To feel terrified by the idea of time going on forever

[Lavenderfarmcottage]

I recently lost someone close to me and I feel that she’s in heaven or a better place. I find it incredibly difficult to believe she isn’t. However, ever since I was very young, the idea of heaven just going on and on and on with no end has terrified me and I have to stop thinking about it whenever it occurs to me, such is the uncomfortable gut feeling it gives me. I don’t know why this is but it just does. I feel also scared about the alternative that life just ends. Does anyone feel similarly and has anyone been able to soothe this fear with any sort of comforting ideas ?

I have moments of feeling like this too. I try not to think about it…

I comfort myself with the reassurance that life is meaningless and everything dies.

Growing up in an overly religious church, I always got the feeling heaven felt a little boring to be honest! Doing things - even your favourite things - over and over every day.

As an adult I think of it more as a concept, where you can also tap out and in when you want, but time doesn't absolutely drag. So I might go 'oh hey, I think I'll have a rest until X arrives up here!' And just... sleep for a bit? Get up when there's more to see/people to meet. It's not an endless land of being trapped in sickly happiness and pink skies.
** I know this has no biblical basis, and probably all in my head, but hope it helps!

I both agree and disagree. Yes everything dies but I don’t think any life is meaningless.

😂😂😂 Well yes there's that too! I did always kinda wonder if heaven was created as a concept to make people less afraid of death.

I think that the point is that in heaven, if it exists, you are not aware of time in the same way.

When ds1 was young he once asked me about what do people do in heaven. He has adhd and was worried that he'd get bored.

I read a fiction book once - cant remember what it was called but heaven only existed until the last person who could remember you also passed away - I don't know if that's a comforting thought or not - that maybe if you are forgettable heaven doesn't last as long as someone who had great great great grandchildren who could remember them or who made a great impact on someone. But at least it meant heaven wasnt infinite

Not having a pop, @Lavenderfarmcottage , but the concept of heaven, where pretty much everyone one has ever met and all one's family are permanently in one's life, sounds horrendous. It's not just those we loved there!

Aww, bless him.......

It's too big a concept for our brains to handle, just like death can terrify people as the brain can't handle the idea of it either. A priest once told me we can't put God in a box to make sense (which is what humans do) as it's all beyond our current comprehension - theirs comfort in that!

I believe that time doesn’t exist after physical death like it does on earth . Here it is an actual measured thing we all conform to in the same way I think after death there is no time like on earth but more our mind/spirit can jump back and forth much like how we recall a memory now if that makes any sense ?!

If there is a heaven, time will not be a meaningful concept. It can't just go on and on indefinitely - nothing does. Existence without a body or time will be different, and joyous in a way we can't possible imagine now.
On the other hand, if death is simply the end of ourselves, there is another kind of comfort in that. No more pain or suffering or uncertainty. You haven't worried about all the aeons of time in which you didn't exist before your birth, and there's no need to worry about the future either. Other people will be here instead of you, and to represent you. We're all connected.

Reminds me of the sort of Christian wisdom my Grandmother would have given, while pouring me tea and making me feel warm and safe. Appreciate.

I like to believe that our time on earth is purely to have a human experience, a physical body and free will to make decisions good or bad and to experience human emotions. Sort of like a period of ‘education’ for the spirit I suppose much like a small part of human life is usually spent early on in some kind of school / education .

Interesting. Would that be The Brief History of the Dead by Kevin Brockmeier?

I believe this too.

If you like light hearted American comedy, then The Good Place covers this exact topic. It's a bit of a piss take but it's the only way for us agnostics and atheists to understand what others believe.

Thankyou, I really appreciate the responses. I’ve gained a lot of comfort. I think I’m going through the depressed phase of grief (a little bit, no need for serious concern) and so my mind is drifting to melancholy thoughts.

I won’t continue checking in as I’ve got the comfort I’ve come for & I should probably keep my spirits high X

I love this!

This

❤️

I actually threw an absolute tantrum aged about 4 when my mum was explaining heaven and that it just kept going and going … I can still remember it!

It’s interesting because I come at it from the opposite point of view (that there isn’t a heaven or an afterlife and so we just die and there is nothing and that’s it forever. It terrifies me) Sometimes the thought of it jolts me awake when I’m half asleep and makes my heart race.

But yes, the thought of time going on forever is also really unsettling. So I don’t think there is a happy solution for me 😂

It's like the time before you were born - you won't have been aware of any of it .