Completely shafted over in the christmas rota

[Mysticcatmum]

I work in a call centre

Everyone has to work 2 out of the 3 bank holidays, I put in my preferred date of Xmas off

I have been scheduled to work Xmas day, new years eve and day

I then have the parents of toddlers asking me to cover their Christmas eve shifts as I am 'childless'. I have found out that the same people do infact have off Xmas day

Apologies, more of a rant but AIBU to be sick of the mentality of 'christmas is for kids'?! Despite me adoring the holiday

Maybe i should have stated we aren’t a big care provider, and actually our team is made up of mums with young children, mums with older/grown up children and the younger generation of 19-23 who (our staff) actually prefer to have new years off and not Christmas. So yeah for us it does work…..for many years because we don’t have a high turnover of staff. Clearly wouldn’t work for all, there has been times like I have said that due to personal circumstances things have been altered it didn’t solely come down to children.

Well, that's convenient for your workplace that everyone fits into such neat demographics and requirements.
As I've said already, though, I'm talking about the general principle.

It just happens to be that way, probably because of the flexible working hours around children which is why I originally went into the industry as a carer. So yes for us it works. And I agree with you, that in the grand scheme of things it’s not like that in all workplaces. So yes I am very lucky. Thank you for highlighting how my posts came across in a nice manner as that actually wasn’t my intention like I’ve mentioned and I’m sure I could have worded all posts better.

That aside, as my original post to original poster it’s not fair she’s been put down to work both the Christmas and new year period regardless what people’s circumstances are and reasons why they’d prefer to do Christmas over new years or new years over Christmas it’s not fair having to be working both. OP you need to speak to management, any good management will be fair, listen and be understanding regardless on your personal reasons to which of the two you’d prefer to work.

where does it say her colleagues have assumed that?
If anything OP is the one who doesn't seem to have read her contract, as she was told everyone has to work 2 BH's over the festive period but is complaining about....working 2 BH's over the festive period.

Nowhere does it say that any of her colleagues have moaned about the BH's THEY have been allocated - only that someone has asked her to cover Christmas Eve (which isn't a bank holiday). Which she can just say no to.

The people with children who want to be prioritised for the Christmas bank holiday and now asking OP to swap the Christmas Eve. I read between the lines of what the OP has said that parents have been prioritised for Christmas so apologise if that’s wrong, but what else is OP complaining about being “shafted”.

I mean I expect everyone requested Christmas Day as first priority but the subsequent discussion has shown that some parents expect it.

Actually in my work place that is exactly the case, we aren’t a huge company, and actually we only do have carers that are parents with younger children, carers that are parents of older grown up children and younger carers who prefer to go out partying on New Year’s Eve. That’s probably due to the hours and flexibility being a home carer allows, it’s hours that carers can choose as in around schools, nursery hours etc, and every other weekend, they choose their availability. And young carers who are studying so can work around college and uni. So yes in our place of work this works. It wasn’t originally expected from management it was originally the carers that choice this because they also cared for each other. And no we don’t only hire people who are parents or the young who like to celebrate new years it’s just how it’s happened and who has applied for jobs over the years. We haven’t a quick turn around of staff and tend to stay for many years. There is always room for exceptions or other considerations and others circumstances. Only actual rule to ensure people still receive the care during holiday periods is they put in their preferences but they have to work one or the other. If either can not be covered it ultimately comes down to availability on their availability form. But like I said it works for our team due to the members we have in our team.

I agree with this. I remember working somewhere where the "longer term" staff told all new starters about the "unwritten rule" of people with young children working new years and the younger staff working Christmas so those with kids could have Christmas day off. Some newer staff weren't happy with this, wanting Christmas off even though they were childfree and not caring about new years but finding it hard to put this across as they were told "its the rule" and shot down, told this is the way "it has been for years" and made to feel awkward and guilt tripped

Anyway when I started and it came to light that not everyone liked this, a new manager started who basically said scrap "the rule" and allocated Christmas based on who hadnt worked it last year. A lot of moaning and complaining and threats to quit, but it worked... That year and years after were all done fairly.

Now everywhere I go, and I am in charge or rotas, I am very mindful to not let people be swayed or try and bring in unwritten rules.

Now a days, my experience is I'm finding younger staff dont bother going out at new years and everyone would volunteer to have Christmas off and work new year as they take more pleasure in Christmas eve/day than new years eve/day whether they are older/younger/have kids or dont have kids.

They might take pleasure in it and Christmas is a special day for everyone. But young kids are only young kids for a very short window of time. Missing Christmas with young kids is a big deal. it’s not the only big deal but it’s up there.

Everyone seems so ready to jump on parents for being “entitled” but wouldn’t it be nice just to be nice sometimes and recognise that a child would be upset missing a parent on Christmas Day & help someone out. Most of us will have young kids at some point.
Instead people jump on insisting on their own entitlements. And yes I get it to a point.

Parents are not the only ones capable of being unreasonable.

I don’t think the OP in these circumstances is being unreasonable btw.

