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Asked not to wear a Rolex to work…

407 replies

Hydrangeajp · 04/11/2024 17:22

I've been with my current company for several years in a senior legal role, managing a team. The company's struggling lately - redundancies, pay freezes, and bonus cuts. My own manager recently left, and their replacement (board level), joined last week. After a positive initial face-to-face meet, she scheduled a meeting later that week about the Rolex watch she noticed me wearing into the office.

She told me it was inappropriate and insensitive, given both my seniority and the company’s current situation, and ultimately requested that I stop wearing it to work. She essentially said that "most senior staff already know to avoid wearing expensive, flashy items to work”.

I’ve had this watch for years and wear it daily. I’ve never given it any thought and would think most people wouldn’t even notice it's a Rolex. Am I the completely deluded and inappropriate one here? I was so taken aback and put on the spot that I simply agreed not to wear it, but since then I can't stop thinking I should’ve stood my ground (not because I’m desperate to wear the watch, rather, the whole ask felt excessive and inappropriate?) WWYD? I’d really appreciate an honest outsider’s perspective.

OP posts:
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6
Janedoe82 · 05/11/2024 19:53

ArtInTheMediumOfTurnip · 05/11/2024 18:48

I think she must be jealous. Why else would she notice/care?

@Hydrangeajp this is exactly what I think. I bet it's something like she feels that she should (as your superior) be wearing or be able to afford (or more like be willing to spend that money) a luxury watch. She resents the fact that someone junior to her has a better watch than her.

and in her mad jealous world thinks it would look better for her if you stopped wearing it.

on any view it is a mental thing to say to an employee. and its only because she's registered that it is a Rolex. There are many more watches that are far far more expensive that I bet she'd never realise were 'luxury'.

I find the whole ‘must be jealous’ argument silly. I honestly think the manager is just a humble sort who doesn’t want to rub obvious wealth in the faces of people on possibly low wages- admin/ office staff etc when they are already faced with the cost of living crisis and now redundancy. It is all about optics!! Something the other senior managers seem to have grasped!

DancingNotDrowning · 05/11/2024 22:31

We’ve got nothing to go on to suggest she’s either humble or jealous.

I've certainly had at least one manager who has been very put out that I was far better off than they were.

tooface · 05/11/2024 22:56

If i saw someone wearing the Hope diamond i would be in awe and want to touch it.

I love coloured diamonds.

ArtInTheMediumOfTurnip · 05/11/2024 23:17

We’ve got nothing to go on to suggest she’s either humble or jealous.

I think the fact she's noticed it (itself odd in an office context) and the fact she's seen fit to mention it both speak of keeping an eye out on what others have and jealousy.

It's a very odd thing to mention at all.

TheRealSlimShandy · 06/11/2024 06:01

Get yourself a huge collection of 1980s Pop Swatches. Wear a different one every day.

Asked not to wear a Rolex to work…
SpunkyKoala · 06/11/2024 06:14

I couldn’t tell you what colour shirt my boss wore yesterday I certainly couldn’t tell you what kind of watch he wears I don’t even know if he does wear one tbh

SpunkyKoala · 06/11/2024 06:15

I’d be more concerned about the view on company spending than private spends tbh someone getting a brand new jag company car while redundancy is on the table would certainly be something I would comment on

milveycrohn · 06/11/2024 06:42

The weird thing about this is that some people (myself) would not have noticed.
I am totally indfferent to expensive watches.

user1492757084 · 08/11/2024 06:59

Meet again to revisit the issue.
Simply say you were blindsided and, now that you have thought about it, say you are reneging on the agreement.

You've owned it and worn it for many years.
Most work mates have seen you wearing it.
There is no clause to stop you.
You don't think it is an issue with staff.

Other showy items such as.. new shoes, glasses, handbags, cars, jewellery etc are replaced much more often than a watch which is worn for decades... is there any policy on wearing those.

Oldestfortnitebloke · 08/11/2024 07:04

Whoever responded to the "is this a wind up"....
Top work. Spat my coffee out!

OldScribbler · 08/11/2024 07:15

lasagnelle · 04/11/2024 17:31

I'm amazed they scheduled a meeting about this. I do understand their point kind of but also it's none of their business.

No wonder the business is in trouble if that's what they worry about. Morons.

