Completely shafted over in the christmas rota

[Mysticcatmum]

I work in a call centre

Everyone has to work 2 out of the 3 bank holidays, I put in my preferred date of Xmas off

I have been scheduled to work Xmas day, new years eve and day

I then have the parents of toddlers asking me to cover their Christmas eve shifts as I am 'childless'. I have found out that the same people do infact have off Xmas day

Apologies, more of a rant but AIBU to be sick of the mentality of 'christmas is for kids'?! Despite me adoring the holiday

Are you an adult? Do your parents have to wait until you go to sleep to play Santa? Do they then eagerly await your excited face in the morning?

That's what makes your Christmas special, not everyone's. It doesn't make you right.

Everyone deserves fairness when it comes to time off at Christmas, regardless of their family make up.

I think it’s fair according to the rota system for one year. Obviously I’d say no to the people asking you to do Christmas Eve, I like the idea of saying sure if I can swap for Christmas Day, it really sucks having to work Christmas Day.
sit down with your manager and say it feels like I got a rough deal this year, for this rota system to be fair I expect to get Christmas off next year. Can you guarantee me that? (How much do you need the job- if you can save up to do without it I think I’d quit a few days before Christmas next year if they scheduled me for it again.)

Definitely. I work in a 24/7 role but luckily my colleagues believe in doing things fairly, so we all get a good break at some point.

but if the contract is for everyone to work 2 out of 3 BH every year, then statistically, if done fairly, everyone is going to be working Christmas Day every 2 out of 3 years....if she asks for every other year off she will be the one expecting special treatment, not the parents. It only becomes unfair if she is rota'd for 3 years in a row.

I don't think she has been given a particularly rough deal, it sounds like the manager has tried to make sure that if people work Christmas Day they get at least Christmas Eve or Boxing day off, and OP has both. She could have been rota'd on for CE, CD and BD and it still wouldn't have been 'more' than the agreed amount.

Even if she is given it off next year, so works BD and NYD instead, then it will be her turn to work CD and BD the year after (and will no doubt moan about that being even worse than this shift). And then CD and NYD again the next year (and will moan about having to do two CD's in a row). Yes it's shit, but this is the job she signed up for.

if you can save up to do without it I think I’d quit a few days before Christmas next year if they scheduled me for it again.
Again - who do you think SHOULD be answering your calls if the worst happens and you need to call the emergency services over Christmas, if you are actively encouraging 999 call handlers to quit and leave them in the lurch? If something happens to your family member and an ambulance doesn't get dispatched in time because there's nobody to take the call, will you be glad you've made that suggestion?

How about the paramedics, and then when you get to the hospital the doctors and nurses, should they all quit because it's not fair to work Christmas too?

Well last Chrismas was pretty special for me thinking back. It was the last one with my dad (although we didnt know it at the time) as he died last month. Told us he had prostate cancer in May and died in an accident at home after falling down while trying to get upstairs. So last Christmas was special and no kids involved apart from grown up ones

Do you know fucking what. I wish i could go back to the early 80s to that time. Cos then id have my dad back.

I’ve worked many many Christmas days and so has dh although luckily not often have we both had to work the same ones IYSWIM and certainly pre-kids I would far rather have worked Christmas or New Year (or even both) and then had one completely off. Working Boxing Day and NYE or vice versa is just a PITA. When the kids were small and we were both doing this it became more important to try and both not be working the same time on the same day due to no childcare. Christmas Eve is just another day on the rota unfortunately but almost always swappable for NYE the parents just need to find the party people at work (and in a 999 call centre there is even more reason to avoid NYE I’m sure!) we were quite lucky often if you organise and discuss early enough you can find a workable solution and present it to those in charge.

I worked in care and also a manager. I also have 7 children.

Carers were required to work either Christmas period or the new year period. The way I always saw it, and so did my co workers, those with children (young children not adult children) were priority to have Christmas period off, as in Christmas Day but worked the new year period. And those younger carers who didn’t have children and those older carers who had grown up children and had their time at home when their children were younger repaid the same courtesy to those who had younger children and worked the Christmas period and had new year period off which is what the majority preferred anyways. Also Christmas Day were shorter shifts so no one was working the whole day and still got time with their families.

