Boots security accusation.

[Startyabastard]

I live in a major city and I very regularly go to Boots inside a shopping centre. Sometimes I have a big shopping trolley that I push (relevant because when I 'complained' that security followed me to a neighbour they said that it was a method that shoplifters use and security are aware that they do this) but there are also many times when I don't use it.
Anyway: I am a hoarder and I have adhd, so I can be a bit eager with products, but I always display them clearly in my hands and go to pay at the checkout. I prefer the manned checkout rather than the self check out for the exact fear of being accused of shop lifting, but sometimes the staff direct me to the self check out and I pay there.
Sometimes I forget my receipt, but I am always happy to go back and get it/prove which self check out/manned check out I have been on. One of the staff asked me which self check out I had used when the security alarm went off when I was exiting the store and he showed me how he could prove the last purchase on the particular till.
I don't always wait for the receipt or if I do, it I accidentally take the No.7 voucher 10% off print out instead. Sometimes I also have the receipt.
The lip glosses randomly have those stuck on security tags and they often beep when I walk out. After payment, I openly ask staff to remove them.

Last time I went to the Boots that i most regularly go to and the one where the security commonly beeps when I exit with my most bought product lip gloss (not sure if relevant), I was in the middle of the shop going to buy exactly that and security was watching me very, very closely and hinting to the other security guard to come closer to me.
I didn't want to be dictated to by them (or appear 'guilty' by quickly exiting the shop), but the more serious security guard 'edged' me out.
They did not 'accuse' me or even talk to me, but they both towered over me and got so close as that I felt I had to leave the shop. One of them (can't remember about the other) was security with a high vis vest and walkie talkie. I wasn't taken to the back of the shop or asked not to come back again, neither did other staff do anything to help.
Most of my purchases would be able to be seen on my Boots advantage card, but there was a time when I didn't have one because they stopped working due to not being registered online.
However, they do also have CCTV, which I am guessing they haven't consulted.
When I have been stopped by a security guard before, because the product still had the tag on and it made the alarms go off, he asked me for my receipt. I didn't have it on me, but he said it was fine to leave the shop. I went 'above this' because I have paranoia about this exact thing happen and I told him I could go and get someone to prove it. He said it didn't matter, but if I insisted, I could show him my online banking purchase and I did. I said I was paranoid about being thought of a shoplifter and he said that if I was one, I wouldn't have taken the time to show him.
After this, on another day, this I incident happened.

I have consulted two staff members from two other Boots stores, one being a manager and they didn't think it was appropriate that security behaved in this manner. One of the staff suggested to me that I call/email the customer care line.
I will probably complete this, but I don't know if they will be thorough/able to find the records of me paying etc.
I could go back to the shop where the incident happened and talk to the manager as the other manager of the other Boots advised, but I suspect that I might be edged out again and hence unable to find the manager.
Thanks for reading.

Yes, but I'd say that the OP has a genuine entitlement to a sunflower lanyard.

I'm in my 60s. I was diagnosed with OCD in my mid thirties. Last year, it was suggested that I have ASD and ADHD.

I'm not surprised - a younger relative has Asperger's - as it was then termed - and it's fairly clear that many in my mum's side of the family have traits of ASD.

I've worked with secondary school pupils with ASD and I recall speaking to one lad and having the revelation that it was like looking at a male version of myself at the same age. I'm pretty good at "masking" at work, but less so in social situations.

I recall my mum telling me off for looking "suspicious" when I was shopping in Woolie's and Boot's. Mind you, I think that part of that was the fact that I was a teen...From what the OP has said, her problem is much worse than mine. I really do think that a lanyard might help to an extent.

No that was another time she was shopping in there. Not the most recent time which was last week.

Why didn't you just say "excuse me please" and then go over to the part of the shop you wanted to go to? Your whole post is really odd. It's perfectly normal to show your reciept when something in your bag has set off the alarms, that is an absolute non event. I can't work out whether you have some serious anxiety which is leading you to imagine all this or you are intact actually a shoplifter.

Did the public ask for self checkouts?
Personally, although convenient, I don't like the dynamics around them.
Where I come from, it's actually illegal to look into your bag as a quick check-up and whatever, unless a police officer is present.

Weird, isn't it, that she needs to buy lip gloss so often?

No, it’s not. In a supermarket maybe but not when you’re shopping for lip gloss and mascara and the like!

I can understand why you were upset by this, but really you’ve answered your own question. They’re following you because you’re not using a basket and have a large trolley with you that you could ‘accidently’ drop things into! The fact that you’re not planning to steal anything is irrelevant.

Use a basket, put the trolley obviously behind/beside you so it’s clear it’s not relevant to your Boots visit and just has stuff from other shops in, and act naturally, going to the products you want and browsing and picking them up in a calm, measured manner to examine them, before putting the one(s) you want into your basket.

The fact you’re so worried about being accused of shoplifting that you prefer the manned till rather than self-service so you can’t be accused of stealing is very strange, as is your attitude to the receipts. You must subconsciously know that your behaviour looks dodgy because otherwise you wouldn’t worry about being accused of stealing.

I think next time you go into the shop you should just go straight to the nearest checkout and ask to speak to a manager about what happened. Stride with purpose and I can't see how you would be able to be herded out.

