To really struggle to save money

[redfox14]

I work part time (20 hours a week) and DH works full time, we have a 1.5 year old DD. I've been back at work since she was 9 months old. DH and I are trying to save money and literally every month we find ourselves thinking, where on earth has our money gone?

My annual salary is about £12k and DH's is £25.5k. Neither of us are frivolous with money. We don't go out drinking, we haven't had a date night in months, we would maybe get a takeaway once a month (and then wish we hadn't). We haven't been on holiday for 2 years. When we look at our bank statements it is all bills, petrol, and food shopping, or bits and bobs like picking up stuff from the corner shop, Boots, and so on. DH foots the majority of the bills and for DD's nursery, I pay for the car, we split food shopping and petrol. On the rare occasion that we manage to put a bit of money away it never seems to last or has to be spent on emergencies (tyre punctures, broken boilers, to name a couple of recent examples).

I feel we never have any money comfortably left over. We try so hard to be sensible, but I have sleepless nights worrying about money. I think a lot of it is due to the rising cost of living and neither of us having particularly well paid jobs, and me only working part time, but I don't want to sacrifice the time I get to spend with DD by going back to working full-time, and then having that extra pay be cancelled out by needing more childcare. My parents are gobsmacked that we don't have any savings but I don't know what else we can do.

Does anyone have any tips or tricks for saving money when you're not on a large combined salary?

So if you earn more money when full time why doesn't he go part time instead?

In the longer term could you become a teacher? In the short term - enjoy your child and your weekends while trying to prune the unnecessary expenditure. If you can afford to live then there is no need to worry - you can make changes later. Think about what you have rather than what you haven’t. It sounds like you enjoy your child, your relationship and both want to put each other first… puts you ahead of many!

Do you rent or own OP? That would make a massive difference to your UC entitlement, but I still would've thought on those salaries you'd still be entitled to a little bit even if it was £50 if you have a mortgage.

At 1.5 you should be able to claim 15 hours funded for your DCs nursery fees. It's quite easy to work out UC entitlement if you know the formula. I find the calculators a bit shit, one said we were entitled to £300 when in reality we weren't entitled to anything at the time.

It's very easy for people to say get a full time job. I earn similarly (pro rata 31k) to you albeit slightly less hours. For us we would have to move DS from a school run pre school (30 hours term time with no extra charges so essentially free) back to nursery 52 weeks of the year with extra costs (not entirely sure on costs as moved before 30 hours came in). Then DD would also have to go into after school club circa £200 a month. Plus added cost of holiday clubs as I work 3 days a week so only have to arrange 5 days instead of 3. Then when you account for diesel (I currently WFH), increase in pension, NI and Student loan I would actually be worse off and see my kids less. I currently work during school hours and entirely left to my own devices as long as the work is done. If I move then my industry is 24 hours so I'd have to work a shift pattern and all that comes with it. I'm not entirely sure there would be any career advancement by taking the hit either. I'll also add I'm on a southern wage uplift but currently living up north so I'd struggle to get anywhere near, equivalent salaries here are 25-28k.

My DH does earn considerably more than yours I won't lie. However I do try and top up my salary. I sell a lot on Vinted and use the money made to buy the next size up clothing for the kids. I also use cashback sites and gift cards where I can. I'm also on O2 so use their airtime app to get money off my phone bill. The money I've saved I move straight into a savings account. This then pays for school uniforms and the like. Food wise I bulk cook a lot and buy a lot of base bits to make meals with. For example chopped tomatoes are inexpensive and can be used in so many meals. I also buy pasta and lentils in bulk and batch loads of meals. Also we eat plant based which saves a lot of money (I'm vegetarian but the others eat meat occasionally). Hope some of that helps.

I have a bachelor's degree but unfortunately haven't been able to get a job in my degree-related field

What's the degree? There's a huge teacher shortage...

