Son 6 with SEN escaped specialist school

[Mojo161989]

Really looking for some advice here on what to do about this awful situation and if it's unreasonable to escalate this incident.

My son is 6 years old and is autistic, he has significant needs, is non verbal, has no danger awareness, is a climber, runner, and needs supervision around the clock. He attends a specialist school setting and on Tuesday I got the most horrific phonecall, when I answered I asked if everything was okay as I always do as I have high anxiety around my son injuring himself/becoming poorly at school, and when the reply I got was "no, no it's not okay, I need you to remain calm" I couldn't even listen to what was wrong my heart sank and I passed the phone to my partner to hear as i was in a state of panic and froze, they told him our 6 year old had managed to escape the school playground which has a very high fencing area all the way around it by climbing up a tree, he was out of the school grounds and off into the streets. He has zero awareness of danger and just bolts off, and cannot communicate at all, so my head was in such a mess waiting for them to get back to me as they said to try and remain calm and wait and that they had contacted the police and are all out looking for him. I was thinking the worst if he were to get to a main road he would be straight out in front of the traffic as he needs to be restrained at all times with an adult. Luckily a member of the public saw him and they called me back and told me he was safe.

I just don't know what to do about this situation, he is in a specialist school with high security, he is meant to have a 1 to 1 outside at all times as stated in his EHCP plan. I just cannot understand how this has happened, how in a small playground with a small number of children he has managed to climb a tree and over a very high fence and end up outside of the school grounds. I am just so thankful he is alive more than anything, but my trust in the school has been sullied. When the head spoke to me after the incident she said he had a camouflage kind of coat on so he would have been hard to notice, but he is meant to be being watched at all times. I'm so upset, angry, anxious, there are no other alternative schools he can attend, I fought so hard to get him into this one.

I have a meeting on Tuesday with the school as I have asked to see the incident report, the CCTV footage of this incident to get some clarity. They have arranged a tree surgeon to cut the tree down that he managed to climb and said he will be wearing a high vis at all times outside and will be being watched 1 to 1 which he should be anyway.

So I guess what I'm asking here is aibu to want more than this, I am absolutely heartbroken, anything could have happened to my amazing little boy. I'm just a nervous wreck right now. The ironic thing is I called his teacher around half an hour before this incident as I've been struggling at home with his escaping the doors so have had to put bolts across every door and wanted to see if there was any more support I could get at home. I'm just beside myself right now and could really use some advice.

Hi OP,

I am a Psychologist, and I work in this area.

it sounds as though there are difficulties and risks related to absconding both in home and at school. I know you must be so upset and scared by what happened but try to channel that into seeing the bigger picture here, don’t waste too much energy on feeling angry with school, even in the most diligent situations, things like this can happen (even though it sounds as though their risk assessment needed to be updated). The school have outlined to you all of the things that they are doing to mitigate risk.

Normally in this situation the social worker should do a school visit to understand the risk and with you at home. This is a safeguarding incident- it must have been reported with the police being involved so it should be going through this process. In addition to this you need a home safety assessment through occupational therapy if you haven’t already. They will put the right things in place, lots of young ones are high risk for leaving the house and there are specialist alarms that can be installed, changing the locks/ adding a bolt isn’t enough.

They will do that thinking and support for you, it doesn’t need to come from you or the school. If you have a LO who runs in community from carers and family I would also suggest a piece of CAMHS work, but depending on your area that is more/less available. In London we have large CAMHS services just for children with disabilities for instance, so they are very different to ‘generic’ CAMHS services.

I agree with this. Unfortunately, things happen and I measure people and organisations by how they respond when things go wrong.

In your shoes I would be going into the meeting and expecting them to apologise, explain what went wrong and what they’ve done to prevent it in future. If that happens, then I’d probably accept that and then send an email summarising the meeting afterwards (for the paper trail.)

However, if there were any hint of shifting the blame (camouflage coat? Wtf?!) I’d be less accepting!

Yes, this.

It was an awful incident that should not have happened and you are OF COURSE angry and frightened.

If the school weren’t taking it seriously I would be escalating higher. But they are. He didn’t come to harm and they are putting several measures in place. He will probably be safer there than anywhere now, I imagine their blood ran cold just as yours did.

I’m so sorry, it must be so hard.

In a SEN school especially, why doesn't someone walk the boundary on a regular basis to check the trees? I've had to point out climbing points before in a regular primary as unless you've been in charge of a runner you don't necessarily see that stump-branch-wire or trellis-wall = escape point - SEN school has no excuse, it should be bread and butter to them.

I agree. I am pleased to hear that your son is safe, it must have been a terrible shock to you, and also to the school staff who believe me will also have been left shaking. Obviously the school will be reviewing the safety and security measures they have in place, and can I suggest you do the same, checking up on how you have your home and garden secured externally and internally now that your boy is getting taller, and stronger and has proved he can climb.

Unless you have a Houdini child yourself, or work in special ed, it's hard to believe how quickly and creatively they can escape.
A camouflage coloured coat isn't one I'd choose to buy as the parent of an escaper, but at my special school the Houdini children wore hi viz vests, so I'm surprised that they hadn't already taken that approach.

But yes, they are doing everything I would expect from a school after this kind of incident. While they remain open with you and are addressing every element behind the incident, I'd be feeling fairly comfortable.

Please don't blame the TA too much. Again, it's far more difficult than you'd imagine to never take your eyes off a child, in a busy playground. Just another child coming up to her and distracting her for ten seconds, would be enough for him to have scaled that tree. That's why it's important for the school to do a perimeter check to ensure that there are no opportunities for escape.

Follow up your verbal conversations with emails so you have a paper trail as evidence should you need it. Do the same after the meeting.

Yes,this - plus I would buy him a brighter coat. A camouflage one is not ideal if there are trees/bushes in the grounds.

OP has spoken of the fight to get her son into this school and I imagine that there would be great difficulty in finding a place in another specialist provision and I don’t think that is what she wants either.

A serious incident has happened and frightened everyone, even taking into account the measures in place to mitigate children absconding. Now, further measures will be put in place and have already been decided upon and OP will have a meeting, in which the risk assessment can be further tightened and more measures put in place.

There's no point in having a witch hunt for staff. What needs to happen is that, as a result of the meeting, it is determined whether additional support for DS is needed, so he might have 2-1 support.

This will have been alarming for everyone and I imagine the staff were in bits too. Of course the OP needs reassurance that further RAs will be put in place and the school will want to be as confident as they can be that it is as tight as possible.

Thank you everyone for your responses, there's some extremely helpful advice here and it's made me look at it from both sides, the main thing is that he is okay and hopefully the meeting Tuesday will put some closure on the situation.

A weighted backpack might help, if not already suggested. OT input would be needed to get the right effect. The idea is some ASC children run becasue they have no sense of where they end and their environment starts. The weight helps ground them. It worked really well for a friends boy who was a runner so I'd ask it's considered even if it doesn't work for your son in the end.

Good advice

How did your meeting go today OP? Hope all was ok and you are happy with how it’s being dealt with.

Yes please keep us posted

It sounds like they didn't think he would be able to escape where he was. I work in a special school and it's crazy how fast some of the children can climb over things. They will definitely be watching him all the time now!