Ruined the wedding dress i was going to send back

[whathaveidonehelp]

Oh mumsnetters I'm hoping you can help me.

I'm getting married soon, and ordered a selection of dresses from John Lewis.

One dress arrived in a box, and as soon as i got it out i could smell it had been worn (BO). Took it back to the store same day, spoke to the manager, refund organised. Stay with me...

Try on another dress (also from john lewis). Got my daughter to take a couple of photos but it wasn't right, and was too small. Walked through to the bedroom and to my horror there is dark make up on the chest. It's a cream shimmery fabric. I have absolutely no idea how that happened, but it must have been my fault as the photo DD took had no mark on the dress.

Not content with messing it up, in my panic i tried to blot it gently and made it worse.

I'm on a budget. We can't afford a big do, I'm happy with that but I've just thrown £500 down the toilet. Ive already taken one dress back saying it was soiled and asked them to make a note to ensure it's not attributed to me.

Is there anything i can?

I 100% guarantee they have ordered clothes to their home before.

What a bizarre assertion to make. I, and many others I'm sure, have never ordered clothes for home delivery.

What are the terms of your "100% guarantee"?

I think in view of the other dress you will just have to suck this one up.

Dry cleaning wedding dresses requires a specialist and it’s expensive. If you sell it on eBay afterwards you might only break even.

I would put it on Freecycle, pretend to yourself you had to fork out £500 on repairs. Find yourself a nice perhaps more budget wedding dress than you were expecting.

I would start by seeing if you can remove the stain either by taking it somewhere or trying one of the methods above.
Then if you genuinely can’t see any trace of it or any effect on the dress take it back to JL. It’s no different to trying it on and then returning imo.
If you can’t quite get it back to original condition then you can either sell it on or have it altered depending whether you like it enough.

The dress will have tags though so attempting to dry clean it and return is a no go.

It’s much harder to let dresses out if they’re too small than to take them in. The chances of it being possible to let it out sufficiently and it to still sit right are slim. OP could pay for it and decide it doesn’t look right.

Do not try and clean it yourself and then try for a refund.
Do not get it dry cleaned and then try for a refund.
From the sound of you, you will hate yourself if you lie.
What would I do?

I haven't seen the dress, but how about trying to see it as some sort of omen that you are meant to have it. Seek professional advice about removing the stain. If that fails, get advice on alteration (lacing up the back can add a couple of sizes) or disguising the stain (beading, brooch). Look on the bright side, it is pre-disastered. You won't have to worry about spilling food on it, tripping and tearing the hem. You can enjoy the day and dance the night away in it.
Good luck.

It’s too small…

Christ there’s some sanctimonious people on here. Can some of you honestly not understand how other people may live a different life to you?

My daughter ordered about 20 wedding dresses from Debenhams to try on which I’m sure will send the pearl clutchers into apoplexy 😂. We live in the arse end of nowhere and I’m disabled. They’re getting married on a low budget and we wanted to have the fun of trying dresses on without having to slog two hours on public transport to do so. I don’t think a lot of you understand that these dresses are off the rack, budget brands like Coast, Oasis etc. The ones we ordered ranged from £60-£200 and I’m sure Debenhams didn’t give a toss when we sent them all back in pristine condition for a refund. They certainly didn’t send the online shopping police round anyway.

@whathaveidonehelp my DD bought a wedding dress from Vinted in the end which had a massive stain on it. It came out almost instantly with Tesco Oxy Spray in a pink bottle.

I haven’t read everything but how did you pay? Some credit cards offer buyers protection insurance (e.g. Amex). Here’s how it works for Amex
https://www.americanexpress.com/uk/security/purchase-protection/
I haven’t used it but worth checking?

Buyers protection against what? Receiving the goods in perfect condition and then staining them?

I was ironing my daughter's new school skirt after giving it a first wash before she wore it. Discovered a name tape from a previous owner! Returned to M&S and given a full refund.

@whathaveidonehelp I sent you a PM. If you saw it, no probs.

