Son 6 with SEN escaped specialist school

[Mojo161989]

Really looking for some advice here on what to do about this awful situation and if it's unreasonable to escalate this incident.

My son is 6 years old and is autistic, he has significant needs, is non verbal, has no danger awareness, is a climber, runner, and needs supervision around the clock. He attends a specialist school setting and on Tuesday I got the most horrific phonecall, when I answered I asked if everything was okay as I always do as I have high anxiety around my son injuring himself/becoming poorly at school, and when the reply I got was "no, no it's not okay, I need you to remain calm" I couldn't even listen to what was wrong my heart sank and I passed the phone to my partner to hear as i was in a state of panic and froze, they told him our 6 year old had managed to escape the school playground which has a very high fencing area all the way around it by climbing up a tree, he was out of the school grounds and off into the streets. He has zero awareness of danger and just bolts off, and cannot communicate at all, so my head was in such a mess waiting for them to get back to me as they said to try and remain calm and wait and that they had contacted the police and are all out looking for him. I was thinking the worst if he were to get to a main road he would be straight out in front of the traffic as he needs to be restrained at all times with an adult. Luckily a member of the public saw him and they called me back and told me he was safe.

I just don't know what to do about this situation, he is in a specialist school with high security, he is meant to have a 1 to 1 outside at all times as stated in his EHCP plan. I just cannot understand how this has happened, how in a small playground with a small number of children he has managed to climb a tree and over a very high fence and end up outside of the school grounds. I am just so thankful he is alive more than anything, but my trust in the school has been sullied. When the head spoke to me after the incident she said he had a camouflage kind of coat on so he would have been hard to notice, but he is meant to be being watched at all times. I'm so upset, angry, anxious, there are no other alternative schools he can attend, I fought so hard to get him into this one.

I have a meeting on Tuesday with the school as I have asked to see the incident report, the CCTV footage of this incident to get some clarity. They have arranged a tree surgeon to cut the tree down that he managed to climb and said he will be wearing a high vis at all times outside and will be being watched 1 to 1 which he should be anyway.

So I guess what I'm asking here is aibu to want more than this, I am absolutely heartbroken, anything could have happened to my amazing little boy. I'm just a nervous wreck right now. The ironic thing is I called his teacher around half an hour before this incident as I've been struggling at home with his escaping the doors so have had to put bolts across every door and wanted to see if there was any more support I could get at home. I'm just beside myself right now and could really use some advice.

Wow that does sound worrying

The main thing is that he is safe

When the head spoke to me after the incident she said he had a camouflage kind of coat on so he would have been hard to notice,

^

This is rubbish. They should have watched him more closely

What more do you think they could be doing to prevent it happening again? If you do think there is something then tell them so that it can be included in the risk assessment.

It’s understandable that you feel panicky but he’s okay and the school intend to put in place everything possible to prevent a recurrence. Yes, it shouldn’t have happened but the school have acknowledged this. They will be super vigilant from now on. You’re equally challenged by this escapism to be fair.

Yes I think it's just the fright, they are doing all they can in terms of rectifying the danger, I think I just need the closure of seeing what happened, and where his 1 to 1 was at the time, and also seeing that they have taken the danger away. Thank you for your responses.

Watching the footage and asking where his 1:1 was at the time will anger and further upset you. Is that wise?
You’ve been reassured and told of their plans.
Try to put it behind you OP for your own good.

I would absolutely take this further. I'm speaking as a mum who's non verbal 4yo attends a specialist school. Trying to blame you for his choice in coat too? How has he had time to climb a tree and fence unnoticed??? Not good enough. I'd be furious at this, such neglect on the schools behalf

I was the SEN school governor for a number of years. Our school had a mainstream part but also has a separate self-contained special school on the grounds.

Both my DC have SEN, and one was in the special school and he was supposed to have a 1:1 the whole time too.

My DS isn’t generally a runner but a) he crams things in his mouth and b) if he’s hurt, he will hide and/or run. He doesn’t let anyone inspect his injuries.

We had various incidents at school and quite often they arose because the 1:1 had missed something. From what I understand they often try to step back to allow the child to create their own friendships or play without someone hovering over them all the time.

So the 1:1 may have turned away briefly and if they weren’t close to your DS, that may have been the opportunity he needed to escape.

But also, I also found that 1:1s were often used as a classroom resource or other children were tagged onto them. So at playtimes, the 1:1 would be helping to supervise a whole group of children which meant they were less focused on their 1:1 child.

I’m speaking from my experience as a parent but also as the SEN governor.

I remember being on an exclusion panel once for one of the boys at the special school. He escaped from the school grounds. Twice. He was a regular Houdini. His mum wasn’t fazed when it happened - she said “oh, he’ll be making his way home - it’s what he always does!” We had tall locked gates and high fences but like your DS, he got over them. He was a fast, athletic climber.

We had to concede that we could not keep the child safe. Even in a special school, there will always be moments when a teacher turns their back. This boy was so determined to escape we felt we couldn’t guarantee that he wouldn’t do it again - and yes, we cut a tree down too!! We actually helped find a different type of placement for him - we worked with the LA and found a forest type special school which he was much happier at.

I would be asking:

Is the 1:1 responsible for any other children as well as your son?
is the 1:1 responsible for any other general playground duties?
why wasn’t the 1:1 watching him during break time?
how long did it take for them to notice he was missing?
how will the school guarantee he doesn’t escape again?
does the school feel they can keep him safe?
have they carried out a risk assessment?

You must have been an absolute wreck getting a phone call like that! You poor thing.

Have you thought about sewing a tracker or something into his coat lining? Just so you can find him quickly if the worst does happen?