I don’t understand the argument that kids are only young for a short period. It’s not really. It’s years. Lots of individual christmases.

2019 turned out to be the lost special Christmas for my kids. Even though they were 10 and 17. Because 2020 was pretty much a write off and my mum died in 2021.

Maybe adults realise that their parents or older relatives won’t be around forever and each one could be their last. Why is that less important than a child’s Christmas?

Christmas is important to lots of people. Measuring it based on age of relatives surely means anyone with older relatives, has priority. Really we can’t measure priority on the age of relatives or how they will feel. There’s no way to work that out so it’s fair.

My Dad was in the Police. Sometimes he was home and sometimes he wasn’t. It was never upsetting if he couldn’t be there for the morning or evening. It was his job. My Dad is now 70 and we are incredibly close and he is really close to my kids. It’s not caused any problems that he wasn’t there sometimes for Christmas.

Do people with elderly parents get the same flexible working hours.

But even if things are completely fair and parents aren't prioritised at all, OP 'should' still be working 2 out of every 3 Christmas Day's.

There is literally nothing in OP's post to suggest she didn't get Christmas day off because she doesn't have kids. It could have been completely random, it could have been because she's new, it could have been because she didn't work it last year so it's her turn this year, it could have been because she was one of the last to put her request in. Who knows?

Because so many people have asked and OP hasn't responded, I think it's fair to assume that it's not the case that she's on the rota for CD for the third or fourth year in a row (which would be unfair, and would be a case of getting 'shafted'), and this is probably her first year with the service - she sounds like she assumed when initially told she had to work 2 out of 3 of the BH's she could pick which ones she did, and (somewhat short sightedly) didn't realise that the vast majority of people would want Christmas Day off so it was unlikely that she would get it.

The fact that other staff are asking her to cover Christmas Eve is a completely different thing and not the fault of the management doing the rota (other than if it becomes too much OP should ask them to step in, as I said in earlier posts). She can absolutely say no to them.

What she can't do (at least if she wants to keep her job) is say 'No' to working the BHs she's been allocated when there is no evidence at all that she's been treated any less fairly than anyone else. She hasn't been 'shafted' until she's worked 3 Christmas Day's in a row, and even then the service could justify it if needed - for example if enough of the people whose turn it 'should' have been to work CD that year take the advice of the geniuses on this thread and quit last minute so they have no option other than to make the remaining staff cover it.

agree with this. "No kids" or "younger" doesn't automatically equal "party animal!"

Besides which what happens when the "no kids" twenty-five year olds age up into being 40 year olds - do the initial "older" people (now in their fifties with adult aged kids) go back to being NY partiers and let the younger people have their turn? Or will they still expect to have CD off because they've got so used to it?

Let’s be honest, every question and every possible scenario of people’s possible circumstances surrounding Christmas could be asked, I shared my own experiences as in my own work place, a workplace which is a small care provider, where it’s just happened that we only have mums of young children and mums of older grown up children and young carers that are working around their studying, as they are the ones that the usual flexibility of hours appeals to them (and no we don’t discriminate it’s just that they are the ones that have applied for jobs). So what I was saying in my place of work it works nicely we don’t have issues that I imagine other companies may have when covering work over the xmas and new year period. Reality is especially in certain work sectors not everyone can have the time off whether they have children or not, whether they have to travel distance to be with family or whether they have elderly relatives or any other possible personal situations. It’s about being as fair as possible and for the op working both holidays is not fair. I was just pointing out that at our work we do have a system that works, one set by the carers themselves because they are a team and tbh wanna help each other, that doesn’t mean no one would prioritise for other reasons other than children (this has been done) it’s just that at our place it is made up of mums and young ones who still enjoy partying New Year’s Eve resulting in hanging the next day. Showing that not all parents who do get Christmas off to be with their kids get it off because they are all self entitled and demand it, some are just lucky to work in an environment that their colleagues who have been in similar position enable it to work. I may feel it’s important for children to have their parents home Xmas morning because that was important for me but that doesn’t mean I don’t value that others won’t feel it’s important for them to have Christmas off themselves nor do I think it automatically makes mums with children a given that they should have it off over another’s important personal reason to have it off themselves. It was solely that there are places it works without others being unhappy.

I’m very sorry about your mum. I was referring to situations of ill relatives etc when I said not the only.

Im glad that was your experience re your dad growing up but I know that my 6 year old would be very upset if I missed him opening his Santa presents and so would I. I can’t move the date, he knows when Christmas is.

You have 7 children there is no way that at least some of your colleugues didnt do an eye roll when you said you were pregnant for the fourth, fifth , sixth time

I get it that people like to be with there young children at Xmas, but if your in a job that is open 24/7 365 days of the year unfortunately its the nature of the beast , that bank holidays you may have to work, just because some one does not have children people assume it's OK for them not be at home and work instead, infact it is though they are discriminating the very fact no kids you work,but those with children get Xmas day,Easter so on holidays off. I would say ever so sorry but no, due to me having to work I'm celebrating Xmas day on Christmas eve instead .

