To think some people exaggerate how tired they are as parents?

[ThatMellowGreenFatball]

Yes, raising kids is hard, but sometimes it seems like people milk the ‘tired parent’ angle for sympathy. AIBU to think they overstate it?

Clearly it’s impossible for anyone to know whether the parents you know are exaggerating their tiredness or not. Not sure why anyone would bother though.

People certainly would bother exaggerating. It's like the suffering Olympics here and in many workplaces these days.

I dunno OP. How did you feel when you had 4 to 5 hours of broken sleep, 2 hours cycles tops, 7 night a week for a period of 3 years?

No it's not the same as being exhausted cos you had to get up at 4.45 for an early flight 4 days ago.

Imagine you work 60 hours a week plus as a doctor and then throw in 3-4 wake ups every night, sometimes taking an hour to go back to sleep. I have been so tired I don’t feel like I can stand. I have done night shifts for years, 24 hour shifts you name it.

working while having a young child?? I have never felt so bone shatteringly exhausted in my life

I had seven years of being tired to the point of nausea every day, so I generally assume that when parents say they are exhausted that they are telling the truth.

Good luck getting any normal parent to agree with this...

You clearly don't have kids. 3 out of 5 nights this week my ds has been up most the night! Monday he was up for the day at 2.30am he had school and I had work. Thursday he was up 2 til 6 again work and school. Friday he was up 2.30 til 5.30 work and school. Safe to say.... IM TIRED

I assume you don’t have kids?

I think it’s the opposite. Most parents don’t actually let on how exhausted they are and how much they are juggling.

I nearly lost my mind the first year but underplayed it I think ' yeah, I'm a bit tired' when really I felt quite ill with lack of sleep.

Small kids drain us with broken nights, constant chatter, constant worry, constant vigilance etc.

Nailed it! This is exactly right.

I have to agree. I don't think many people know the definition of true exhaustion, I feel that word is overused for sure! I have a toddler too... Maybe I'm just lucky and have an easy going kid? Or higher than normal energy levels?! But I rarely feel tired and I feel I can never say that out loud :)

I had a very full on job before kids and was definitely tired. But I also had the luxury of being able to catch-up on sleep, prioritise my well-being and rest enough to balance it out.

with one child that didn’t sleep properly until he was 4, I was very very tired. But even then, I could tag-team with my partner and try to get little pockets of rest.

With 2 children and a job, I was very very very tired! I’m also now older and no doubt that adds to how I feel! Time to rest is cut down massively with two.

so yes. Parents do talk about being tired. Because they are. If you know someone with small children then try to support them in some way!

I don't think anybody has any issues with parents saying they are understandably tired.
It's only an issue if they claim somebody without kids could never be as tired as them! People can be sleep deprived for all sorts of reasons and having a kid doesn't automatically trump every other reason.

I work full time, usually around 50 hours a week and have 2 DC who between them woke me every hour for 8 years. I was bloody tired. It's only been 6 months since they've both slept through and I'm still recovering.

I'm so tired most of the time I could cry. I feel like I am living in an episode of Challenge Anneka that never ends. I am absolutely not exaggerating, sadly.

I am utterly exhausted with a baby and toddler 20 months apart. It's the relentlessness of it. Pre children, when I worked 13 hour hospital shifts they were gruelling - but I came home and slept a solid 9 hours, got up and went to work again. Then I had 24 hours off. That seems blissful in comparison to now. Night after night my baby wakes, leading straight into days of chores, work, cleaning, errands, wiping faces and bottoms, packing bags, dealing with emotions. It's not just the physical lack of sleep, it's the constant being on call for absolutely everything. Mentally and physically exhausting.
When I was pregnant with second there were times when you could have told me I'd get £100000 if I got up and picked the notes off the street outside, and I'd not have moved a muscle. But toddler hurt himself and cried, or climbed somewhere unsafe and needed getting down, and I got up, every time, though everything hurt and I could barely keep my eyes open.
My childless colleague was moaning about new rota meaning work day is shifted 2 hours later making her tired recently and I could barely hold from saying you don't know the meaning of tired.

💯

My first was ridiculously easy as a baby so i’d not really get it when people spoke about the exhaustion. Now I have 2 under 2, a challenging toddler and a very high needs baby, I would say I am genuinely exhausted most of the time. They all have such different temperaments it’s silly to compare with other parents. I’d of course not compare tiredness levels with child free people either as they will have other stresses too.

I used to get one or maybe 2 hours a night for about a year, whilst working full time. I was beyond exhausted. I was on four hours for about 3 years and then it gradually increased as they aged. I honestly can't even express how tired I was for years, I would wish to be hit by a car some days as I would get a rest in hospital. Absolutely soul destroying.

I'm sure all sorts of people exaggerate various parts of their lives.

But tiredness is completely subjective. And is affected by things you can't judge from the outside. So I don't see any way you can look and someone and know they aren't as tired as they're saying. It's pointless.

And the award for the goadiest thread goes to 🙄🙄🙄 maybe focus on yourself instead of questioning other people's tiredness.. It's a bit odd you're suspicious of parents lying about being tired tbh. I'd love to not feel tired but unfortunately I'm wading through mud most days or that's how it feels. I never stop, single parent full time job and young child so yeah I am knackered thanks.

My baby did not sleep more than one hour until she was 3 due to a serious disease. I regularly hallucinated from tiredness as also worked full time and had a long commute.

Horrendous isn't it. I once felt a pain and briefly found myself thrilled thinking it might be appendicitis and I could go to hospital for a few days lie down.

Is this another parent Vs non parent stirring thread?

Anyway, my youngest is 4 and I'm only starting to move past the crushing tiredness in the past few months.

Still wrecked because there's no downtime (work FT, two small DC) but at least I'm getting sleep.

So many times have I thought this. So many times.