To have not informed estranged family.

[Mmmcheese89]

18 months ago I had to have a broken bone fixed under general anaesthetic. It was an open procedure involving plates, pins and a cool scar.

I've been estranged from my entire family for over 10 years, so over 9 at the point of surgery. Estranged, no contact AT ALL. Any of them. Not surviving parent, sibling, grandparent or aunts/uncles. It's been a blissfully peaceful decade. The best of my life.

I had a fair bit of time off work and colleagues knew why. Upon my return one colleague in particular couldn't get past the fact I didn't contact my family to let them know. I went in to surgery alone, came out alone. The only non-clinical support I had was my neighbour kindly popping in to feed my pets when I wasn't allowed home same day as planned.

Every couple of months since it gets brought up by this colleague. They're young, still live at home, have very different life experience than me. Not a bad thing in any way. But she just keeps saying how she can't understand/believe I didn't contact them.

I've been polite and brushed it off. I've been stern and said 'Enough now. My private life isn't your concern. I'm evidently ok.' but she just keeps on. Management are ineffectual when I try to raise it further.

So. Even though I am strongly feeling I wasn't.

Was I being unreasonable not to notify my blood relatives of my accident and surgery?

She’s just harping on in the hope that you’ll finally tell her why. She’s nosy and it’s driving her nuts. Deffo grey rock to her face and keep flagging it up to management / HR as harrassment.

Absolutely report to HR snd that she deliberately lurked to listen to your private conversation.

Create a paper and tell HR you are doing so as you will be contacting 101 about harassment.

She needs to be told to STFU.

She’s being appallingly rude. Tell her so.

I would tell her the only reason she knows anything about your family is because she was eavesdropping on a private conversation. Tell her that your private life is absolutely none of her concern and that she shows immaturity in not acknowledging that and not understanding that not all families are like hers. I'd tell her if she kept making intrusive personal remarks you'd go to HR.

Heck no, you were not unreasonable. I'm estranged myself and this exactly what I would do.

Your colleague has no clue, okay. I'm sure you have come across lots of people over the years that don't get why some adult children go no contact. This is just another one.

You know yourself how much you would have disturbed your own peace by telling them anything.

OP, if your nosey impertinent colleague asks another question, just reply "why?" Or "why do you ask?". Then remain silent.
If she dares continue, you repeat "why?" Or "why do you ask?".
Ad infinitum.

Sorry if I replied twice, my app shut.

Do not justify to her at all why you won't be discussing anything with her.

Email her and copy in HR so you have evidence and say that you will.not be discussing any of your personal, medical or family issues with her and to stop repeatedly asking you intrusive questions when you have already told her not too.

Also mention that you have never discussed anything personal with her and if she has accidentally overheard anything then to not mention it to others.

What a nosey bitch.