Friend asking for dog food 'compensation'

[dogbiscuitsareforlife]

What do you make of this.

One of my school mum friends, (I'll call her Mary) has a dog and we often bump into each other out for dog walks and walk along together. Not super close, but chatty and friendly

Last week Mary told me she had been let down by a dog sitter for a holiday. She couldn't find anyone so I offered to help. Our dogs get on well and I'm used to having more than one, although at the moment only have one. She asked how much I'd charge but I said no bother just provide his usual food and treats, which she did. Her dogs food is a superior top end brand to the food I give mine.

All was great whilst we had him, but when feeding, the dogs seemed to favour each others food and swapped between bowls. I didn't think too much of it but did mention it to one of the other mums at the school gates in a jokey way, saying my dog obviously preferred the more expensive brand to the supermarket stuff I provided. Whereas her dog really liked the cheaper stuff.

Mary has obviously been told and today asked me if I fed my dog her dogs food. I was a bit taken aback but explained the above and of course I did give her dog its own food but sometimes dogs want what the other dog has.

She was very cold and told me to compensate her for any tins I gave my dog as she wasn't there to provide for my animal! I'm totally bemused, I saved her £100's in dog sitting fees and although I'm not now going to charge her she must see she is totally unfair.

Or am I wrong and should I buy a pack of 4 tins to give her. My DH says ignore but I don't want bad feeling.

I think you’ve missed the boat with this OP. When she asked, I’d have laughed and said “I honestly can’t tell if you’re joking? I’ve saved you hundreds in kennel fees, surely you aren’t splitting hairs over a few tins of dog food?” And let her squirm.

Honestly op I'd tell her that you'll take the cost of the tins off your dog sitting fee. Say it with a straight face, nice and calm and polite, and see what her response is.

I'd write her an invoice for the dog sitting fees with a small deduction for the dog food and over 28 days to pay.

Cheeky cow!

Tell her you’ll deduct the cost of food from the invoice you give her for boarding costs! Stupid cow.

This is insane. Truely insane. All I can think is that she hasn’t quite absorbed what you told her verbally. Hand her a note with the tins explaining events clearly and that you’re disappointed she is is being this way when you helped her out. Then never bother with her again.

Yep, and say that as well!

Invoice her for dog sitting less the cost of maybe 1 tin of food. Payable within 7 days

🙄

I'd hand her a very precise quantity of her fancy dog food and then request the same quantity back in your cheaper dog food. To make a point.

Her treatment of you has been atrocious. Do such ungrateful people come to realisation? I wonder about this. I was once in a similar situation and received a mouthful.

Either confront her as PP have suggested or be satisfied that she feels marginalised:

I saw her out on dog walk yesterday but avoided her and walked a different way. I know she saw me and sort of stopped and stared at me for a while. Hopefully she'll realise I'm upset over something.

Rather than confront (pointless imo as I was aghast at the chopped logic) I “walked a different way”. Confrontation opens the door to more rudeness as part of the “justification”. You can’t argue with stupid is very true.

What a CF she is. Dog boarding/sitting is £25 per dog a day / £35 overnight where I am, so she's saved herself an absolute fortune by you offering to help her.

Absolutely do not give her any food back. Or as others have said, be very clear you did her a massive favour and didn't charge her, and that she can't seriously expect you to replace the food.

And don't avoid her. She'll see that as you feeling guilty about not replacing.

I wouldn’t hand her any tins or an invoice you will look as petty as she is. I’d probably just not initiate any contact and avoid her. If she follows up with you on this you could very reasonably point out how offended you felt by her message and explained it came as a bit of a blow after you had helped her out. Ask her why she didn’t think to speak to you properly before listening to whoever was stirring the pot about the food.

keep it calm and reasonable you are not the one in the wrong so can afford to be dignified about it. If she doesn’t approach you then keep a cool distance in future

What a CF. I’d be equally as cheeky back and whilst you’re not going to charge her, pointedly tell her that you’re sure the cost of the dog food has evened itself out, in the money you’ve saved her on dog sitting fees! What an idiot!

This is good advice.

i definitely wouldn't hand her the dog food, cheeky bitch. if she carries on being shitty about her i'd tell her if she doesn't drop it i'll be sending her an invoice for the dog sitting and the food of yours her dog ate.

Hahaha I would have laughed in her face, what an absolute arse she is! Ungrateful cow. I would tell her OK, you can deduct the cost of the food from the payment you owe me for looking after your dog. When I look after a friend's dog they always go and investigate each others bowl after eating and lick it! Even though they both have raw food they are still curious. She's just being ridiculous do not buy her any food!! If she mentions it again, I would say something like, "are you serious, I just looked after your dog for free, saving you the dog sitters fee and you expect me to buy you food just because the dogs decided to swap a few times!" see what she says to that.

Don't give her any tins. She is being a prized that for even asking.

If you must give her anything, then give her an invoice for your boarding services.

She probaby thought that you were avoiding her because you know that you are in the wrong (according to her) and you are not willing to give her the dog food. Don't give her anything. As others have said if she asks again tell her you might as well invoice her for your services. Like the other woman informed Mary about what you told her you can now tell this woman that Mary now wants you to buy two food tins when she saved so much from your favour (and did not even bring you a small token gift) in the hope that she'll tell her.

I don't understand the posters who say that if you are good friends do as she says in order to keep the peace for the sake of the friendship! It works both ways. She could have also kept the peace for the sake of the friendship!

this!

I would 'accidentally' drop into conversation the absurdity of her request while chatting with the same school gate mums who I'd told about the dogs swapping food. In a 'I don't understand Mary. I saved her $100s and now she's asking me to buy her a tin of dog food. I can't decide if she's bonkers or skint'. And let them gossip it back to her. They'll let her know how ridiculous she is being

Perfect response.

Any update, OP?

Yes, another vote for this. This is absolutely the cleanest, clearest way of putting it. Text a version of this if you don’t want to say it to her face.

At the time you should have said ' Are you having a laugh? I gladly dog sat for you, saved you a fortune and now you want dog food? Are you actually being serious?

Do not give her any tins. You looked after her dog for free and saved her lots of money. I'd be telling her how disingenuous and petty she's being asking you for them. If she wants the tins you now want £30 a day for keeping the dog.