To think this is OTT for a child’s party

[TheFluentGoldNewt]

took my 4yo to a party for a child at his nursery at the weekend. It was jungle themed and Ive never seen any parent go so all out for a party before. The whole place (church hall) was outfitted in themed decorations all handmade. I’m not kidding when I say it must have been HOURS of work in making these decorations. I’ve been to weddings that were less decorated than this. I’m talking themed handmade bunting going back and forth, themed balloon decorations (made not bought), a table runner, homemade props everywhere etc.

is this seriously what we are doing for parties now or is this parent seriously out of touch?

I honestly can’t imagine spending my evenings up to my elbows in glue and faff for a 2 hour party for 4year olds!

I love children's parties. I would throw lavish ones. Lots of decorations - themes, mad cakes, party bags etc. I loved the planning, the execution of it and seeing the kids faces. I wasn't out of touch, I wasn't looking to impress anyone other than my kids and their friends. Some people love parties. Stop being judging - did your child have fun?

Broke my heart when the children grew out of parties. They were never a chore for me

I don’t understand the problem. I would probably have said “wow amazing they made this” - because it sounds pretty impressive.
I am trying to be more environmentally conscious and there are a lot of things we don’t do doce our children because of it (eg. No balloons) but there’s a time and a place and it’s their child after all

would I personally do this? No

would I bitch about it? No wtf

I just couldn’t get worked up about someone putting a lot of effort in to something for their child

I think yanbu op. Hopelessly OTT for a 5yo. And yes obviously I know its totally the parents choice and up to them but my query in situations like this is always - if you go to all that effort for a 5yo (huge expensive gifts, very fancy party or trips to Disneyland etc) what will you need to do to please your child as the child gets older and expects more and more?

Why would the child continue to demand more and more? 🤔
A few homemade decorations at their party won’t change well adjusted children into Verucca Salt.

What a delight you sound OP

You sound really mean. They obviously put a lot of effort in- hall parties often require a lot of effort on the parent’s behalf to make them good. I am lazy for parties- I like an organised activity where I don’t have to do much other than food. However, the family in your post put a lot of effort in to make something look nice and to do something nice for the children attending and you’ve come on here to bitch about it. Your child might not care now at 4 but I bet they’ve got some awesome photos and a sense of satisfaction from the theming.

I think in this situation it's the exact opposite. Surely there's a very narrow window in a child's life where they want a party in a hall and would be really excited by homemade under the sea decorations, so make the most while you can!

Waste their time on???? They probably enjoyed doing it all! I spent weeks making things for my daughter’s 4th birthday party. I absolutely loved it! Why has it affected you so much op that someone has put so much effort into a birthday party?

I actually think you’re being pretty mean , for my daughters filth birthday she wanted a princess party , me and the neighbour collected boxes for weeks and we drew and painted a giant pink castle that went all around the room so it looked like the party was held in a castle , we made a rapunzle with hair dangling down from the window , all hand made all took weeks , my daughter her cousins and her friends from reception had an amazing party all came fancy dress and I still have the photos on my wall , she’s now 19 . This is a memory for the parents and memories for the kids , it isn’t to your liking sure but why say she’s out of touch it’s just mean.

I think it’s rude to say the parent is out of touch because they chose to spend their time making decorations some people are crafty. I’d love to have the time, energy and creativity to make my own decorations.

The saddest part is parents trying to do the party bigger and better than anyone else. It's all for show on social media.

You really think the primary motivation for doing a fabulous party for your child is to out do other parents?
Interesting perspective 🤔

Different people show love in different ways.
I think it’s brilliant.
that child is going to grow up remembering the effort their parents put in for them.
my eldest is 15 now and he remembers every terrible world book day costume I made for him and the love that was made with.
It’s not like the parent just splashed a load of cash.
you sound bitter and jealous

My mum used to create the most amazing decorations for my birthday parties. Every single year, she would put in so much effort, often staying up late the night before just to make sure everything was perfect by the time I woke up. I remember rooms filled with balloons, fake snow, and so much more—it was pure MAGIC.
Yes, it was a lot of work, but she enjoyed doing it. Looking back, I hardly remember the gifts, but the decorations and how they made me feel are memories I’ll never forget. My sister feels the same way. Now, I try to bring that same magic to my own children’s celebrations, knowing that some kids really do treasure these moments.
You could argue that, at four, they might not remember—or maybe they will, and it could become one of their very first special memories.

Hmmm…

We took our children to National Trust properties on a regular basis when they were young. They are now well into their teenage years and contrary to your comment, are doing absolutely fine - what a ridiculous thing to say! Oh, and I’m not sure what a ‘twee’ parent is - clearly some silly name you use when parents want to actually spend quality time with their kids, instead of leaving them in their rooms to do what the hell they like 🤷‍♀️

You do you - just don’t put others down who actually want to be present in their childrens childhood 🙄

Short answer - you can do what you want for your child.
So can anyone else. I imagine the parents have had as much fun as the child. And so be it. You don't do what you don't want to and just get on with it.

I would and have done this but....my child is a miracle baby and will be the only child I ever give birth to. We don't always know what is going on behind the scenes.

I go all out for my four children. Everything you have mentioned above as standard plus themed favours a two tier cake, ive had photo booths, themed photo areas, to be homest the list that comes to mind is huge, its not because i am showing off to anyone i start planning very early, make a lot myself. I do it because i had absolutley nothing growing up, i had truly negligent parents. So when i got my chance to make a fuss of my own children after a cancer battle and some truly horrific childhood illnesses for two of mine, i decided that i would give them birthdays they would always remember and know that they where made to feel so so special on their special day because trust me you never know how many birthdays are left. You really cant judge what someone else wants to do for their child, even the cost side, that parent could start saving the day after the party for another whole year.

we make a real fuss of every guest and food for the parents we want everyone to go home having had a brilliant time with our family

also our eldest is 17 and she has been over the big parties for years you really do only get a small window for those types of things, its an amazing time, then they grow up and just want to do something like a day out with a few friends

So what. If they want to make an ott effort why is that an issue to you? You went, let your kid eat their food and play. Where's the harm?

You sound envious, maybe you're not, but taking offence at someone else's lovingly decorated setting for their child's party is definitely very weird.

And your point is what????.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Jesus how judgmental.

For what it's worth I also go all out on my kids parties and I have a full time (considered stressful) job. It brings me joy to do these things for my children.

They probably don't remember the earlier years but recently my 10 year old told me that I throw the best parties and that made me very happy.

The trick is to admire, then move on.
Some other parent doing stuff doesn't mean you need to do it too.
That's it. Just enjoy the experience, thank the parent for a great party, and move on with your own life.
If your kid starts to whinge they also want the same, you explain that your family does this thing your own way.

"Waste their time on".

You can't help yourself...

Really, really unpleasant.

I know a lot of people that find crafting in the evenings relaxing. They are no more worth judgement than those that relax with wine or Love Island.

Maybe her love language is acts of service and she got a lot of pleasure doing this for her DC.

I bet she thought it was a lovely use of her time.