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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think pet owners should stop calling themselves “dog mums” and “cat dads?”

398 replies

TheDeftAquaViewer · 06/11/2024 19:21

It just feels a bit much when people treat their pets as if they’re children. AIBU to think this trend has gone a bit too far?

OP posts:
Freeyourminds · 07/11/2024 00:53

Comedycook · 06/11/2024 19:26

I think it's directly linked to the falling birthrate

😂

GiddyRobin · 07/11/2024 00:58

Freeyourminds · 07/11/2024 00:53

😂

My immediate reaction also, but I felt quoting it might be a bit harsh given my history with her.

My best friend never wanted children. She likes them! Doesn't want them though. Her career is incredible, her life is amazing. She's happy. She has zero intention of interrupting that by having a baby. And why should she? She has fun! Her life is amazing and so rich! One month she's in Texas, the next she's in England drinking tea with me. Then she's in Japan!

Why should she desire a baby? She doesn't. She has two giant amazing dogs, and five rescue cats, two of which she saved herself. She's not missing out. She just has a different life to me. I don't want her life, she doesn't want mine. We still love and respect each other.

Imagine if your whole life revolved around wanting kids. Jesus.

BebbanburgIsMine · 07/11/2024 01:07

I have two adult DDs, one of whom lives with me.

Our cat is our baby, I am his mummy and I don't really care what people think, DD and I both adore him, and he rules the house.

Just as he should.

Twangy · 07/11/2024 01:22

I can't say that how pet owners refer to themselves has any impact on my life whatsoever.
So I give it zero thought.

Freeyourminds · 07/11/2024 01:23

GiddyRobin · 07/11/2024 00:58

My immediate reaction also, but I felt quoting it might be a bit harsh given my history with her.

My best friend never wanted children. She likes them! Doesn't want them though. Her career is incredible, her life is amazing. She's happy. She has zero intention of interrupting that by having a baby. And why should she? She has fun! Her life is amazing and so rich! One month she's in Texas, the next she's in England drinking tea with me. Then she's in Japan!

Why should she desire a baby? She doesn't. She has two giant amazing dogs, and five rescue cats, two of which she saved herself. She's not missing out. She just has a different life to me. I don't want her life, she doesn't want mine. We still love and respect each other.

Imagine if your whole life revolved around wanting kids. Jesus.

Edited

Love your post, l’m on the same page.

Isittimeformynapyet · 07/11/2024 01:26

@LetsRedecorate

"Pre" cooked chicken?

Presumably that's the same as "cooked chicken"? Or do you know of a way to cook chicken while it's actually being eaten?

Isittimeformynapyet · 07/11/2024 01:31

"The judgemental, nasty, horrible shots at these people are disgusting. I haven't read the full thread, just the first page and that's all I need to see."

Chill out. Those comments are actually in the minority.

Sweetnessandbite · 07/11/2024 01:41

calmandcaffeinated · 06/11/2024 19:28

I call myself 'mum' to our dog and my husband 'dad'. We also have a DS4 who calls our dog his 'brother'. We are all a family and it doesn't matter what other people think. We were really worried about our dog yesterday as he wasn't himself and was hiding in a corner (when normally he is a pocket rocket) and in those times you really feel like their parent in some way, as you're their caregiver.

Could it have been due to the fireworks?

OonaStubbs · 07/11/2024 01:45

No human being can be the mum or dad of a cat or dog because they are animals.

AlpacaMittens · 07/11/2024 04:06

Comedycook · 06/11/2024 21:22

No they don't. You buy things and pretend they are doing it.

Same as when a three year old gives their mum a card for mother's day. Do three year olds really pop into Card Factory?

Catsmere · 07/11/2024 04:30

BebbanburgIsMine · 07/11/2024 01:07

I have two adult DDs, one of whom lives with me.

Our cat is our baby, I am his mummy and I don't really care what people think, DD and I both adore him, and he rules the house.

Just as he should.

Sounds just like my mum and me twenty years ago, except we had five!

Westfacing · 07/11/2024 04:44

I think it's just a fun and affectionate way to refer to your pets - I didn't do it but see no harm.

Many years ago a friend in the US used to correspond with her adult niece by letter - the niece asked for future letters to be addressed to 'Betty and Rover' as he was an important part of her life. That's a bit sad.

Itoldyousoo · 07/11/2024 04:54

Aaaw my fur children ❤️😂

Crankyaboutfood · 07/11/2024 05:55

thesunisastar · 06/11/2024 19:28

I get where you are coming from, I don't like it either.

But I also understand why people don't like using the term 'owner', which relegates a much-loved living creature to the same status as a car or a coat.