@DuringDinnerMints Yes sadly we live in quite a rural area, it's 8 miles to my place of work and DD's nursery from where we live, and public transport is very unreliable. We also drive to the supermarket etc and to see family/grandparents so really do benefit from having a car.
@Catza I think sadly the low salary was to do with the specific company he worked for, and not that trade in general, which is why he left. He's earning a much better salary in the job he does now.
@gamerchick I will make an application, I've always thought we didn't qualify for anything (when I asked Citizen's Advice when I was on statutory maternity pay they told me I didn't!) but worth checking.
@GildedRage that's a really good way of doing things, we will give it a go! Thank you.

Teachers assistants are in demand as babysitters as people have confidence in their abilities. Is there any children at your school who need after school care even on the days you don't work Or during schoolholidays when parents are desperate for minders. . Or you could babysit one night every weekend. It wouldn't be a huge amount but every little bit counts.

@Pandasnacks So I earned more money when I was FT before we had DD - since then DH has changed jobs and now his salary is higher than mine had been :)
@BelgianBeers @WYorkshireRose My degree is in Psychology and ideally I'd like to work as a SENCO or in an educational psychology related role but I think that is realistically a few years off (once DD is at school).
@Chocolateorange22 I try to top up with Vinted too but I do find that I'm now running out of stuff to sell! The dining table and chairs may be next 😂I've never thought of cashback sites but I don't do much (if any) online shopping anymore unless it's for birthday/Christmas gifts. We do try to meal plan and prep but also eat a lot of meat and fruit and vegetables so I know that is an additional expense. I have heard that doing an online supermarket shop is a bit more cost friendly so may try that too.

agree with pp, your household income is low, so v difficult to save when you have a family too.

I would try to increase your salaries somehow. Can you up your hours a bit? Could you take on a second job? Can your partner try to increase their salary?

also look at your outgoings… you mention lots of little extras from boots. Well can you add that to your weekly shop instead and buy supermarket brands or go to places like B&M, Savers. Try to limit picking extra bits up from convenience shops. They can be costly, and this is a small way to find some extra bit of money as these little trips add up.

look at subscriptions, what can be cancelled? Look at phone contracts, can you switch to sim only. I would go thru your bank statements and see where you can start saving - even small amounts, they all add up. I recently cancelled my green chef subscription which was costing me £35-£40 per week on top of my weekly food shop. I now do weekly food shop online and budget £80-£90 per week for two of us (this includes toiletries and cleaning products, also food and treats for our two dogs). I try not to buy coffee out, will make at home. Odd coffee and hot choc out when with a friend or something. Limit takeaways as these are costly. Do collection if you do and save on delivery fees.

My motto in life is more money less hours, so I agree with others in that you both ought to look at how to develop at work. Senior TA sounds ideal. Can your partner try to develop too and climb the ladder so to speak?

@redfox14

Did forget to add that I actually do two online shops a week using a delivery pass. Creates a lot less wastage and I only need to meal plan for 3/4 days at a time. What ever is left either gets added into the next lot of meal planning to use up or is frozen. As a result our shopping bill is only approx £80 a week for 2A 2K and we don't exactly starve. We came home from a week visiting relatives yesterday and I managed to create four different meals based around a single carbohydrate but other components to suit preferences. All because I freeze leftovers and am organised in food planning. A decade ago we'd have just ordered takeaway. Obviously click and collect can sometimes work out cheaper. However we are rural and the nearest supermarket is a good few miles away so delivery service works for us.

Would it be at all manageable to set up a standing order of even £5-10 per month to go into savings? Ideally on the same day that you are paid, or thereabouts.

I think it’s worth double checking you’re not entitled to UC. I know there are complicated variables, but I know people on higher salaries than you who receive it.

Also, are you using tax free childcare to pay for nursery hours?

As has been said, you’re on low incomes, having lots of savings isn’t realistic at the moment. You both sound sensible, hopefully you can find a bit here and there to make things easier.

It's rubbish when money is so tight. There's been some good suggestions so far. I would try to skip the monthly takeaway and perhaps get in a nicer than normal frozen pizza (lidl do some). Try to limit the corner shop type purchases, ours is extortionate. Trying to buy your regular food shopping whilst it's on offer can also save a few pounds here and there. Which is your normal supermarket?