I'm a quiet person so I can kind of understand where you were coming from not saying anything at the time but there are occasions when you need to try your best to speak up and I think when you are being heeded out of a shop like an animal is one of those times.

You seem to be an over thinker and are over analyising your past times there, you might act oddly but thats OK, it isn't a crime to be a little bit odd. You know that you haven't done anything wrong so just march in and ask to speak to the manager about what happened. Don't mention all of the background that you have here, that just confuses things, mention that you are a regular customer if you like but all of the sometimes I get a receipt, sometimes I don't etc is irrelevant, you are a regular paying customer that's all they need to know.

OP I had a jobs worth woman watching me. Because I had put 1 bottle of E45 suncream in my basket. One of my autistic children decided to clear the shelf of all the bottles of sun. My other autistic child made a run for it out the door. So of course I dropped my basket and ran after him. Turned round and said their autistic kids not fucking shop lifter's. Old bag she was I often see her on the bus years later.

A shopping trolley like a supermarket trolley or one of those trolleys on wheels, a sort of bag on wheels? As pp have said wouldn't it be easier to just put your things in a basket and then when you pay get a receipt? Why make things more complicated for yourself?

Woolies was famous for kids stealing the pick and mix!

I think people get annoyed with the trotting out of “ I have ( insert acronym here) “ thinking it should be an excuse.

This has become a lot more common, ( to use as mitigation) but lets down others who take responsibility for their actions.

Once I had a Tesco Express security guard ask me to pull my scarf ( a snood) down - it was snowing and I said “ I’m not going to steal your meal deal for goodness sakes- target 🎯 the guys after booze!”

I felt he thought I was an easy target to ask as a woman and less likely to be aggressive (?)

I was annoyed.

However this was before the shoplifting epidemic.

From what you’ve said, your behaviour in a shop is a little bit unusual. You’ve got a perfectly reasonable explanation for that, but the security guards can’t be expected to know that you aren’t just a regular shoplifter.

I don’t understand why you didn’t just say ‘excuse me’ to the security guards and continue walking where you wanted to walk?

Also, if you’re describing yourself as paranoid you’ll be mistaken for a shoplifter, why aren’t you taking care to get your receipt each time?

And if you’re so convinced that getting a basket is a psychological trick to get you to buy more, rather than an easier way to carry your stuff, then you know not to fall for their tricks and just buy what you want, can’t you?

She clearly just wants to buy lip gloss a lot, that isn't a crime. Some people have enormous amount of cosmetics, some people have enormous amounts of lego, some people books. It's whatever floats the ops boat really.

Be more diligent about collecting your receipt. They will soon get bored

But what did she do wrong? She watched you? I would have watched that scene too. It sounds dramatic

That's a bit odd... watching you because you put a bottle of sunlotion in your basket, or because your child cleared the shelf? As in knocked everything off?
She was likely doing her job, but lovely misogyny with the 'old bag' comment and verbal abuse!

Perhaps a basket is also a useful tool psychological trick to stop one looking like a shoplifter?

You should try it!

Awful comment wasn't it. Sounds like her kids trashed the shop, I don't blame the woman for watching.

What do you mean they refused to allow you to remain in the shop? Is this the 'edging out' you talk about, where they didn't speak to you at all, just towered over you?

If that had happened to me I'd have asked them what on earth was going on. I think anyone would have. It seems odd that you just let them intimidate you into leaving the shop without even having a conversation about why.

If that did happen, I'd suggest you've been on their radar for a while and rightly or wrongly, they do suspect that you are shoplifting. They just haven't managed to catch you in the act yet.

Clearly you haven't done anything wrong, as real shoplifters don't tend to complain to the manager. But good luck with phoning the customer service and complaints line. If it's anything like Tesco you'll get precisely nowhere with taking any sort of complaint forward and you'll be lucky if you get to converse with anything but a chat bot.

Sometimes in life we just have to confirm to what's expected in social situations or live with the consequences of being 'different'.

You've tried 'different'. I would suggest you try 'conforming' and see how you get on.

Use a basket.
Go to a staffed till.
Take the receipt the staff member hands you.

Job done.

If you are still feeling harassed asked to speak with a manager so you can better understand the situation. It could be that you look similar to a known shoplifter or something which you can easily clear up.

Sounds par for the course!

Have it delivered to store free

They aren't throwing you out because you are smiling

You are behaving in a way that attracts attention from security. By constantly trying to prove your innocence you look guilty before you’ve even started. Stop behaving like a shoplifter / victim and you’ll stop being treated like a shoplifter / victim.

YABU and making drama. Slow down when you check out, get organised and get the receipt, make sure everything scans properly or say no when directed to self check. Then no one will bother you.

OP looked and acted shifty so the security staff were alerted and came over.

However bottom line is she did nothing wrong, she hadn’t shoplifted. Or by the sound of it picked up anything yet.

I wouldn’t put up with this BS bullying from security staff. I would have either said in a loud voice ‘Can I HELP you?!’ (with hands on hips and and some direct eye contact 😂) or stomped over to the cashier to speak to the store manager there and then to complain (or both).

Dont put up with BS like this again. You were an innocent customer (albeit an quirky one)