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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be offended and angry that cafe refused to let us 'share' our food with 18mo today?

99 replies

iamfurious · 26/04/2008 17:38

Myself, Dp and DS went to the local cafe today. It is one we visit often and we always spend about £20 there, once we've had drinks, meals and ofetn somethig for afters.

They have highchairs so one assumes they don't want to put off families.

Well today we ordered drinks and two meals. first choice of mine not available so i chose something else. My partner ordered a 'double' breakfast. Then we witnessed the owner come down and publicly tell one of the waitresses off in front of the customers.

About five minutes later the waitress came back and said very apologetically that she had been asked to tell us that we were not 'allowed' to share our food with our Ds????????? I was absolutely flabergasted.

There is no kids menu but even if there was I would not be inclined to order a meal that is suitable for a ten year old for a small toddler, who basically just wants to graze and try out bits and pieces of what we are eating.

I went up to speak to the owner/chef who said that people had been 'abusing' the 'double' breakfast by ordering one breakfast and sharing it between two people! he said' its people like you who I am talking about!!!!!!!!!!

I was SO MAD! I told him I could not believe that they could be so petty as to tell people they couldnt share their own,legally purchased food with an 18mo child, who obviously couldn't (and shouldn't!) eat a full meal off an adult menu!!

It left me shaking with anger as it all desended into a bit of a row, and made me feel like I was trying to scam them or something!!

Please tell me, has anyone else come across this and AIBU??

OP posts:

pinkyminky · 26/04/2008 20:53

I don't think it matters who it was for- people often share starters, main courses, whatever.

pointydog · 26/04/2008 21:00

YANBU. You just have to order food, it's not up to the owner who then eats it

PrettyCandles · 26/04/2008 21:04

What!?!?! Most definitely YANBU. I would have walked out there and then. How can they possibly dictate who eats the meal?

I've been to phenomenally posh restaurants and ordered meals to share. They never quibble but bring extra plates, cutlery, etc.

Plonkers. Name and shame on MN Local!

welliemum · 26/04/2008 21:07

I thought Basil Fawlty lived in Devon, not Wilts!

Seriously odd attitude, that.

Maybe (the other side of the coin to MadameP's suggestion) the reason it's failing is that he's had a few too many run-ins wih customers?

Amapoleon · 26/04/2008 21:07

I just keep reading this from a living in Spain perspective. So many meals are shared here, it's inherent in the enjoyment of the meal.

clam · 26/04/2008 21:19

Stupid arse. How short-sighted. I take it he's not worried about the impending recession affecting business if he can afford to alienate customers like this. So, supposing you'd fed DS before going in? Would he have insisted you buy a full meal for him anyway? Or leave him outside? And is he also saying that you are not allowed to take a few titbits off your plate (that you have paid for!) to try out on him?

Cammelia · 26/04/2008 21:23

I would have told him that firstly he should mind his own business. And then said because I couldn't give my child any food obviously I would have to leave and never come back.

halogen · 26/04/2008 21:42

Just to join in with the chorus, YANB at all unreasonable. I've never ordered a whole meal for my daughter who is nearly 20 months old. I sometimes order a kids meal if it's something I know she might eat a lot of but nowhere has ever objected to just bringing an extra plate so she can share my meal (and most places seem to ask me if that's what I want before I've even mentioned it).

SquonkTheBeerGuru · 26/04/2008 21:45

of course you are absolutely NBU.

And the stupid wankery cafe bloke shouldn't have an item on the menu with the word "double" in it if he doesn't want people to share it.

(but that's a completely different matter to sharing your food with a toddler!)

lackaDAISYcal · 26/04/2008 21:47

YA absolutely NBU.

Put an anti listing on MN local!

