To expect friends to at least send a text?

[Gramaphone]

I live very rurally. Nearest neighbour over half mile away, nearest village about 5 miles. My husband has had to go away for a week, and he has taken my car as it needs some work doing on it whilst he is away. He drives a big white van. I could drive it, but narrow country lanes and limited visibility means I can’t unless an emergency really.
so I am basically housebound. I have plenty of food in, plus the dog and cat.
i need to get to town on Friday so prearranged with one friend for a lift. Other friends all know I am here, on my own. I sent them all invites to pop round for a cuppa any time. After 4 days now Not one has even sent a text asking if I am ok, do I need anything, etc. feeling very isolated- do I call them or should I expect them to get in touch with me?

I wouldn’t consider you housebound and would assume you would text if you needed anything. I also wouldn’t have sent my car off with DH!

No I wouldn't check on a friend who was alone for a week unless they were disabled or seriously unwell.
Lots of people live alone, you have food, you do have access to transport. Your being a little silly.

@Gramaphone so you're fine and have a partner who I presume is keeping in touch. More than a lot of us have.

You can drive the van you choose not to you also sound very needy and spoilt expecting to be mifted and laid at every turn ur an adult so pull up your big girl pants quit tje poor me act and get up and get on with it

Hopefully this was a helpful post, rather than you feeling sat on -- but I think genuinely very few people would send an 'Are you OK?' text in your circumstances, but would assume you would contact them if you needed something, just as you pre-arranged a lift with a friend for Friday.

Not sure why they should be checking up on you? I only “check up” on my good friends if they are going through a bad patch, and that would only be once a week at most. Obviously they can get in contact with me too.

If you desperately need something then you could get a taxi into town surely. You aren’t housebound.

You are a grown adult living in your own home, in perfect health as far as we know. Why would your friends be checking you are okay? Presumably your husband is in contact and would know if you were not okay.

If you want people to visit the best plan is to give a specific invitation, as in "Would you like to come over for lunch on Tuesday?" or "Why don't you bring Fido out to me on Friday, and we'll walk the dogs and have a coffee". "Drop in anytime" is vague, and unless they live next door people probably won't do it.

...........but you’re making it sound like you’ve been abandoned in a shack, in the Australian outback, with only one bottle of water and a piece of bread

Oh dear, OP. But this comment made me laugh.

Sorry you're feeling lonely.

Can you text someone and ask if they want to come round?

Unless you’re incapacitated in some way I don’t think it’s on your friends to check on you, a grown adult? If you need help then ask for it, people do have their own lives to content with!

One thing OP if you know you don’t like being alone for long periods, when you ask friends to just drop in for coffee they might not, much better to be specific. I’d love it if you could come over Thurs 10am for cake and a walk or something enticing. If you’re vague people just dismiss it.

Would you prefer not to be quite so isolated? Maybe a village edge would suit you more? Bike? Make friends with neighbour half a mile away and do hobby together? Hope you can turn it into an opportunity to make some good things happen for yourself.

Could you not have hired a car for the week? You knew you'd struggle with the van.
If you want to see your friends then directly invite them round. Is there a village pub you could meet them in, if maybe your home is so awkward to get to. I honestly think it sounds a bit OTT of you to say you feel so isolated. Have you only just moved to this rural area from a big city? Are you disabled? If not then couldn't you ride a push bike into the village? Presuming you chose to live in this fairly remote place I'd hope you'd be more prepared for how it feels to be there alone for a few days.

What😂

Dh works away every week. You have a van. You're an adult.

I mean, this. Honestly, OP. Housebound is very different from your situation.

It's the working week, and people will have their own stuff on. You've got food and a lift for Friday. You need to get a grip.

Van is there, drive it.

None of your friends think you have a problem unless you tell them.

I'd probably assume friend was very happy living where they live unless they said otherwise. If a friend said they were scared/ lonely/ ill/ wanted to meet up, I would see them!
You do have a vehicle as well!

Would I check in on friends whose husband has taken the car for a week? LOL! No! Well maybe if they were particularly elderly or infirm.

Have you got one of those new fangled mobile phones? They’re super handy. If you need to get out of the hell you have found yourself in there are taxis you can call. I also live rurally but it’s 2024 and I don’t need to walk miles for fresh water. Tesco deliver, as do all the other supermarkets.

I also wouldn’t drive the van, but I’d call a taxi.

You're an adult. Why would you need people to check in with you just because your partner's away? If one of my friends chose to live in a isolated home, I would assume they were doing so because they were comfortable with that. You're not ill or anything.

Also, I personally don't keep a note of when my friends' husbands are working away just on the off-chance that they might want company. There are bigger and more important things in other people's lives than their friends' personal domestic arrangements.

A week on my own housebound with full cupboards sounds like heaven to me!!

The 'pop round for a cuppa' is too vague. Message a friend and invite them to lunch tomorrow.

I think for friends I don’t message every day I might say something like “I’m going stir crazy here! Are you free for a coffee before I start talking to the walls!

I think it's better to be specific if you'd like company (and I definitely would in your situation). So something like an invitation to lunch/dinner at yours on a specific day, meeting someone at a specific time/place, etc. I would normally expect to proactively set these up myself, though, rather than waiting for a friend to do it.

I'm with you on not wanting to drive a lhd van. But as you're rural and lonely, I would have hired a car for a few days so I could get about easily.

Agree my friends would be laughing at the fact I was running round in a van.

You have food in and are safe. You are not housebound like an elderly or disabled person. Sounds idyllic. If I was a friend I probably would not have checked up on you either.

Just drive the van. It's not as if you don't know the roads and can take your time

You do sound a bit sorry for yourself.