Husband has no interest at all

[emotional1]

I sit downstairs every evening by myself after working full time all day. He never acknowledges me when he comes in from work, gies upstairs every evening and lies down to watch telly and stays there all evening. I’m totally pissed off and want to end our marriage of 23 years but all attempts to discuss anything ends in an argument. I have no connection to him at all and am very depressed. I have raised our 4 children myself without hardly any help from him. Should I stay or go. I’m 56 yrs old and scared stiff of leaving my home. He pays a contribution to ou koint account but I have always paid fo Christmas myself. I lonw he has 500k stashed away but he won’t discuss any anything with me without it ending in arguments. Advice appreciated

• Gather all financial documentation - investments, pensions, assets - everything.
• Make a list and have a look at Form E.
• Educate yourself - Wikivorce, Divorce for Dummies, family solicitors websites.
• Go and see an experienced family solicitor.

You need to separate, no good is happening here. I see similarities in my marriage, thats not good. If you divorced it should be split 50/50. Try and get evidence of his accounts and pension. Hire a good solicitor.

As they say here. Get your ducks in a row then tell him you think it's time to go your separate ways.

Go discuss it with a solicitor instead of him. ASAP.

Who cares if it ends in arguments? It's better than never ending indifference, it's time to end it! Speak to the solicitor first though

So sorry, OP. 😕 It’s really rotten for you. I’ve not got any better advice than what’s already been given. Just want to give you a hug. xx

You don't need to discuss it with him - you need to gather as much financial evidence you can of all assets and go and see a solicitor. Once you have a plan, leave him a letter on his bed upstairs saying as we can't seem to have an adult conversation about this, I am letting you know that I have filed for divorce.

It sounds like the marriage has been over for a while OP and you just need to get on and end it formally. Go and see your GP too about feeling depressed - it's not surprising that you're feeling low. Get some support from good friends or family.

This is the hard part so gather your strength and get through it. On the other side you can make your life what YOU want - find some happiness again. You can do this and it will be worth it 💐

Doesn't he want to divorce? Is that what he argues about?

Get yourself aĺl prepared and just tell him you're ready to separate. From the sound of it, there's no point to your marriage anymore. What happens over the weekend, if neither of you works?

A divorce solicitor will guide you.

This with bells on, and may I add that until you do the above I see no need to discuss anything with your stbxH.
See where you stand first and what your options are, make up your mind, Then tell him what you are going to do.
This based on the fact that from your post it does not seem like there is any chance of salvaging your relationship- but your mental health should be saved.

take back your life.please.
see legal rep-kick the ball on park and dont be afraid. good luck x

yes this is your answer OP.

56 is still young enough to go and have a good life.

You don't need his permission to see a solicitor, to file for divorce, to reclaim your life.

What a shit he is!

See a solicitor. Make a plan. You don't need permission.

Have a look on here @emotional1 you can do some of it yourself. I did all of mine. Obviously it would help if you could agree finances as if you can’t agree then every letter/action costs money if a solicitor does it.

https://www.gov.uk/divorce/file-for-divorce

How does one gather all information of someone's assets, pension etc without the other person knowing about it?!

You don't need his permission to file for divorce. You can just do it.

Gather as much information as you can and find a good solicitor ASAP. Any money will be shared between you. Don't argue about money with him, just say your solicitors told you not to discuss it.

I don't know how you put up with that long but a brighter future awaits you!

I'd love to know what he argues about when you say you should split up.

Does he really think that you would want to stay married to him?

£500k. Kaching! Divorce him and enjoy taking half. He sounds like a miserable bugger. He’ll only get worse. Get out now before it’s too late.

This is the hardest bit. Lawyer up and get ready to be happy again!!

@emotional1 imagine no longer working. You are both in the house 24/7 together. Alone. For another 20 or 30 years.

You already lead separate lives in the same house.Why not live separately and be happy?

Seek a free initial appointment with a solicitor.
Start plans moving.
Stop trying to discuss it with him and just take action.

I'm assuming he wants to maintain the status quo to keep his money and still have a live in housekeeper.

If he's working all day then spending the rest of his time relaxing watching TV then I'm assuming he's not pulling his weight domestically.

Get evidence of all bank accounts. Business records. Speak to a solicitor before you speak to him. If he's hiding money you don't want him to have a head start.

That's no life Op, he's more like a lodger than a DH. Divorce is easier than living like this forever, you're stuck now but once you get the legalities going you'll be fine

Life is too short to be miserable & unhappy !

File for divorce yourself

You do not need his permission to file for divorce

Get all your financial info together

Start planning an exciting new life !