CitroenDrivingFootballMum · 26/04/2008 21:50

i am at this because...

i was in the cafe in question last saturday with my 23 month old dd and we shared both a toasted sandwich and a piece of cake.

twas blimmin obvious we intended to share, in fact i think i might've even stated the intention when i ordered.

no problems whatsoever.

not defending the place, just at such different experiences in such a short time!!!

much sympathy to the OP. have got a good mind to go back and order more "sharing" food just to see what happens.

lisad123 · 26/04/2008 21:56

I have been out with family tonight to haravester. My dad didnt order a main meal, but everyone else did. My DH didnt want his salad from Salad bar so my dad had it and then at the end they said that wasnt allowed and tried to charge him
I would have gone mad if they said I couldnt share with my kids, so silly. Hope they sell quick.

PhDlifeNeedsaNewLife · 26/04/2008 22:01

you might also like to print this out and take it to cafe owner, just so he gets a clue how unusual his behaviour is!

CitroenDrivingFootballMum · 26/04/2008 22:02

actually no, i won't be going back.

am so as til now i had actually thought it was rather fab.

stchoopid owner.

MrsCarrot · 26/04/2008 22:07

Sounds very odd

I ask for an empty plate almost every time we go out for ds

QuintessentialShadows · 26/04/2008 22:09

Actually, I go to Costa Coffee once or twice a week with my almost 3 year old. He has a toastie, I have a pannini, we have a drink each, and afterwords, I normally go back up to the counter and order a piece of chocolate fudge cake . I am usually asked "Do you want two forks and an additional plate with that madam?"

The cafe owners behaviour is rude, unfriendly, lacking in customer service skills, and so unusual you'd think he was born yesterday.

I think you should print it out and post it to him. I understand you dont want to set your foot in that cafe again, but do post it. He needs to see how awful his attitude is, not least so he will think twice before he lashes out on another mum trying to enjoy a meal with her baby.

blithedance · 26/04/2008 22:12

YANBU. Letting a little child share bits off your plate is no way unreasonable as how on earth could a toddler eat an adult meal?

I can understand if they are trying to "clamp down" on adult sharers though, there is not much profit in the restaurant business and the cost of the food is only part of the price of the meal. (I have friends in the catering trade and they would probably take a similar attitude to a double breakfast). If the place is up for sale they are probably trying to cut their losses, it's so unfortunate that they seem to have given up on customer goodwill though. Hope you find a more welcoming place for you Saturday mornings.

blithedance · 26/04/2008 22:12

YANBU. Letting a little child share bits off your plate is no way unreasonable as how on earth could a toddler eat an adult meal?

blithedance · 26/04/2008 22:12

sorry wobbly finger

Original poster

iamfurious · 26/04/2008 22:20

Citroendrivingmum

I too thought it was a lovely little place, hence probably why I got so upset.

We have also shared our food with our ds there before and nothing was said. We have also bought him his own too ie cake or ice cream etc so they have still made good money out of the little fellow!!

Such a shame

OP posts:

AbbeyA · 26/04/2008 22:25

The more I think about it the sillier it is! You buy a meal-it is up to you who eats it!

peacelily · 26/04/2008 22:26

YANBU this is appalling!! We alawys share ours with dd (19m) everytime we go out, did so in John Lewis today in fact.

Go to the local press.

readyfornum2 · 27/04/2008 07:11

YANBU omg!!
I work in a restaurant and even though we are told to sell sell sell I would never do that! Infact I do myself out of sales if I can see its better for the customer (ie a kid orders an adult pizza-I put it through as a junior and save them about 4 quid!)
And I always offer spare plates if no kids meal is ordered (think thats the mum in me lol)

I hope the local paper runs a big story on it, surely its better to have regular customers spending 20 quid a time than someone spending 30 quid just once!! The man obviously has no business sense!!

WallOfSilence · 27/04/2008 17:16

Glad you left.

Did you pay for the meal you had ordered? I hope not!!

Actually I doubt if your local paper would be interested in the story, they usually like to keep a good working relationship with the local companies & unless this was happening frequently to other also, they probably would be reluctant to do a piece on it.

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