To accept weaker orgasms

[Lennon80]

Hi I am 45 and have always had a decent libido and good orgasms. I suspect I’m in the perimenopause and the last year my orgasms are just so weak. Is this something I have to accept as part of aging? I’ve tried pelvic floor and used a Kelgel machine for a year (improved bladder function but hasn’t increased them). It’s making sex not worth the effort. Is this normal and something I just have to accept?

Thanks so much ladies for this advice - I just feel like I’ve turned into an elderly woman almost overnight - I will look into and try everything being suggested!

Yes. 😆

OK, I'll shut up now lol

Well get you 🙄

I’ve had breast cancer…..my team are happy for me to use blissel gel…..it’s lower dose vaginal estrogen …..your gp can prescribe

Sorry! I obviously have a better relationship with my partner than you do or you wouldn't be so snarky!

I've had womb cancer and am able to have Vagifem pessaries. I might look into Ovestin though too.

I reckon you are just used to crap sex with no orgasms

Sertraline made it almost impossible for me.

I orgasm regularly (sorry) but sometimes I can't because I take medication that gets in the way and I still really enjoy it. Didn't realise that was weird!

That’s encouraging about vit B12 I’m a year post breast cancer and early menopause being induced. Worry that’s it for sex and I’m not even 40 😭@VWT5

I love my husband with my whole heart and we have always had a good sex life but there are lots of ways for me to feel close to him and a large part of the reason for sex is the orgasms. Otherwise I could feel close to him by falling asleep in his arms.

My perimenopausal orgasms definitely felt like the volume had been dialled down and then I started in testosterone gel and they’re now back to normal.

Mine dimmed a bit but came back. I’m 2 years post meno. I use Ovestin.

This stuff Orgasmic gel is good, it might help along with some of the other suggestions.

I'm on HRT
The vaginal pessaries and testosterone has given me my orgasms back and I am super happy with this!!!!!
It's been a game changer
Also on sertraline

I had exactly the same issue (thanks peri). I started taking menopause complex by Hey Nutrition and my libido came back and so did the knee trembling orgasms. It’s the main reason I carry on taking it as don’t really have many other peri symptoms.

I think sertraline can do this.

I haven't noticed a decline but I am on HRT!

What's the other reason meant to be?

Surely sex is to experience orgasms and pleasure.

No man would bother if they didn't orgasm, so why should women?

Ovarian cancer isn't hormone fed, so HRT isn't an issue per se. Also, topical oestrogen isn't always considered as standard HRT and not routinely offered. But it should be, it's miraculous stuff. (Indeed, my orgasm are stronger since taking it).

As ovarian cancer isn't fed by hormones, and I know this because I've recently had this conversation with a gynaecologist at The Royal London in advance of having my ovaries and fallopian tubes taken out. I had hormone fed breast cancer and a double mastectomy. Due to BCRA mutations and family history, I am at a huge risk of ovarian cancer. While I'm not allowed HRT, with the blessing of both my oncologist and gynae, I use vaginal oestrogen in the form of a pessary. (In fact, I forgot to mention I was using it and the gynae recommended it to me). It's an incredibly low dose, does not enter the bloodstream and is safe. Just ask your MDT or cancer nurse about it. I use Vagifem because it's the easiest to use.

Talk to your team. There's really no reason why you cannot use it.

You might want to look into testosterone as well. Superdrug do it if you can't get GP to prescribe (you'll need to get your levels tested first though).
Menopause makes our testosterone drop as well as our oestrogen.

Can someone who isn't peri yet use the vaginal pessaries does anyone know?

I’m post menopause and had a hysterectomy when I was 35, tried HRT patches and didn’t get on with them due to itching skin, sore boobs and feelings of anxiety
My orgasms whilst still pleasant don’t feel as deep - any idea whether a cream would help?

@InsiderBetty I don't think there's any reason why not. Talk to your GP or else a pharmacist - Vagifem is available over the counter as Gina. For me, it's been a magic bullet that I wish I'd have had access to years ago.

Could you go see a gynaecologist, you may need to pay. I’d imagine an nhs gp will just fob you off like they do with most things. Other things to consider.. sex toys, sensation enhancing gels, less masturbation/ less sex and see if that helps with intensity when you do have an orgasm.