An update. I went straight to John Lewis this morning. The assistant was lovely when I explained what had happened and I emphasised again this was all my fault. She spoke to a manager and they gave me a gift voucher (no where near the value of the dress), which was an incredibly kind thing to do and appreciated. This bit made me cry. Daft I know but as I explained, lots going on and this came at a bad time. I took the dress back - she did say that they are very careful with returns over certain price bands, and they appreciated my honesty. In all likelihood it would have been picked up and then they would have disputed a refund. All very messy and unnecessary.

I then popped to a local dry cleaner. Told him the story, and he took the dress and did a quick steam clean on one of the marks that is less obvious. Worked OK, so checked and then did the others. You can still see them but they have faded. I asked how much this costed, and he said it was free. I cried again. He said to clean the whole dress would cost £90, so to go away and have some time to think about what to do next. At some point you have to balance up the mounting costs, and where I'd actually have a wearable dress at the end (I couldn't get it done up at the back due to my big ole' ribs).

I'm taking some time away from the whole wedding thing for a few days to clear my thoughts. Thank you so much to those that helped, and to the lovely lady who actually offered another dress. I don't want to take things from others so very much appreciated but would not like anyone to lose money from a potential sale off the back of my silly mistake.

Hi Op. What a fab way to set the tone of your marriage - fessing up, rolling with the punches, asking for help, trying your best. Me thinks you’re going to have a happy marriage. Maybe your wedding dress will represent all that is good about you and you will love it as such.

I'd use Micellar water on the stain and try to clean it off. Or Vanish liquid and leave for as long as you dare. Then gently remove the Vanish using a cloth and water. If it's a small stain use cotton buds for cleaning.Then return it as too small. If it's from JL online you can just send it back via Waitrose with the form. If you weren't wearing makeup when you tried it on, I find it hard to believe it wasn't there beforehand.

Not a good omen for the wedding - what does that mean? Are you quite new to the earth, that's not really how things work!!

Goodness I don’t know why someone said this cheeky to order a few different items of clothing with intent to choose the best one !
I have to do that , often my size and fit aren’t in store so I need to order online

I wouldn't start my marriage on a lie

Do keep up @Viviennemary , yet again a totally behind the times, out of touch comment from you. It’s EXTREMELY normal these days to buy multiple outfits to try at home and send back what you don’t want. For a whole host of reasons.. (doesn’t fit, don’t like the style, not what you thought it would be.. yada yada yada)

Option one - there is a massive mark up (excuse the pun) on wedding dresses so I'd you take it back and say that this one has a stain on it, they won't be massively out of pocket when they later sell it on at a much cheaper price.

Option 2 a take it to a Dry cleaners and have it spot cleaned only and then take it back.

Yes American Express covers accidental damage on goods bought with it for the first 90 days which is why someone suggested it.

If you have accidental damage on your home insurance you could claim. I tore a pocket off a vortex coat catching it on a door handle years ago not as expensive as the dress but I had proof of cost and purchase and they paid out less the excess. But it depend on your home insurance

So to get married you can never have told a lie - what ever? Or just about the dress?

John Lewis refused to take a dress back for me that was still with tags on when it wasn’t right for my event. Wouldn’t even offer an exchange for something different. They said only exchanges they do on ball gowns etc is if they were damaged. So my mum put a pull in the fabric and took it back to a different john Lewis for an exchange. It was twenty odd years ago before people come at me. And we tried to do things in a decent way first

i used to work in retail - we would not accept a dress that was stained back. There is no magic insurance as has been mentioned. It is not JL’s fault you were careless. You didn’t want an obviously worn dress so why would you do this to someone else? Bad karma.

the OP said her dress was high street priced so it is hardly worth paying £100 in alterations.

I’d just try to clean it and sell it on - at least get some of your money back.

Oh OP I’m so sorry. 😔 . But you’re a good person and have good morals as I bet others would try and return it and hide the stain for some other poor bride. Hopefully you can make it the dress you like or resell on vinted after dry cleaning

With the dress size wise. You could take it to a seamstress and have the zip replaced for a corset back. I had to do it to mine as despite being custom measures hahaha liers. The ribs was too small. Even with a panel added so you don’t have to have a bare back. If you actually like the dress that is.

She charged about £60 for it back then 2012.