Not sure what the middle ground is.

this exactly

ANiceBigCupOfTea · 07/11/2024 06:07

I don't get why people are so obsessed with this. Every week there's a post on here about this.
There's all kinds of bad things going on in the world but yes absolutely some people breaking MN high law of calling themselves their cats or dogs mum or dad are the absolute worst.....

wickerlady · 07/11/2024 06:10

Comedycook · 06/11/2024 19:26

I think it's directly linked to the falling birthrate

Or the decline in society as a whole.

OlafLovesOlives · 07/11/2024 06:12

Some of you are really OTT and miserable. Using words like sinister, repulsive, pathetic, vomit, bitter, disrespectful to the animals, dehumanising children??

The ‘traditional’ family set up had changed a long time ago and will continue to change. If people think and treat their pets as family so what, it has nothing to do with you. Go find a hobby if you have nothing better to do than stress about something so trivial.

My daughter and husband desperately wanted a cat, I wasn’t bothered so I said go for it. He is very affectionate towards them but I’m clearly his ‘person’. He has honestly turned me to mush. I love my child unconditionally and I hope she will always love me unconditionally but if you really think about it there are a little bits of ‘conditions’ there. I carried her, birthed her, she’s a part of me. She HAS to love me. Whereas this creature, this different species who will forever have the brain of a toddler has chosen to love and trust me.

My daughter is at the age where her hormones are taking over and she hasn’t been exactly delightful recently! After a shouting, door banging session the cat will run over to me. If I’m sitting down he’ll climb on my lap, sometimes will stand and put his paws on my shoulder like he’s giving me a hug to calm me down. I found it so shocking the first time he did it like he was saying never mind that monster I’m here for you 😂It was lovely and I felt this rush of love.

Husband & daughter say they’re father & sister I don’t refer or think of myself as his mum. I’m his guardian, his protector and he is part of my family.

Catsmere · 07/11/2024 07:06

@OlafLovesOlives ❤️❤️❤️😻😻😻

ImJustAGirlInACountrySong · 07/11/2024 07:07

Haha!! 😝

Bonkers mumsnet....again!

I'm a dog mum, and will call myself that, really couldn't give a shit what 'mumsnetters' think or say!!

Saying we shouldn't call ourselves this or that....jog on love!

😂 😂

EmpressaurusDelleGatte · 07/11/2024 07:10

Catsmere · 06/11/2024 22:50

I've got less imaginative over the years, my current pair have far fewer! 😸😸

My cat’s starting to rack them up! 😻

DutchCowgirl · 07/11/2024 07:15

I am a mother of 2 human kids and 2 feline kids. The human kids were much easier to raise , cause less trouble, make less mess and sleep through the nights 😂

Pusheen467 · 07/11/2024 07:40

OonaStubbs · 07/11/2024 01:45

No human being can be the mum or dad of a cat or dog because they are animals.

Yep. There's a few people on tbjs thread getting very worked up. Yes, being childfree is a great choice and relationships with animals can be rewarding and beautiful.

You still are not the animals' parent.

Agix · 07/11/2024 07:52

My cat and pet spider are my babies and I am their mummy and my partner is their daddy.

It literally effects no one else so we shall continue being mummy and daddy to the pet cat and spider.

We even get mothers and fathers day presents and cards from the cat and spider.

Although I have to agree that I do find that pretty inappropriate - how are they affording presents when they don't even pay us rent?! How does the spider even get to the shop?! Maybe she uses amazon, someone should talk to her about how it's important to choose small business instead.

Anyway. I'm sorry you're offended that your children can't spin webs and one of mine can. Or whatever it is you're offended by. I forget now. All children develop at different rates. One day your child, too, will learn how to climb walls and poop neatly in the box.

Freeyourminds · 07/11/2024 08:03

Differentstarts · 06/11/2024 22:07

But their not valid and completely contradict each other. First it's because it's the only way to get a dog out who is disabled to play at the park. Now it's to walk them around shops. I wouldn't even take an able dog shopping as it's a dog not a child. Dogs can stay at home for a few hours while you go shopping you don't need to take it everywhere, it's not a baby.

A relative, has a rescue dog, prior he’d been in a RTA, lost a leg, he’s now 16 years old, he goes out in a dog stroller, just so he rest, because of his mobility.He’ll walk as much as he can then go back in.My relative is totally aware he’s not a baby, she wants to make sure her dog, doesn’t over do it, is able to rest, when out.Why would you leave your dog at home, when many places are dog friendly, dogs want to be out too, just like people do.

LouH5 · 07/11/2024 08:13

Anyway. I'm sorry you're offended that your children can't spin webs and one of mine can.

@Agix i think this has to be one of my fave mumsnet lines ever!