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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Boots security accusation.

186 replies

Startyabastard · 03/11/2024 13:34

I live in a major city and I very regularly go to Boots inside a shopping centre. Sometimes I have a big shopping trolley that I push (relevant because when I 'complained' that security followed me to a neighbour they said that it was a method that shoplifters use and security are aware that they do this) but there are also many times when I don't use it.
Anyway: I am a hoarder and I have adhd, so I can be a bit eager with products, but I always display them clearly in my hands and go to pay at the checkout. I prefer the manned checkout rather than the self check out for the exact fear of being accused of shop lifting, but sometimes the staff direct me to the self check out and I pay there.
Sometimes I forget my receipt, but I am always happy to go back and get it/prove which self check out/manned check out I have been on. One of the staff asked me which self check out I had used when the security alarm went off when I was exiting the store and he showed me how he could prove the last purchase on the particular till.
I don't always wait for the receipt or if I do, it I accidentally take the No.7 voucher 10% off print out instead. Sometimes I also have the receipt.
The lip glosses randomly have those stuck on security tags and they often beep when I walk out. After payment, I openly ask staff to remove them.

Last time I went to the Boots that i most regularly go to and the one where the security commonly beeps when I exit with my most bought product lip gloss (not sure if relevant), I was in the middle of the shop going to buy exactly that and security was watching me very, very closely and hinting to the other security guard to come closer to me.
I didn't want to be dictated to by them (or appear 'guilty' by quickly exiting the shop), but the more serious security guard 'edged' me out.
They did not 'accuse' me or even talk to me, but they both towered over me and got so close as that I felt I had to leave the shop. One of them (can't remember about the other) was security with a high vis vest and walkie talkie. I wasn't taken to the back of the shop or asked not to come back again, neither did other staff do anything to help.
Most of my purchases would be able to be seen on my Boots advantage card, but there was a time when I didn't have one because they stopped working due to not being registered online.
However, they do also have CCTV, which I am guessing they haven't consulted.
When I have been stopped by a security guard before, because the product still had the tag on and it made the alarms go off, he asked me for my receipt. I didn't have it on me, but he said it was fine to leave the shop. I went 'above this' because I have paranoia about this exact thing happen and I told him I could go and get someone to prove it. He said it didn't matter, but if I insisted, I could show him my online banking purchase and I did. I said I was paranoid about being thought of a shoplifter and he said that if I was one, I wouldn't have taken the time to show him.
After this, on another day, this I incident happened.

I have consulted two staff members from two other Boots stores, one being a manager and they didn't think it was appropriate that security behaved in this manner. One of the staff suggested to me that I call/email the customer care line.
I will probably complete this, but I don't know if they will be thorough/able to find the records of me paying etc.
I could go back to the shop where the incident happened and talk to the manager as the other manager of the other Boots advised, but I suspect that I might be edged out again and hence unable to find the manager.
Thanks for reading.

OP posts:
Singleandproud · 03/11/2024 13:52

You are clearly display some sort of odd behaviour that they are picking up on / look like another shop lifter.

So think back to how you shop, if you want to continue going what can you do differently - take a little basket from the entrance to put the products in. Be mindful of your body language and how you dress. Do you have a coat with big pockets and keep putting your hands in etc.

Startyabastard · 03/11/2024 13:53

I get a bit excited because I never had enough of things as a child.
I don't snatch or grab, but I have a smile on my face and often remark how good the specific products are to the staff.

OP posts:
wheretheheckissummer · 03/11/2024 13:53

Why did you not say anything when they came towards you? I would ask what the problem was 🤷‍♀️

Gazelda · 03/11/2024 13:55

I understand why you're upset by this.

But I think it's your shopping behaviour that might be causing them to be interested in you.

Your reference to being 'eager with products' might be the issue here. Can you explain what you mean by this?

You haven't done anything wrong, so perhaps you could try to follow a pattern that is more usual, ie be determined what you're there for, pick up the item, pay and get a receipt before walking out of the door.

Mrsttcno1 · 03/11/2024 13:55

Can’t see that they’ve done anything wrong really, it’s honestly no hassle to just use a basket and get a receipt

Startyabastard · 03/11/2024 13:55

I need to go to other shops to buy other things, hence the trolley!
It makes shopping easier, who'd have thought it?! They are invented for that reason!
I don't want a basket because I know it's a psychological trick to make you buy more.

OP posts:
ThinWomansBrain · 03/11/2024 13:56

you're clearly very anxious around this - you ask staff to check for security tags after using a self service checkout - just remember to pick up the correct receipt before you leave the check out area.

Startyabastard · 03/11/2024 13:56

I am very careful not to stuff my hands in my pockets.

OP posts:
Mrsttcno1 · 03/11/2024 13:57

The way you’ve described your own behaviour on here even sounds odd & enough to prompt the attention of security and this is in your own words, so I can well imagine seeing it in action in real life as a third party who doesn’t know you that it does seem suspicious.

FlibbertyGibbitt · 03/11/2024 13:57

Make it easier on yourself and get a basket in the shop. Job done !

