To think this is OTT for a child’s party

[TheFluentGoldNewt]

took my 4yo to a party for a child at his nursery at the weekend. It was jungle themed and Ive never seen any parent go so all out for a party before. The whole place (church hall) was outfitted in themed decorations all handmade. I’m not kidding when I say it must have been HOURS of work in making these decorations. I’ve been to weddings that were less decorated than this. I’m talking themed handmade bunting going back and forth, themed balloon decorations (made not bought), a table runner, homemade props everywhere etc.

is this seriously what we are doing for parties now or is this parent seriously out of touch?

I honestly can’t imagine spending my evenings up to my elbows in glue and faff for a 2 hour party for 4year olds!

I did this sort of thing when my children were little. I am good at it, and it made us happy. As far as I know, none of my children's friends or their parents felt the need to sneer at my efforts. Maybe they did. I can't say I give a dry fuck, tbh 🤷🏻‍♀️

What do you waste your time on @TheFluentGoldNewt ?

I think we all tend to assume that other parents are going all the things that we do, AND the extra thing that makes them stand out. So it triggers our insecurities. I was an OTT party crafter too when my dc were small and my house was absolutely hanging! I just desperately needed projects and creativity because I was drowning in endless drudgery,

it backfires though because it’s really off putting to other dps and a fast way to lose friends at the school gate.

Sounds like it simply made you feel a bit insecure. That's a you problem, not them.

Kind of hope someone in your school sees this and you stop getting invited tbh, your post is so mean spirited 😕 it’s not a good look on you

She didn't do it to make you feel inadequate - perhaps you need to think why you've had such an ott reaction to it.

It's excessive but seems the norm these days

It sounds wonderful! I admire people who are crafty and can make decorations that actually look like the thing they are intended to be. It doesn't matter if the kids don't remember or appreciate the effort, if the parent enjoyed making decorations and planning a fun party then good for them! They are making memories too.

Not everything is a competition OP.

Sounds ace to me!

If it is something they really enjoy doing then how is it a waste of time? I have no idea what hobbies and interests you have, but there is a fair chance that if you gave some examples of things you enjoy spending time doing, other people would say "Huh, why on earth would anyone want to faff about doing that?"

Basically, you do you, etc.....

The point you are totally missing op, even though many people pointed this out to you very patiently, is that....and I'll go slowly....

Maybe the parents ENJOY creating stuff. It's their downtime, their hobby.

You keep banging on about whether a 4 year old notices or not, which is rather obviously, not a whole lot, but some.

Sounds lovely and how great your child could enjoy that.

People spend their money and time on things which to others seem pointless (golf, fancy restaurants, knitting, etc.), you sound pretty negative and spiteful. I’m sure that’s not the case, but it sounds like the ‘mum bitchiness’ people complain about on here which I’ve been lucky enough not to encounter (yet!).

No, I don't think it's OT.

It sounds lovely and very thoughtful of whoever made the decorations. We all enjoy doing different things...you understand that,yeah??

Right and you've decided to post about it on a popular parenting website so the parents might see this... why?

It sounds great. I'd have loved that as a kid. Why do you consider it a waste of time if the children all enjoyed it? It's great that different parents do different parties. Some do soft play , some themed parties. I loved trying to do creative things for my kids. If you're not into that, that's fine. Equally fine if other parents do like crafting. They're obviously very artistic and had fun making it.

17 years ago we went to a pirate themed party, first year of reception.

Everything was handmade, it was beautiful and personal and loved. It is the only party I really remember.

I never did anything of the sort, but I don't begrudge someone else doing it .

It sounds lovely especially as they made the decorations themselves rather than throwing money at the event

I recently spent many hours planning my kid's party (I was the entertainer and there was a whole script and a ton of activities that required advance preparation). I spent way too many hours of my life doing it. Don't regret it. Party was awesome. It was all for the kids; parents weren't there. The kids loved it (they are a bit older than 4).

Similarly, I bet the parents for the party OP went to loved all the planning and prep. Sounds a lot nicer than cheap plasticky decorations anyway. I think I would have appreciated it, as an attending parent.

However, equally I'm looking forward to a turn up and everything is organised by the venue kind of party for my second child.

I think there's a feeling of pride/enjoyment that some people get when they plan/craft/make stuff. I also get this when i make a birthday cake.

I did parties like this when my kids were small. At the time there were reasons why I couldn’t work, I’m crafty, it gave me an outlet for my creativity. I really enjoyed doing it. I’m upset to think some of the other parents might have been sneering at my efforts.

Come on, folks, OP has been very gracious in accepting that she's been a bit of a dafty, so no need to keep up the pile-on.

Don’t be jel.

Sounds like a crafty person. Or an Instagrammer. Or both. Probably both.

Hello. Some people love making things and a lot of pleasure could've come from putting it all together for the party. Not something I could manage as I don’t have the skill or interest but I know those that do. It might be worth thinking about why you felt you needed to post something about it. It’s one thing to have a passing thought- gosh this is a bit OTT/must’ve taken ages etc etc but another to keep thinking about it. If you are worried that this means you have to do the same or similar, absolutely not. You do you. I have a good friend who makes the most amazing cakes for her kids, it’s so lovely to see how chuffed she is when she brings them out, she loves baking and they taste delicious! But this doesn’t have any impact on me bringing out a supermarket cake for birthdays because I don’t enjoy baking and it has no effect on what my friend thinks of me. We all tread our own path, just enjoy yours!

@TheFluentGoldNewt is this seriously what we are doing for parties now or is this parent seriously out of touch?

What makes decorations out of touch?

Were they gold plated? Did the party bags contain iPhones?

Imagine getting worked up over decorations in a church hall for a child’s birthday party. Jesus Christ 😅

Out of touch? What do you mean by that?
If you don’t want to take the same trouble - just don’t 🤷🏻‍♀️
Describing what she’s done as “out of touch” is really quite odd. It sounds fabulous.

The parents obviously enjoyed doing all that, some people absolutely love craft.

Don't be disdainful, we are all different and you are not in competition. That child's parent may read this thread and feel quite hurt.