For you working both holiday periods is unfair, but I do think those with children should have first dibs on Christmas Day off especially the morning. I may be met with a flood of disagreement but young children should be able to enjoy opening their presents with their parents Christmas morning.

I am so sorry for your loss, @JenniferBooth - cancer is a bastard. And I agree completely with you - Christmas with kids is NOT the only special or worth-while Christmas - @Sundownmemories is perfectly entitled to believe it is - that's her opinion - but she is not entitled to expect her opinion to dictate what everyone else believes about Christmas.

This!

Or if you feel generous you could ask them to take your NYD rather than Xmas day so you get two of the bank holidays off.

Or just say no to it all together, that’s perfectly reasonable too.

I do think it’s unreasonable for people to take a job that involves potentially working on the bank holidays and assuming it won’t apply to them (as your colleagues have).

But many people prefer Christmas even if they don't have kids. I'm child-free and haven't celebrated NYE for decades, but I do do Christmas. I'm definitely not alone. Many people have families and friends who like to have Christmas together but aren't arsed about or do something else for New Year. Why may we not be permitted to have this time because our preferences don't fit someone else's idea of what holidays people like or should lik?

I appreciate that you're talking about your own workplace, and I'm going to assume that everyone WAS happy with the arrangement, as you say they were, but looking at the bigger picture, younger people without children may not have children for sad reasons like infertility or loss; can you imagine saying to them that people with young children had priority for Christmas Day off? Practically, too, (and this has been covered but bears repeating), often younger people are going 'home' ie to a parental home for the Christmas period, and if you can't travel on Christmas Eve or Day because you're using public transport, or can't face the Christmas Eve traffic or whatever, you'd end up missing out.
Older people with grown-up children, too, might have elderly parents who don't have many Christmases left. Again, imagine saying to them that someone with a child took priority over their (e.g.) mother with dementia who wasn't likely to live past February.

And those younger carers who didn’t have children and those older carers who had grown up children and had their time at home when their children were younger repaid the same courtesy to those who had younger children

Are these the only two options, then? Not old enough to have had kids but will benefit from the courtesy when they do, and older parents repaying the courtesy they received?

No childless not by choice or childfree people in your workplace, then? People who've not received any courtesy but are nonetheless expected to sacrifice every Christmas forevermore so that all their coworkers' (current and future) kids can open presents with their parents?

using your logic, you think that you have more right to be at home at xmas because you have children, than someone who does not. where is the line for you? someone who would sit alone because there's not enough time for them to be able to travel to see their family and make it back in time for work? someone who would miss out on xmas with a parent or family member who is ill and unlikely to see another year?

i'm so glad the people i work with aren't like this.

I think it depends on the job, I was referring to my experience working in the care sector as home carers where our elderly needs care regardless whether it’s Christmas Day. Therefore when hiring it is explained with regards to Christmas Day etc. That was a system that was deemed the best for all at our workplace and actually was started because of our older carers with grown up children wished for those with younger children to be able to spend Christmas Day with their young children like those older generation carers when their children were young did for them. It’s actually in most carers contracts in many companies that they are required to work either the Christmas period or new year period also holidays can not be booked (something high yet management instilled) but that’s the role, care doesn’t stop because it’s Christmas. And as a last resort if all calls aren’t covered unfortunately it goes to carers all year availability. (Although we’ve never had to do that because we are a team). Obviously I’m not talking about a call centre, I’ve never had experience in that sector I was posting my experience in my field to say it’s not uncommon and it’s one or the other, certainly not fair the poster doing both!
As for my carers, they all know I am approachable and understand personal circumstances I myself have family miles away due to growing up with my dad in the military and understand those whose families are not local. It was not saying it has to be solely those with children who has the right to have that day off and those only it was saying what works with our team. I’ve an amazing thoughtful team. I myself covered Christmas Day for few years all by myself despite having young children myself so all were happy those that have young children had it off and those who are young themselves and have no children had their New Year’s Eve and day off so they could go out and celebrate. So it never came down to individuals availability.
I am also lucky because our team are made up of mostly mums with either young or grown up children and young people who want to go out drinking and celebrating new years, so there is never an issue apart from the few years that myself went out and covered Christmas Day so I could have those mums stay at home with their children.
its not always so clear cut I understand that, there are many individual variables that should be considered but like I said I was talking from my experience and perspective. And the way our care company do things and the system has been mutually agreed and originally started by the carers themselves works and I stand by young children should have their parents Christmas morning to open their presents if that is doable.