Pusheen467 · 03/11/2024 13:58

Startyabastard · 03/11/2024 13:55

I need to go to other shops to buy other things, hence the trolley!
It makes shopping easier, who'd have thought it?! They are invented for that reason!
I don't want a basket because I know it's a psychological trick to make you buy more.

Just get a basket and a receipt. I'm not trying to be horrible but it seems like you're making your own life more difficult. And again, in the nicest possible way, you say you're a hoarder - are you seeking help? How often do you actually go to Boots? I can't imagine needing to go there more than once a week, if that.

Startyabastard · 03/11/2024 13:59

I suspect it is my excitement, but I don't think their behaviour is warranted.
I'll complain online.

OP posts:
Nikitaspearlearring · 03/11/2024 13:59

DisplayPurposesOnly · 03/11/2024 13:46

Too much drama. Make your life simpler. Use a shopping basket to put your stuff-im-buying in and get a receipt.

Yep, this. Use a basket and concentrate when you pay. Take a receipt. It's quite simple really.

Don't take a trolley from one shop into another - they've told you why this isn't a good idea.

TheDowagerCountessofPembroke · 03/11/2024 13:59

I think a lot of the problem here is how you are perceiving the security guards. They stood near you, that is all.

Startyabastard · 03/11/2024 14:00

TheDowagerCountessofPembroke · 03/11/2024 13:59

I think a lot of the problem here is how you are perceiving the security guards. They stood near you, that is all.

They didn't. They 'edged' me out of threshop, towering over me.

OP posts:
TheDowagerCountessofPembroke · 03/11/2024 14:01

Nikitaspearlearring · 03/11/2024 13:59

Yep, this. Use a basket and concentrate when you pay. Take a receipt. It's quite simple really.

Don't take a trolley from one shop into another - they've told you why this isn't a good idea.

I don’t think she means a supermarket shopping trolly. 🛒 More like the kind that old ladies used to wheel around. Very practical they are too.

doodleschnoodle · 03/11/2024 14:01

Mrsttcno1 · 03/11/2024 13:57

The way you’ve described your own behaviour on here even sounds odd & enough to prompt the attention of security and this is in your own words, so I can well imagine seeing it in action in real life as a third party who doesn’t know you that it does seem suspicious.

Agreed. The whole thing sounds really weird frankly.

Startyabastard · 03/11/2024 14:01

I wish I had always taken a receipt.

OP posts:
TheDowagerCountessofPembroke · 03/11/2024 14:02

Startyabastard · 03/11/2024 14:00

They didn't. They 'edged' me out of threshop, towering over me.

They are taller than you. They can’t do much about that. They didn’t march you out or ask you to leave. You could have stood your ground.

Pianowa · 03/11/2024 14:02

Use a basket, get the receipt, if people “edge you out” say excuse me I need to buy this or what are you doing etc. if you can’t cope with using a basket because it makes you buy more, order online, you must already know the names etc if you’re in regularly and commenting on them to staff

Hillrunning · 03/11/2024 14:03

You are behaving oddly. Lots of reasons for them to be suspicious of you. Sounds like you go in there often (thats irregular for a toiletries shop) you buy a lot (suggested by you mentioning hoarding) sometimes you have a big trolley (do you mean one of thoes granny things?) And most oddly of all, you insisted on proving your purchase when the guard had already sent you on your way. Honestly, I can see why they don't want you in there.

Singleandproud · 03/11/2024 14:07

A basket isn't a psychological trick to make you buy more, it's so you can carry products, keep one hand free and reduce you being accused of shoplifting. Just pop it on the top of your shopping trolley and go about your day, you are making this far more difficult than it needs to be.

So if these security guards stood next to you and edged you out why didn't you talk to them. "Hi, can I help you?" Or "Would you mind helping me find....?" And see what they say. Their job is to reduce thefts from store and your behaviour sounds bizarre they have done nothing wrong. Your own anxiety has escalated your response

Nikitaspearlearring · 03/11/2024 14:07

TheDowagerCountessofPembroke · 03/11/2024 14:01

I don’t think she means a supermarket shopping trolly. 🛒 More like the kind that old ladies used to wheel around. Very practical they are too.

Ah yes. Thanks.

SockQueen · 03/11/2024 14:08

Startyabastard · 03/11/2024 14:00

They didn't. They 'edged' me out of threshop, towering over me.

Did anyone (including you) actually use any words at any point during this bizarre interaction? If not, why on earth not?

Startyabastard · 03/11/2024 14:08

Singleandproud · 03/11/2024 14:07

A basket isn't a psychological trick to make you buy more, it's so you can carry products, keep one hand free and reduce you being accused of shoplifting. Just pop it on the top of your shopping trolley and go about your day, you are making this far more difficult than it needs to be.

So if these security guards stood next to you and edged you out why didn't you talk to them. "Hi, can I help you?" Or "Would you mind helping me find....?" And see what they say. Their job is to reduce thefts from store and your behaviour sounds bizarre they have done nothing wrong. Your own anxiety has escalated your response

I used to work in retail, it IS a psychological trick to make you buy more.

OP posts: