Head lice. He's accusing my DM of bringing them here.

[NitsAreUs]

I was doing my DD's hair after a bath and came across a nit. I point it out to her dad and say I'll pick up a treatment from the chemist tomorrow. No big issue.

He then comes out with "ah that'll be from your mum then"

Excuse me?

My DM came to stay last weekend, but he's conveniently skipping past the fact his other three children are here every week too.

I'm pretty pissed off that he's immediately jumped to accusing my mum of bringing lice into the house, when on the balance of probability it's much more likely to come from children.

There was no mention of my mum having an itchy head or any reason to believe she had lice.

I asked him why he thinks that and he said simply because she was here 🤨

AIBU to think he's out of line? Would you be offended?

Edited to add - I don't even think nits are a big deal personally, for me it's about how he's leapt straight into blaming and pinned it on my mum.

What a weird thing to assume. How old is she? Isn’t it more likely she picked them up at school or nursery?

It is isn't it!

Mum is 70 and doesn't go anywhere where there are children or lots of people, other than here.

I pointed out how nits generally come from schools and nurseries and he said it wouldn't have done because "half term"

My mum came last Saturday one day after they broke up from school.

It feels like he's just trying to have a pop at her and doesn't care that he's defying logic in the process.

Personally I’d assume the chances of them coming from your mum are about 0 in that scenario 😂

Did you point out that his kids were there?

Lol its so unlikely its from your mum its laughable

Your mum 😂😩 honestly OP. Are there other issues with him? It’s just one of the silliest things I ever heard

Again I want to know who are the 4% on the poll who think grandma was responsible?! Beggars belief…

Anything to not 'blame' his children, right?

What an absolutely ridiculous statement to make! Surely anyone knows kids spread nits about and much as it’s nasty it’s just one of those things.

What does he have against your mum??

He honestly sounds thick as mince.

So because its half term lice have a holiday 🙄

It won't be your mum. School or nursery or his kids. His kids need checking - even if they didn't come from them, your child may have passed them on. If he won't entertain the idea, let their mum know.

That’s insane! I thought you were going to say your mum teaches reception or something. Does he really hate your mum or is he a bit thick, or both?!

That is quite possibly the oddest leap I've ever read on here. Why on earth would they have come from your mother? It makes absolutely no sense.

Of course it didn't come from your mum! 🙄 does he have a problem with your mum generally? It's much more likely that they came from his children and he should let their mum know to check their hair!

He is ridiculous (and a bit thick). Either his children brought them in or your little one got them at nursery. He needs to tell the mother of his children that they may have been exposed to headlice and she should check.

Way back when our kids had them we went to a professional nit nurse. She told us they rarely bother with scalps over 40 - not enough blood :)

Also nitty gritty comb plus conditioner and paper towels work way better than the chemical treatments - unless they have vastly improved in the past couple of years.

Your DH needs some nit education.

The eggs take 7 to 10 days to hatch so it is quite likely the egg was transferred by someone at school before half term or a live lice was transferred from one of his kids.

A 70 year old is highly unlikely to have lice as old folk aren't generally likely to have head to head contact, even when playing scrabble!

I worked in a nursing home where we had a headlouse outbreak among the residents. It does happen.

I suspect the above situation is incredibly rare, though.

They’ll have come from his children and he’s stressed he’ll have to do something about it. Or it somehow reflects on him as a parent.

It doesn’t. Children are just grubby, germy and nit-ridden by nature.

Neem oil is the balls for seeing off lice. DS had them at least once a month when he was at primary school.

I'm glad you all think he's being as ridiculous as I do!

I don't think he likes my mum very much. They've been known to rub each other up the wrong way, so to speak.

We've had a row about it all. I was explaining how ridiculous it is to pin it on a 70yo woman who has no other contact with kids and he got defensive and didn't like me pointing that out.

I did highlight the fact his kids were here after he said that about my mum, which he then weaponised aswell 😂

So it's perfectly acceptable to cast aspersions about my mum but me reminding him that we have three other children here regularly is unacceptable.

PP you are spot on, anything to avoid "blaming his kids"

The thing is.. it wouldn't even occur to me to blame them or anyone else. The first thing that came to mind for me was that she had just caught them at school (year 1)

He then made a load of statements like how nits don't like clean hair - so he's basically calling my mum unclean then?!

No he says.

It ended with him accusing me of (verbally) attacking him.

Don't worry, I'm well aware that he's an absolute twit and have one foot out of the door already.

Don't worry, I'm well aware that he's an absolute twit and have one foot out of the door already.

I'm not normally one to advocate leaving the bastard but I'm pleased to read you're already making plans because he sounds like a twat.

He kept saying "my logic was...." and then the spiel about my mum being here last weekend.

When I pointed out the fact that there was nothing logical about it he became even more defensive and up himself, saying whatever and that he just won't share opinions anymore then if I think 'everything he says' he's stupid.

Or is it because he knows he's stupid and doesn't like it when people call it out 🤔

Tell him that there was absolutely no need to attribute blame to anyone.

🤣 what a dick

I did, to which he replied "the first thing that comes to mind when you find out you've got nits is.. what new person has been in?"

Is it? Because for me the fist thing that sprang to mind was 'ugh, that's a bit shit. Nvm, I'll get something from the chemist tomorrow'

New person though? So, you can't catch nits from somebody you see all of the time? 😂

I assume by new person in this case he means somebody who doesn't stay over very often.

He's in a massive strop now. Foul mood. Anybody would think it was me who'd insulted his mother.

Well...I don't know OP. Is your mum a Labour voter?
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=i4_WuFTX-5E&pp=ygUhaGFycnkgZW5maWVsZCBjcmF3bGluZyB3aXRoIGxpY2Ug

She is and so am I, maybe I should be looking a bit closer to home 😂