I agree that you need to boost your income somehow. Could one of you take on some seasonal work? Royal mail has Christmas temp jobs, various shift including nights. I know some of the retailers advertise too. Could be a good way of getting some extra money amd seeing how the extra shifts impact your family.

Not to state the obvious but you can’t save on a low salary unless your outgoings are very low.

The only way to do so is to earn more.

Depends where you are in the country

I'm up North. I only earn 23k for full time work. Average salary around here

When I had my DC prescriptions were free for the first 12 months after they were born. A quick google tells me that’s still the case so make sure you’re on top of all that sort of thing.
Tax free childcare is another one, make sure you’re using it to pay for nursery.

Sorry ignore me on the prescriptions, I read it as your DD being 9 months old!

I think that for now, you need to park the thoughts about saving.

The only way to make more is to get more well-paid jobs, which from what you say won't be particularly easy.

But - it won't always be like this. Once your baby is at school you won't have nursery fees and might be able to move home or find something a bit more lucrative.

Thanks for your suggestions everyone, you have given me some really good ideas and also some reassurance that we're not just throwing money away!!
I have been through our direct debits this evening and have switched our broadband provider and my phone network, and just doing that will be saving £40 a month so that's a start in the right direction.

I am going to apply for UC tomorrow and just see what we are entitled to. At the end of the day we are both low earners and unfortunately where we live (up north and very rural) there simply aren't a lot of high paying jobs apart from certain specialised industries.

I just wanted some reassurance and you have all definitely given me that so thank you, and thanks for being so gracious about it :)

£27k is high for a full time TA wage-none of ours earn that. How many hours do you work now?

Could you go full time school hours (8.45-3.15?) and use childcare for those hours? When do the partially funded hours start?

The Ed pysch idea actually is a good one. TA work, even senior, is terribly paid and always part time as tends to be term time only.

Could you look into teacher training?

OP if your husband is a tradesman could he potentially be a self employed handyman at the weekend? I'm fairly sure I heard my local handyman makes £50k+ a year. He just advertises on facebook. Maybe he could have a dabble at the weekend. Seriously though tradesmen are really raking it in round my end, North West.

Having said that don't beat yourself up at not being able to save, you're doing well to be paying the bills and managing expensive problems like a new boiler, especially with a baby in nursery.

Also if your current setup is working for you, then don't feel peer pressured to do more hours. If you are enjoying your work life balance with your baby good for you. In a couple of years when DC is in school or getting their 30 free hours maybe you can get more work. But this time flies by, as long as you don't feel like you're on the bones of your arse poor and it's making you miserable, crack on.

I totally empathise OP! We are in very similar boat, slightly higher earnings but with 2 kids. I'm working part time 18hrs and only earn about 13k but until DC2 is at school it is most financially viable option, and also want to make the most of time with her as I did DC1.
DH works 40hrs a week income about 32k.....neither of us much hope of any career progression really, due to opportunities/skilset/confidence combined.
We can afford all the essentials, and activities for kids, days out, occasional meals out or takeaways etc, kids each have clubs and extras such as gym and Spotify, but have to be frugal with often getting clothes and kids presents 2nd hand etc, holidays even UK ones put us in debt, and bigger unexpected expenses such as car repairs are tricky.
We never really have anything left over at the end of the month....anything we have ever saved gets eaten up within a short period on something or other.
It feels like everyone around us is better off than us to be honest...probably doesn't help that we live in a fairly affluent area (we rent though) I know people casually getting new kitchens, extensions etc and think how on earth do you do it!
Everything is so expensive now that it seems you're doomed for saving if you don't have a well paid job :(

EP is a well-paid job, but it’s highly competitive to even get accepted and then a 3-4 year (potentially unfunded) course. It’s a doctorate (like a PhD) so obviously very academic and one hell of a dissertation at the end of it. It’s not something to undertake lightly and will take a lot of hours away from family life.

I know a number of very unhappy EPs who are basically utterly fed up of having to toe the Local Authority ‘party line’ and spending all of their time doing statutory work.