Has anyone else stop organising stuff...

[hby9628]

....not essential stuff like shopping/school uniform etc but things like tickets to events. Couple of examples,l....

friendship group &there is an event coming up soon that someone has suggested we go to. Some uptake but I know that if I don't book tickets it won't happen

DH needs to send a parcel. It's been packaged up ready to go for a week. I know if I don't sent it then it will continue to sit there. I'm going to see how long that takes.

I'm bored of organising stuff for other people. Anyone else feel similar? I'm aware there's a strong possibility I'm just being grumpy.

@Puddypuds I think that's another reason that set me off on this path...we had a weekend away with the kids and I have booked some fun things and they did enjoy them in the end but it just felt hard work trying to get them enthused. I wouldn't mind but it was stuff they wanted to do! I've told them I'm not planning stuff anymore. Just see what happens.

I'm really selfish now and it's fabulous. I recommend it whole heartingly

the parcel has left the building.

😂

Maybe the people who never organise anything just got to that point before all us ex-organisers did, and we’re simply following in their footsteps 😄 sad to do everything alone though!

Op I took a big step back as always me planning it. One is tight with money so I wont pay stuff upfront now.. yeh you do get tired of it. Seems be same ones organising it

@WhatASadLittleLifeJayne haha yes that's probably what's happened
Maybe we should have our own unorganised social group! I'm not organising it though.

The expectation is there because you, like me, always do it. You need to step back in order for others to step up is what I noticed. And if they don't step up, well then they don't and they will have to live with the consequences.

I agree Maria its because we do it. My friend said you better at reaching out mary. I said no someone else can do it plan next thing. We all busy

DH stopped asking me questions like that after I started very politely and calmly replying with "You have access to the same information/Google that I have."

Will it rain tomorrow?
What time does DS's football match start?
What time do we need to leave to get to XYZ?
Do we have any Diet Coke in the fridge?

All get the same answer.

Oh yes, the people who will complain about what you've organised but can't even manage it themselves. I've had a few of those over the years.

I also gush profusely if someone organises something too. DH is pretty good, thank goodness.

I wouldn't.

Twenty years ago I loved organising meals out with big groups of friends, but got fed up constantly have to rearrange the date when someone said they could no longer make it due to x, y, z.

last year I did organise one event but made it clear that if anyone needed to cancel then they had to contact the venue directly at least 48 hours before otherwise I would be charged a no show fee.

no one asked to change the date and no one cancelled.

this year someone else has organised and has been asked to change the date twice already by people who never organise the annual catch up

Ooh yes I hear you. I started doing this ages ago. I remember DP asking me where something was and I said 'don't know' and he muttered 'of course you don't'! Objective achieved 🤣.

I was told by family members that there was no expectation on me to be the organiser/take control etc at all. Evidently they didn't appreciate and value all the work I would put in. Fabulous, I stopped doing any of it.

Sadly though I felt I couldn't rely on anyone and found it quite upsetting for a while. I decided to not be reliable and available either, it's interesting how people's attitude changed and they became more considerate. When you've tried to say something and you're dismissed it isn't nice. Luckily my children are now older and I know I can rely on them (as they me).

I’m the organiser in our house and I’m gradually doing less now that DH has been retired for a while. For example, I have always done all the birthday and Xmas gift shopping, now we go together and it’s getting more split. I used to decide what we’d have for dinner and cook it, now he takes his turn. I’m also backing off from doing all the holiday organising and doing less, the only downside of me doing less is that DH has been known to book hotels I wouldn’t book, I guess after 30+ years of marriage there’s still work for me to do 😂

I used to be the one who kept in contact with his side of the family, he now does it much more than I do.

Small steps.