To think kids simulating a violent crime isn’t family fun?

[Greyrocked]

Increasingly I’m seeing young children dressed as if they have been murdered, sexually assaulted or are a violent criminal for Halloween. I don’t see what is good family fun about glorifying violence. One of my children is adopted and increasingly we can’t go anywhere at half term as violent scenes trigger their PTSD. Even family attractions aimed at young children seem to think it’s fine to display really scary images.

AIBU?

trigger warning Can't speak for the OP but for thoes asking, i saw the male hockey team at a university dess as sexual assault victims last year. Predominantly they wore short skirts with fake blood down their thighs. Some had fake boobs with scratches marks on them, others had strangle 'bruises' on thier necks. All out in public, late afternoon far anyone to see. It was fucking vile.

The girl I saw had bruises and bite marks on her face, a hand print on her neck and torn clothes with dirt and blood on. She was about 10, no more than 13. During the day. It was a very out of place costume though, all the other kids were in normal shop type costumes.

It was in the 80s when I saw a young child in the primary school playground wearing a jacket with a picture of Freddy Krueger on the back.

This wasn't even at Halloween. I often wondered where on earth they got it from and who made such a thing in a child size.

Jeez, I am usually pretty easy going about stuff but this really is way too far!

No I’m talking about young girls dressed as they they have been violently assaulted with clothes ripped and fake injuries to their neck, chest or inner thighs. Apologies that my language offended I should have been more precise but was trying not to be too graphic. I realise many women who experience SA don’t look like this stereotype and may have no obvious ‘signs’.

Wtf?

I saw a child a small group of children out with their parents trick or treating. One boy, who couldn’t have been more than 3 or 4, was dressed as Chucky 😳.

Yes, in a neighbouring front garden there was a body shape wrapped in bin bags, taped to a chair. I wasn't keen.

Maybe it will be recycled as a Guy.

I perfected my recipe for blood (red food colouring and watered down melted chocolate) as a child so it's just tradition as far as I'm concerned. Yes, it's a weird tradition when you examine it but I think it only bothers the very few.

I'm sorry to hear it's upset your DC though.

Local to me I saw a pretend body wrapped in black bin liners hung upside down. It was outside a persons home as part of their Halloween lawn display. Really nota great theme for the season.

Also the local butcher had illustrations in his window of severed heads on hooks. What an idiot.

I personally prefer a cute pumpkin face.

Some may not have been dressed as SA victims... my dd9 was very insistent on using a fork and red face paint to create scratch marks over her face to look like she'd been in a fight with a bear. Entirely her idea, and she did a pretty good job!

What sort of things do you mean? I think people have very different views on what is inappropriate for Halloween!

This last week we’ve been to multiple events at a castle, a local visitor attraction, a garden centre and the village party plus trick or treating and seen just the standard kids Halloween costumes, some cute, some with fake blood but nothing that ‘wouldn’t be allowed before the water shed’.

I did see a dog dressed as Chucky that DD5 loved, but she also loves Hocus Pocus and The Nightmare before Christmas so doesn’t scare easily 🎃

I agree op, Olde wolde Halloween for little ones surely.. If teens want to go a party dressed like that, fine.

Agree.

In my 20s I went to a private adult Halloween party dressed as a Vampire's victim. Two puncture wounds on the neck, white make up, slightly tatty Victorian style nightgown, with "Vampire" boyfriend in tow. A standard Gothic trope.

It's perfectly clear that what the OP and others are expressing concerns about is not that sort of thing.

And the OP raises a good point. It has taken years for rape victims to be taken seriously, rape within marriage was only outlawed in the 90s I think, and thanks to a society that saw women as possessions and objects in legal terms for centuries, it has taken too long for people thankfully unaffected to realise that not all victims look the way people think they should. This unpleasant "trend" harks back to those standards and that if there's no obvious signs of violence they might be lying or couldn't have fought back hard enough.

The more I'm thinking about it, the angrier I feel. It is something that should examined and nipped in the bud, especially with the increased awareness and proliferation of VAWG. And I'd feel the same about similar if it concerned male victims, whom I aware do exist.

There should be limits in society. I'm pro freedom of expression in many ways, and not unfamiliar with edgy lifestyles chosen by hopefully fully informed adults. As mentioned, I've dipped my toe in the fetish scene, but it's been in adult environments, carefully controlled with no photography and strict rules around consent. It's never going to be entirely without risk, but adults are allowed to make their own decisions about exposure to risk.

Children can't.

The "pearl clutching" insinuations are unnecessary. There should be a line drawn somewhere, and costumes on children that mix subtle titillation with violent themes that pose a real life risk is it, IMHO.

Dear God, that is horrific. What parent in their right mind allows a kid to dress up like that?

Sending very best wishes to your sister 💐

As though only cheerleader types or women that wear revealing clothing gets sexually assaulted. This panders to the myth that sexual assault is about being attractive or wearing provocative clothing.

Halloween is supposed to be scary. Literally the whole point.

However, there are now a multitude of non-scary, family themed events and activities on all over the place. Pumpkin picking, pumpkin trails, treasure hunts etc, that would be much more enjoyable for a child with PTSD. Suppose it depends where you have been taking the child.

I can't speak for the OP but like pp I have seen a number of young women and girls with very realistic SFX makeup to simulate strangulation finger marks on the neck and hand prints or bruising to simulate a blow to the face, along with torn clothing. It would be more accurate to describe this as simulating violent assault rather than sexual assault but IME it's predominantly girls who are dressing up in this way. I haven't seen it on any boys.

I’m with you that it’s gone a bit too far

One house near me had a baby doll hanging by its neck out of an upstairs window 😳

Also several houses with legs/arms sticking out from under the car. Body bags a plenty

And 10/11 yr old kids dressed as Jason or Pennywise - having probably (hopefully) not seen the movies

Having said that DD age 9 was set on dressing as a zombie cheerleader (didn’t in the end but her friends did). It didn’t occur to me that the fake injuries could look like sexual assault. Just that they’d been attacked/killed by a zombie!!

IME it's predominantly girls who are dressing up in this way. I haven't seen it on any boys

This is true and a good point

I absolutely agree with you op.

Wow that's shocking and a new low as far as I'm concerned. Vile, misogynistic and trashy.

It’s really hard to protect your DC from it. I had really sensitive kids with a trauma history.

All the shop assistants, every pub, every venue is decorated full on Halloween. Now, most of that is fairly age appropriate- though still upsetting for mine, who found the whole thing distressing- but it’s not in any way avoidable.

How people who lost loved ones to suicide cope with the hanging bodies I dont know. And it’s on your street, you have to walk past it to come and go. Let alone the crash victims and crime victims.

That’s apart from the choices made for individual children- dead bride (aged 7)?

I know what you mean. I am on a virtual world program, and it seems to be the fashion for both males and females to have black eyes, cuts on the face with plasters on, stab wounds, blood spilling off of their t-shirts, bruises on the legs, bloodshot eyes from trauma, cut lips, I could go on for ages. I don't think many think about this 'trend'. They just do it. It has a very negative undercurrent of normalising domestic violence or violence towards people in general. They will wear this 'look' with very provocative clothing. I find the association very disturbing.