect them to respect your want to observe the silence.
So as long as what they are doing/ want does not impact on someone's choice to remember then that is what people died for in the first place- freedom and choice- the cigarette person is just a cf who is rude.....