Beccaboo0979 · 08/11/2024 07:51

My point would be, 'I've had this for years, everyone here has seen me wear this dor years."

Would it not be more inappropriate to go out and buy a new watch? Surely 'that' would ne noticed.

ForgottenPalace · 08/11/2024 07:57

HecatesBees · 04/11/2024 17:26

You're in a "senior legal role" and you are here asking for advice? I dont wish to be rude, but surely you know the best way forward here?

(edit, missed the word way )

Edited

My point exactly.

ForgottenPalace · 08/11/2024 07:58

milveycrohn · 06/11/2024 06:42

The weird thing about this is that some people (myself) would not have noticed.
I am totally indfferent to expensive watches.

Same.

Sunburstclocklover · 08/11/2024 08:18

Gummybear23 · 04/11/2024 17:44

Not worth it.
Start wearing primark clothes to work.
Coupled with cheap jewellerly.

I thought lawyers were expected to look reassuringly expensive for the clients!

Sunburstclocklover · 08/11/2024 08:27

TBF I think she's in panic made and has realised the task ahead is beyond her. She is a rearrange the deckchairs sort of person. Busy work, micromanaging and does absolutely sweet FA!

dottiedodah · 08/11/2024 08:50

I realise it has sentimental value for you.However in the present climate it could be seen as insensitive .Also surely its not sensible to take it to work as it could get lost or damaged .Maybe keep for home use

MauveLeader · 08/11/2024 09:01

Yes you are coming across as entitled and totally out of touch . I admire her perception.

ElaborateCushion · 08/11/2024 09:17

arinya · 04/11/2024 17:25

I would be taken aback too. I’ve previously worked with junior colleagues who have more expensive clothes, jewellery and cars than I do 😆

Yup. One of my members of staff earns £45k yet drives a 74 plate Tesla and lives in a house worth over £1m. I drive a 7 year old BMW and my house is worth a lot less.

I don't tell him not to drive his car to work because it'll make the others feel bad!

Just because business might be tough now, it doesn't mean it always has been. The watch could have also been a gift or a fake.

I'd start wearing it again and if it's mentioned again have a pre-prepared phrase:

"Yes, I am wearing it again. You caught me by surprise when you mentioned it and I know I agreed not to wear it, but I've thought about it a bit more and have decided to wear it as it's very special to me. You wouldn't ask someone to stop wearing their wedding ring, just because it's a bit blingy would you?? HR would have a field day with that, ha ha!"

Fizbosshoes · 08/11/2024 09:27

TheRealSlimShandy · 06/11/2024 06:01

Get yourself a huge collection of 1980s Pop Swatches. Wear a different one every day.

I wow, I remember i desperately wanted one of these when I was about 12!

JimPanzee · 08/11/2024 09:29

dottiedodah · 08/11/2024 08:50

I realise it has sentimental value for you.However in the present climate it could be seen as insensitive .Also surely its not sensible to take it to work as it could get lost or damaged .Maybe keep for home use

surely its not sensible to take it to work as it could get lost or damaged

She's a lawyer working in an office, not working down the bloody mines FFS 🙄

JaceLancs · 08/11/2024 09:34

I would refuse to stop wearing it as where does it stop
I have 3 very expensive watches and lots of bling, but I drive the oldest car of any of my work force, I go on numerous holidays but prioritise that over takeaways, going to the pub, and am not bothered about home improvements

Growlybear83 · 08/11/2024 09:34

dottiedodah · 08/11/2024 08:50

I realise it has sentimental value for you.However in the present climate it could be seen as insensitive .Also surely its not sensible to take it to work as it could get lost or damaged .Maybe keep for home use

What's the point in owning something that you love and not using it, whatever it's value? I wear my late mother's engagement ring and never take it off - I would be devastated if I lost it, but I love it and it's a constant reminder of her. It's not much good sitting in a drawer out of sight.

Dinkydo12 · 08/11/2024 09:58

Sounds like she is jealous i would wear it. If she challenges you again just speak to HR. Maybe you could check your rights by looking at your contract of employment. What car does she drive perhaps that's inappropriate.

GoldenPheasant · 08/11/2024 10:00

I never understand the point of wearing very expensive watches anyway. It's like carrying a big flashing sign inviting thieves to mug you.

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