Yes, we know you were talking from your own experience and perspective. I acknowledged that in my reply.
However, you also said 'I do think those with children should have first dibs on Christmas Day off especially the morning… young children should be able to enjoy opening their presents with their parents Christmas morning', which reads to me like you're expressing your general position and not just talking about your own workplace.

I'm 40 years old and couldn't give a toss about new years. I do care about being with my family at Christmas. But according to you that's irrelevant.

This is why we have issues in workplaces.

Im child free by choice and have always preferred Christmas. ive always found New Year depressing I hate it

Is this your first year? Christmas day and new year's day means you are working 2/3 of the bank holidays so I don't think you can complain if this is your first year. But next year you should get different days and can complain if going forward you are always rota'd to work on Christmas day.

Sorry @MarkWithaC i may have quoted my lengthly response to you rather the other posted, I apologise 🙈. You are right you did acknowledge it from my experience.

Absolutely I completely understand what you are saying and I do agree despite what occurs in our workplace. This arrangement in our workplace was actually set up originally by the carers themselves those who once had younger children who had those carers who’s children had grown up cover Christmas Day care calls so they could be at home and they then when they became in that position themselves wanted to do that for the next generation of parents. It prevented covering the care calls coming down with individuals availability so all actually were happy. Now was there times when others covered Christmas Day for circumstances outside having children at home Xmas day absolutely.

So yes there are undoubtedly many many factors to be considered and maybe I should have stated that and personally I would consider those always, as every good manager and workplace should, like you said there are so many individual circumstances and situations. I did say that I personally feel that children should have their parents at home at least Christmas morning to open their presents, that’s my opinion but obvs if this is doable but that’s not to say I don’t think that others will have their own reasons nor are they not important. If a member of my care team came to me without children who required to have Christmas Day off but happy to cover new years I wouldnt put someone with children above them to have it off. Luckily that’s only happened 3 years out of my 15years in care and I gave them both it off and covered the whole day myself, because I’d rather be the one who can’t be at home with my children than one of my team and in same breathe the others who’s reason was not due to having young children but to be with their family due to the situations they were in. I suppose in the care industry (and I don’t doubt in others also) there has to be understanding for all from everyone. Not everyone can have it off, care has to be covered regardless of anyone’s situation so suppose there has to be a cut off point hence I’d go out myself. In our place of work we’ve a very good system that works that the carers first established.

Just say no

Well, there seems to be quite a lack of understanding from a few people on this thread (although it's always interesting to me that, when these threads come round every year, the vast majority of people with children don't agree with people with children being privileged.)

I wonder if it's possible/likely that there are other child-free members of your care team who would like Christmas Day off but don't come to you because the arrangement your company has come to has created a culture where they don't feel, being child-free, that they can ask for it. Or that they might be guilt-tripped about it by those with children, or people might sulk or throw tantrums etc as people on this thread have related.
This is why I am so firm that time off at Christmas absolutely HAS to simply be distributed fairly in the first place, as a directive from management, with no differentiation made between those with and those without kids and with no informal, as-and-when-it-comes-up arrangements.

It’s not irrelevant. And I have read back to see where I’ve said it’s irrelevant to which I can’t see but I apologise if that’s how it came across.

I was talking about in my experience, ultimately our team and what works for us. It’s a team made of mostly mums, mums with older children and mums with younger children and some of the younger generation with no children that do want to be out on New Year’s Eve…… so for us it works and that’s the carers primary focus when requesting which of the holidays they work.