Ruined the wedding dress i was going to send back

[whathaveidonehelp]

Oh mumsnetters I'm hoping you can help me.

I'm getting married soon, and ordered a selection of dresses from John Lewis.

One dress arrived in a box, and as soon as i got it out i could smell it had been worn (BO). Took it back to the store same day, spoke to the manager, refund organised. Stay with me...

Try on another dress (also from john lewis). Got my daughter to take a couple of photos but it wasn't right, and was too small. Walked through to the bedroom and to my horror there is dark make up on the chest. It's a cream shimmery fabric. I have absolutely no idea how that happened, but it must have been my fault as the photo DD took had no mark on the dress.

Not content with messing it up, in my panic i tried to blot it gently and made it worse.

I'm on a budget. We can't afford a big do, I'm happy with that but I've just thrown £500 down the toilet. Ive already taken one dress back saying it was soiled and asked them to make a note to ensure it's not attributed to me.

Is there anything i can?

Neither dress. The back of the disaster dress suits you but the front looks shapeless and doesn't do justice for your figure.
The second dress looks a size too big on you.
A dress with a bit more of a sleeve would suit

What is different about ordering 3 and sending 2 back, to buying one, returning, buying a second, returning, and then buying a third and keeping it?

Wedding sizing is 2-6 sizes smaller. I’m size 8-10. My wedding dress was wedding dress size 16

I agree with most of this.

Disaster dress is so flattering from behind, it works better as a general shape than the other one. The whiter colour suits better too. Would some detail to the front of the neck improve it?

Im curious why you’re wasting your time buying dresses and taking them home to try on ….

Just go to a bridal shop and try dresses on. Wed2be has cheaper dresses and 1000’s of them.

Get the dress cleaned and return it.

And I think dd1 had to pay for an appointment to try on dresses!

It probably depends on the seamstress. Dd's didn't charge for a consultation.

It’s not cheeky at all, as the company you are purchasing from will have a published returns policy. Your consumer rights give you 14 days cooling off period for anything bought that you’ve not seen (online). Whether they charge or not for a return is up to them.

Online shopping has hugely affected the way in which people shop, and in order to remain competitive, this is part of the deal.

Don't understand quite why ‘this does your head in’. It doesn’t affect your ‘bottom line profit’ does it?

Thought it was standard to get your wedding dress altered? I paid around £150 4 years ago

Just send it back

Sorry didn't RTFT. The disaster dress is nicer and will be fine with some lace and darts.

Disaster dress not to disastrous OP. In fact it's infinitely better! Maybe it needs a little lift at the shoulders (and a better bra). Am sure you have the latter in hand.

I like the disaster dress but the alterations do seem a lot (of course you still need to add the cost of alterations even to the second dress). Really good underwear can achieve miracles. As John Lewis were so nice do they recommend anyone for alterations?

Is the lace at the front the bit that's pinned? What's the reason for that? To alter or cover the stain?

I think disaster dress looks lovely on you. How far away is it from fitting? On your pictures it doesn't look a lot.

How far away is the wedding? A couple of pounds weight loss and you might just get in it?

I don't think either of them look bad. It really depends if you are happy with a high street fit. If not it's likely anything you buy will need some alteration.

I had a little beaded bodice/ bolero (I don't know the correct word!) thing that slipped over my shoulders just from Debenhams. Something like that would add interest to disaster dress (as we seem to be calling it).

The back is stunning on you.

Why? When my two DDs were being flower girls for my neice I must have ordered dozens of dresses and shoes in total, there being different dresses in different sizes for two of them. Much less stressful doing it at home than in a shop where the chances are we would get the perfect dress for one of them but it would be out of stock in the correct size for the other (the bride wanted matching). All but two dresses and two pairs of shoes went back in perfect condition. I think it is just how people shop now.

That said, I do understand that this way of working causes big problems for stores that not only have the cost of processing/checking returns, but also never know exactly what percentage of their sales are going to come back.

How? It will have a tag I assume?

My wedding dress alterations probably cost nearly as much as the dress

aomeone then said you should advise brides that off the rack dresses can cost as much as the dress to get resized.

Why ? Most people I know would do this.

I think it’s highly admirable how you’re dealing with this and you never know John Lewis might jelp

indid a very short stint in retail and we always tried as best we could with the customers who were nice. The ones who lie and shout and scream (one customer threw a landline phone at my eye and knocked me out) we don’t want to do mych

you never know x

Agreed with pp, the disaster dress looks amazing. The rogue dress looks nice but not amazing.

I’d get whatever you need done to disaster dress and keep that. It really is stunning and you suit it.

Disaster dress, your figure looks lovely in it. The dress shows off your nice toned arms.

OP has already said she doesn’t have a lot of options re bridal shops. Personally I think there must be at least a bridal shop somewhere near her. I’ve known people drive to the other side of London and miles away to get a specific bridal dress.

Another vote for disaster dress

I would have a dressmaker or sewer friend appliqué a suitable piece of cloth/cloth with lace/whatever over the entire section of the dress’s panel where the stained section is.

Make it a feature by adapting with sections of the same over sleeve/ cuffs/ or another suitable part.