To post this here as I really need advice

[Namefonow]

I’m sorry, I have already posted this in step parenting but I need some help.

I messed up big time last night and need to recover this for the sake of my children. We are a blended family of 5. Elder 3 are my partners. Younger is mine and we have a 1 year old together.
all having a lovely day yesterday together. I thought I saw the DSS 13 touch DD 6 on her bottom. He caught my eye and left the room. Partner dealt with it brilliantly and sat them both down individually and talked to them. Both said nothing happened. I did not deal with it well at all. To say I lost it would be an understatement. Tried to take the two youngest away and made some serious threats. DSS now doesn’t want me in the house. I get it. But I don’t want to lose my family or my children.
for now I’m staying away but am going back to do bedtime routine with the little ones. I have no idea how to recover from this.
I have apologise d sincerely to everyone but I know it will take time. Any advice would be so welcome. I don’t want to cause anyone any more pain.
for context, I was abused as a young child and freaked out. But that does not for a second excuse my over reaction.

No way would I have left my dd if I had any inkling there was something dodgy going on.

You need to have a (very calm) conversation alone with your dd away from everyone else.

just bc they denied it doesn’t mean it didn’t happen.

The boy's father will make the boy feel safe.

YOU should be in the house making YOUR daughter feel safe.

Never mind about your partner and how much he's like a father to all the kids equally. Your daughter has a mother who's hiding in the bloody summer house on the say so of a 13 year old. Ye gods.

As for leaving the one year old !!! Come on OP. Stop pussy footing about the place and get yourself back in the house and look after your bloomin' kids.

This is a very strange way to go about things

Of course the dss is going to deny anything inappropriate, in what universe would that conversation go any other way??

As other pp are saying, op you need to get back into the house. Dss might not like it but you and DP need to work together to manage the situation, not allow you to be sent off to the summerhouse.

Hopefully therapy will help give you the strength to do this.

Honestly having read some of your previous threads this relationship is barely limping along as it is.

Your partner cheated on you, you had a pregnancy he didn't support and at best the family has struggled to blend. You've sold your business and he's refused to marry you despite you saying as a Christian that's what you wanted.

It sounds like this situation hasn't really come out of nowhere but is the tip of the iceberg.

Probably best if you just separate and let the kids grow up in stable and safe environments without all the drama. They all deserve that.

You and your partner are not doing the right thing by the children by keeping them in this toxic environment. It sounds like it's dead in the water and time to move on.

Having read your update OP, I'm even more confused as to why you left the home and are now sleeping in the summer house. You saw something inappropriate happen and you said you would take your younger children and leave. That is exactly what you should do, as a responsible mother. Why are you punishing yourself for this perfectly natural reaction? Who has convinced you that you were wrong to react this way? Even if the stepson's touch was innocent, you and your DH should have sat down with all the children and explained why some touching is inappropriate. That should have been the end of the matter (if you truly believe stepson's actions were innocent. If you don't, you need to look into safely leaving this situation), not this ridiculous hair shirt behaviour.

Go back into your home and protect your children. The 13 year old get's zero say in where you sleep.

Hope things are going ok OP.