Friend asking for dog food 'compensation'

[dogbiscuitsareforlife]

What do you make of this.

One of my school mum friends, (I'll call her Mary) has a dog and we often bump into each other out for dog walks and walk along together. Not super close, but chatty and friendly

Last week Mary told me she had been let down by a dog sitter for a holiday. She couldn't find anyone so I offered to help. Our dogs get on well and I'm used to having more than one, although at the moment only have one. She asked how much I'd charge but I said no bother just provide his usual food and treats, which she did. Her dogs food is a superior top end brand to the food I give mine.

All was great whilst we had him, but when feeding, the dogs seemed to favour each others food and swapped between bowls. I didn't think too much of it but did mention it to one of the other mums at the school gates in a jokey way, saying my dog obviously preferred the more expensive brand to the supermarket stuff I provided. Whereas her dog really liked the cheaper stuff.

Mary has obviously been told and today asked me if I fed my dog her dogs food. I was a bit taken aback but explained the above and of course I did give her dog its own food but sometimes dogs want what the other dog has.

She was very cold and told me to compensate her for any tins I gave my dog as she wasn't there to provide for my animal! I'm totally bemused, I saved her £100's in dog sitting fees and although I'm not now going to charge her she must see she is totally unfair.

Or am I wrong and should I buy a pack of 4 tins to give her. My DH says ignore but I don't want bad feeling.

^This!

Absolutely this. We went away last week for four days as it was mid term here and the cost of the boarding kennels was nearly the cost of our break away. She obviously never pays for pet care as otherwise she would be very grateful

Oh this is so funny. This lady needs to get a grip and look for another sitter! Just ignore her, she's nuts!

I think you need to be assertive. Say, no you won't compensate, you did her a favour. Say it pleasantly. End of it.

Mary is a cheeky fucker

Get her the tins then invoice her for the days you dog sat, at a rate of an average dog sitter.

Also, ghost Mary and warn others not to help her out.

As for grass Mum, ghost them too and make sure others know she can't be trusted to keep her gob shut and is a drama stirrer.

Both of them are twats.

What a cunty fuck face she is, the very cheek of her. I’ve been wanting to use that term for someone, heard it in Alma’s Not Normal, and she certainly ain’t normal.

Some people are such shit stirrers, I don’t know if they do it on a purpose for their own kicks. I’d advise her that you’ve saved her a fortune in kennel fees, if she carries on give her a bill for dog sitting minus said dog food charge!

I would have to say something about this.

"Here's the dog food you asked for.
I do want to point out that your dog actually ate my dog's food, I didn't go out of my way to use it. However as requested I am compensating you.

I would also like to point out I have saved you a considerable amount of money in looking after your dog for free, I am not asking you for compensation but I won't be doing it again.

Goodbye"

She is absolutely unbelievable! Is she aware of the cost? Presumably so, given she was let down by someone. Crazy lady, she’s really shot herself in the foot, hasn’t she? Silly, silly.

Omg WOW Id tell her to go stuff it, frankly you provided free dog sitting - also ZERO trust to the 'lady' who passed the info on (gossip/sh*t stirrer!) My darling, You've given an inch and got taken for a mile, you're a good soul - but it stops HERE!

Cheeky B! I’m a canine nutritionist (it’s a thing honest) and interested as to which gold plated food this is. Most expensive is probably not quite £4 a tin so if you dog ate 4 let’s say that’s £16. I went away for a week last year and left my two dogs with a boarder friend who gave me a discount as I send a lot of work her way and it was £400 (which is fine) but surely she can see that you’ve saved her probably £200? At least? And now you won’t offer again.

My friend sometimes has my two for a day and we joke that they dive straight into her dogs’ food. They won’t touch it at home. I’ve given her the odd bag that my fussy lot won’t eat and I always take treats over and leave the rest there and buy a nice Christmas present. That’s my best mate.

I would buy her a pack of the food. Hand it to her and say you didn’t realise doing a favour was going to cost so much! Your dog ate quite a lot of your food and treats but you’ll let her off. I’d also give her a list of local kennels and boarders in the area with their weekly tariff circled so she knows for next time.

What an ungrateful cow. You did her a huge favour!

We minded a neighbour's dog a while ago after we heard their sitter let them down a couple of days before the holiday.

We offered, they tried to pay us, we refused, they asked for requests for gifts, we said nothing, they said no way... It nearly came to blows. And of course they came back laden down with gifts that probably cost as much as the kennels. Goodwill all around and if they go away again we would provide the same favour and if we needed a favour we know we could ask them.

What an absolute idiot this woman is.

Personally I'd say to her
"I'm fairly offended you've asked for payment. I looked after your dog for free. I won't be doing that again. If you want payment for the two tins of dog food I'll invoice you for dog sitting services and deduct the cost of the food."

I saw her

I saw her out on dog walk yesterday but avoided her and walked a different way. I know she saw me and sort of stopped and stared at me for a while. Hopefully she'll realise I'm upset over something.

I won't be at school until tomorrow so still deciding whether to hand over tins or not.

do you like her op?
has she generally been a nice good friend who hasn’ t displayed this behaviour before?

if yes, then i’d hand over the tins without a word and move on with the friendship

if no, not close at all and really don’t care if she’s in or out of your life…then either be straight and say given the costs you incurred, you won’t be repaying and leave at that OR hand over the tins without a word and distance yourself

but no need to do in front of others or create a nasty drama

I won't be at school until tomorrow so still deciding whether to hand over tins or not.

what a waste of your mental energy

Did she not even give you a bottle of wine or something to say thank-you? I’m honestly aghast someone could be so bloody self unaware.

Do NOT give her any tins, She’s a cheeky fucker!

Why would you waste headspace deciding to bow down to this CF?? DO NOT give her any dog food - she’s taking the piss out of you.

another vote for not giving any dog food tins.

I would just say that I’d thought this was an informal arrangement, between friends, with no costs involved. But that if she’s wanting to put the whole transaction on a financial footing, you will reimburse her for the food your dog ate, but she needs to reimburse you for the food her dog ate, and also pay you for dog sitting.
She can’t have it both ways.

Totally agree with this!
she sounds like an outrageously cheeky twunt and her attitude shows how little she regarded your kind offer

If you hand over the tins have a sentence ready, say your bit and walk off, do not give her chance to respond. You'll thank yourself for it even if you hate conflict.

'Here's the dog food you requested, but don't, EVER, ask me for a favour again, I saved you hundreds of pounds in boarding fees, and you're quibbling over a few mouthfuls of food, your dog has better manners than you!'

Then walk off, if she tries to say anything simply wave your hand and say you've nothing else to say!

Totally agree. She either pays a reasonable rate for dog sitting and takes off the cost of the food or it’s an informal agreement between friends where no money changes hands - it’s either or not pick and mix to suit her

Text her and say you’re sorry you didn’t get to speak to her today because you’re unhappy with how things are between you atm.

the dogs ate each others food because it was different, and it was certainly not a deliberate thing, dogs are dogs and they’ll eat what they can if it’s there.

explain that you did her a huge favour and asked for nothing in return. Pet sitting / boarding costs a good £40 a day and even if an informal arrangement there’s usually a gift to thank the person who’s done you a favour, but whatever.

tell her that you’ve got some replacement cans if it is so important to her, and she can come and pick them up from you whenever she wants.

take back control of this, she’s way out of line on this.

You can only give her the dog food if you’re willing to also tell her that as the, what you considered casual, arrangement has changed she now needs to reimburse your time for dog sitting.
If you’re not willing to put her on the spot and charge her for your inconvenience and time then please don’t bow down with the food!
Cheeky mare!