Do you think the school environment is safe? Our LA has had to pay for some SEN kids to attend an out of county school because we didn’t have a suitable one within our county.

Do you know why he runs? Is he avoiding something eg/sounds, smells etc? Is he getting enough sensory input? Weighted jackets sometimes provide good sensory feedback and can help children feel calmer.

My DS is 14 now and it’s easier in many ways. But I remember how hard it was at age 6, those were brutal days. Sending hugs.

1:1s do sometimes need the loo!

Does not mean you leave the child
unattended and hope for the best.

OP I’m sorry for what happened. That must have been truly terrifying for you. I would definitely take it further to ensure it doesn’t happen to any other child as well as to yours.

I would be concerned and definitely see the CCTV footage and question where the 1:1 was - he can't climb a tree that quickly so they can't have had eyes on him or they were too far away to intervene.

I suspect the 1-1 isn’t with him all the time and that’s the problem. My friends DD who is autistic and non verbal is in main stream and when she joined they said they had to borrow 1-1 staff from other children as they couldn’t keep the roles filled. They admitted during an EHCP appeal type hearing that i attended with her that few people applied for the roles and have to use agency and share the 1-1 around. Its not good enough but I guess the school try their best with limited resource. Sounds like they are mitigating the risk of reoccurrence but I’d ask them how often your son doesn’t have his 1-1 with him. Its a rubbish excuse but a brighter coat might be sensible for next year’s coat purchase.

I know it's horrible, but they sound like they are literally trying their best. They/you never expected your son to climb a tree and escape. It wasn't a danger they had forseen. Sounds like they have learnt from it, and are reacting to making it safer for all. As hard as it is, I would say its a serious failing but be glad they have put something in place.

I work as a 1:1 but in a mainstream setting and absolutely I do have to sometimes turn my back on my 1:1 child if, for example, another child approaches me screaming and blood
pouring from a nasty cut. I don’t know what the ratios are like in your son’s setting so not sure if this would be applicable. I certainly don’t go to the loo while supervising my 1:1 child

I’m astonished he wasn’t already in hi vis - all the kids requiring 1:1 at my school wear them as a matter of course

But I agree this was unforeseen and it sounds like they’re trying their best to take steps to prevent anything similar in future.

Also everyone saying he couldn’t have climbed the tree that fast - some kids are incredible climbers and could absolutely scale a tree in the time it takes to scan a (busy?) playground and be looking in the usual areas. But I suspect they might be understaffed like most settings…

We had this with our DD whilst she was still at mainstream, you have my sympathies.
Sounds like their risk assessment wasn't up to scratch (and it's unlikely they'll be trained/qualified in risk management).
I'd go and speak to them, and ask to see their RA and plan in detail to prevent future occurrences, which will hopefully re-assure you, and you will be able to look at the grounds yourself and possibly make some suggestions. I'm also assuming that they would have to make a formal report of the incident to the Council at least, so maybe ask to see that too.

You must have been terrified, I am so sorry. I would give them a second chance though, if your DS is otherwise settled and happy there.

Oh how terrifying for you op, and I'm sure the staff didn't have a good day either. I would be wanting to know precisely where the 1:1 was, what they had been doing, who noticed was gone and how long that took.

Is he running "from" anything do you think, or does he just need the physicality of running and climbing?

And that’s when you ask someone to cover for you, you don’t just leave them in their own.

How scary!! I worked at a specialist school and I can categorically say this was one of my biggest fears as a support staff. When you go to your meeting, please ask if the classroom was fully staffed as quite often if staff members were absent, they weren't replace. We used to complain that it was completely unsafe. I hope they give you reassurances on how they will prevent this from happening again. Maybe another risk assessment needs to be completed.

Sounds awful.

Seconding the advice to put an AirTag or similar tracker in his clothes everyday so that if he does run again, you can find him quicker.

Oh god, sympathies OP, my son (ASD and ADHD) did the same at his mainstream school before he was moved- got out through a hole in the fence, which the staff admitted they knew was there, and ended up next to a body of water. Like you, the fact he was found safely was pure luck/member of the public spotting him.

You have every right to be upset and worried and should hold them accountable, they fucked up.

I see a school who has taken an open and comprehensive response to responding to this incident.

They have arranged for the tree to be cut down, they have pur mitigations in place (high vis) and they have agreed to meet with you so you can review the evidence.

They are not brushing the incident under the carpet.

Sometimes things will go wrong at school and home but I think if you can keep that open relationship with the school going, it will help your son in the long run. All your emotions are entirely appropriate and understandable, but I would try and keep it in check when you meet with the school.

I think the key question for the school is how to make sure it can’t happen again. I’ve cared for children who are runners and it’s terrifying for the staff as well.

There's two things here, one is how did they not notice (1:1 isn't necessarily with them at break to try to let kids mix etc but should be observing if that's on his individual school plan, might not be though to allow them a break) and secondly how to prevent again.

He is fine! The school are taking it very seriously and they have had a wake up call to ensure it doesn't repeat. Perhaps wearing a high vis tabard might help spot him, an id bracelet of some kind would be helpful just in case he slips them or you down the line. I'm not defending them but in a small secure playground it sounds like they thought he wasn't able to get out, they know now!

The comment about the camouflage coat is a disgusting excuse.

I have a child who was a runner. Even when I was standing right next to home, he escaped and ran off. It is clear that the school thought the playground was secure. It turns out the tree made it not as secure as they thought. They have rectified it and put other measures in place. What else can they do?? If he had escaped at home would you say you had failed him because you weren't watching him well enough?