@BeWittyRobin you don’t have to defend yourself so much you’re entitled to your opinion. You obviously have a plan in your workplace that works I’m quite sure someone with elderly parents could have a quiet word and that be taken into consideration too. Years ago I came on here talking about working on Christmas Day (I didn’t want to, I was the only person with a child on that rota AND had worked something like 7 out of the previous 9 Christmas days) a number of people still piled on and told me how selfish and unreasonable I was (you know the phrase ‘When someone shows you who they really are believe them’ 😉) A few years later when we were all a bit older I worked with someone who made a massive deal about being a carer every time anyone mentioned any kind of commitment or wish to have a day off we were all subjected to a lecture about her caring responsibilities, she would follow me around half the day going on about Fred and John and how no one considered her caring responsibilities. So of course we were all hugely sympathetic and she got out of doing almost everything. Turns out her caring responsibilities were doing a bit of shopping and taking around the odd meal for her husbands aunt, (her husband was self employed working from home 90% of the time) oh how we laughed when we realised just how well she had played us.
The issue in this workplace seems to be that they just randomly sprinkle the days on and so a lot of the time you work both. I wonder how common that is. I have been quite lucky in spending most of the time working in smaller organisations where people get organised and almost universally the choice is working either Christmas or New Year (or time off) I havn’t read every comment but it did sound like that might work better for the OP.

It’s a shame you child would be upset. But that not for everyone else to work around and accommodate.

If your child would be upset that’s an issue for you and your husband to work through. Not for other people to prioritise your Christmas over their own. Especially for the duration of your child’s life until you feel he is no longer ‘young’. Either your husband doesn’t do a job that requires Christmas working or you prepare your child well in advance.

😂😂😂 I am sure they did and I’m sure eyes were rolled so much they gave themselves a headache, just the same as my own parents will have, but that is rather irrelevant the reason I said how many children I have was to make a point I myself have worked Christmas Day so I’m not self entitled to think my needs of having it off to be with my children is greater than members of my staff who wished to have it off whether for reasons of having a child/ren at home or for other reasons other posters have mentioned. But I understand from a parents point of view doesn’t mean I’m oblivious to others desires to want it off.

Why so heartless?

Why are people only like this when it comes to children?

My child will only be a young child visited by Father Christmas for a short few years that isn’t a feeling that is a statement of fact.

There are lots is situations where those that are more vulnerable are prioritised in life.

People see it as a parent’s entitlement rather than a child’s need. Or the do see it as a child’s need and they simply don’t care, downplay it, insist it’s not important. Adults can still have a lovely meal together on another day during the Christmas period, Father Christmas only comes on Christmas Day.

Giving a child the gift a parent being present on Christmas morning is truly the spirit a Christmas. A ruthless I don’t have to prioritise others, I have needs too isn’t.

Yea this

Thank you at @jandalsinsummer i know and I’m disappointed in myself to have felt the need to defend my opinions so much quite sad really haha 😂

This is it, we have a well organised system in place that works for the members of staff we have, and it was originally to point out it can work. But clearly like you’ve also said, if she’s working both and unhappy then she needs to speak to someone to try get it sorted x

No. It’s not heartless to believe you don’t have to prioritise other people’s children every Christmas.

Its heartless to believe your Christmas is more important than other people’s based on the fact that you have a child that still believes in Father Christmas.

I have an adult child and a mid teen. I can tell you Christmas is just as lively and just as special when your kids don’t believe in Santa anymore.

It is entitlement to believe an adult can take a job that includes Christmas working and have every other adult doing the same job, prioritise you and your children’s enjoyment of Christmas over their own, every year.

No, having a parent there to hand over the a gift isn’t the spirit of Christmas. Are you suggesting people who don’t have kids don’t get to enjoy the spirit of Christmas? People who don’t have parents don’t?

The ruthless ‘I don’t have to prioritise anyone else’s Christmas’ is coming from people like you. You believe your enjoyment of Christmas should be treated as high priority than other people’s.

If being at home every Christmas while your child is young. Then don’t do a job that involves Christmas Day working.

I have worked pretty much every other Christmas since my kids (now teens ) were toddlers and my husband has also worked a number of them...it is what it is in the industry we work in

I think its down to parents to manage kids expectations. My kids have never been upset at me working...we have either got up super early to open a couple of presents before I go to work or father Christmas has even done something really special as he knew mum was working and dropped them off early on Christmas eve and we have opened them then.

We always made it exciting if this had to happen and never about how sad it was mum or dad had to work. My kids understood mum had to look after poorly people and Christmas went on at home and we had an extra Christmas dinner maybe with another couple of presents and family and games when I had a day off later in the week

Its down to parents to manage this with their kids, not expecting colleagues to pick up the shifts and put their plans on hold for years

That’s great you found a way to work it out that worked for you, and it’s great that your kids understood that you looked after poorly people.

I don’t think giving parents priority should be a policy in a work place, but I find the attitude towards kids from a lot of people hugely disappointing. It’s nice to help people out sometimes but people seem to become inflamed with rage when it’s suggested that’s extended to kids.