To think that people overuse therapy as a solution for every problem?

[SnugOtter]

It feels like therapy is recommended for every small issue - are we too quick to turn to it?

Who are you to say what a small challenge is for someone?

Genuinely, please?

You mentioned work related stress in earlier post.

I've spent most of the last 12 months off for work related stress, when most of my colleagues coped fine. Do you know what facing the stress without therapy gave me? PTSD. Actual flashbacks, nightmares, insomnia, anxiety, panicky PTSD. So, facing things without the necessarily skills or toolkits doesn't build resilience. It creates trauma because it breaks down resilience.

I'm positive for many people they'd be able to shrug off the things that caused my stress easily, because they may naturally have adapted and developed the tools to manage the situation that I haven't. The event that catalysed everything for me was a phone call.

You seem to be very narrow minded when it comes to the impact of the struggles people face. It could be a singular or series of small events, that have caused a death by a thousand papercuts situation.

You should focus more on why you don't think it's appropriate to reach out for help before a problem spirals into something unmanageable, that why other people have found the strength to reach out for help for things that could be perceived as insignificant by those externally.

My ultimate goal for my clients is that they learn to trust their inner resilience.

goodness, indeed? that is so harsh
I come from a long line of very devoted families to their own, no therapy for love

I'm so sorry you're experiencing this. I agree work related stress can be very traumatic. I hope you're getting some support now 💐

That’s a good point. I agree that therapy can indeed build resilience. I guess my question is about balance - using therapy as one tool among others, rather than the only one. For many, therapy can strengthen self-reliance, but I think there’s also value in learning to cope with smaller challenges outside of that setting when possible. Both approaches can be beneficial, and maybe it’s about finding a mix that encourages growth and independence.

Because therapy is not a "solution " or a "fix" in any context.

It's about protecting your resilience and small things can build up and wear that down over time. Giving yourself space in the midst of the business of live to process things that are happening and to really hear yourself think and reflect on that. People do this in different ways, for some it might be art or walking etc but for some people it's about being heard by another person who they can trust to accept them as they are.

Thank you. I've had a stint of therapy and I've got ongoing GP care and I'm extremely grateful to have family support too. I know I'm really lucky on that front.

The thing is, smaller challenges on a background of trauma, ACEs, abuse etc can seem/be insurmountable. Therapy can help deal with that background, and by extension, the smaller challenges will be just that. A small challenge.

Of course there are other tools, and people should do whatever works for them and keep trying if they need help. Even if it is for a "bad week " at work.

I’m genuinely sorry to hear about the difficulties you’ve faced. I understand that everyone has different thresholds for what might feel overwhelming or manageable, and sometimes what seems minor can build up or trigger something deeper. My intention wasn’t to diminish anyone’s challenges, but rather to open a conversation on how we support resilience alongside therapy. I agree that early support can prevent bigger issues, and I’m glad therapy has been there for you and others who need it.

As somebody that watches the movies a lot I noticed how many times Americans would go to therapy and growing up in the uk never knew anyone that had or that had told me. So I would say quite the opposite us in Britain prob don’t go enough. Yes it’s getting more popular but for some of us that prob do need it you don’t get it so maybe for rich people yes but on the whole I would say we need more

This is such a weird post. I imagine there are more people NOT in therapy that should be, than the other way around!

I listened to a really good podcast recently about some psycho therapist who convinced clients of abuse that didn't happen. There was incredibly abusive, coercive behaviour alongside it.

I was wondering OP if you're thinking about what seems to be a huge increase in adult children going NC with their parents. I've read a few articles talking about this. You can bet your bottom dollar this isn't a fad but rather a vast swathe of parents really have been emotionally abusive, refuse to acknowledged any of it, and now with greater access to information and therapy ( privately if you can afford), we know better.

There will always be some problem with this though as I understand almost anyone can set themselves up in private practice - which is very concerning.

Absolutely a good therapist who works well with a client is like gold, and absolutely therapy done well, and really engaged with, is really hard. It can also be absolutely transformative. The people who are casually denigrating of therapy have either never done it, done it in a half-assed way,mor been poorly-matched with a therapist?

Growing up I was told over and over again that mental health issues were for bored housewives (depression), rich people and the "proper nutters in the asylum".

And of course, that as a child I had nothing to be depressed about.

I did develop a very dark sense of humour though.

I found your posts really offensive OP and think you should be absolutely ashamed of yourself.

I sought therapy due to work related stress - my manager sexually harassed me. What did you want me to do instead of therapy exactly? I took legal action which was also stressful. What exactly do you think work related stress is and why are you assuming it has to be frivolous? It’s not normal for work to impact your health.

In any case, I’d much rather people proactively sought help for their mental health as opposed to refuse to get help for their mental health. It’s the responsible thing to do. Let’s not act like mental health treatment isn’t associated with stigma. A lot of generations chose to disregard mental health and continued poor behaviours, which likely led to things getting worse for them and younger generations.

Yes that resonates that line about as a child I remember now being told that I was also told by grandad when bored to go play on the motorway to in some ways we are more resilient then some of the youngsters but in other ways some of us are a bit fucked lol

I agree that early support can prevent bigger issues

But you're also saying that people are overusing therapy.

You can't say therapy is overused but also acknowledge that it's good to have early support to prevent bigger issues. If prevention is better than a cure then surely more people should be going to therapy not people should use therapy less?

I appreciate your perspective, but I want to clarify that my post isn’t about adult children going no contact with their parents. I recognise that this isn’t a fad; I’ve experienced emotional abuse myself and sought therapy for it. My intention was to discuss the role of therapy in managing life’s challenges, not to invalidate anyone’s experiences or struggles.

My intention was to discuss the role of therapy in managing life’s challenges, not to invalidate anyone’s experiences or struggles.

That's exactly what you're doing by deeming certain (vague) issues not significant or worthy enough to tackle in therapy. Or by claiming that therapy is overused, the implication being that it's not needed.

I believe that early support is crucial in preventing larger issues, but my concern is that therapy can sometimes be overused for challenges that might be managed independently. The goal is to encourage people to develop their coping skills while still valuing therapy as a resource. There needs to be a balance where therapy compliments personal growth, rather than becoming the sole solution for every difficulty.

@SnugOtter ok that gives more detail. It sounds like your experience possibly isn't as great as it could be. You need to match completely with the right person and be prepared to go deep in an uncomfortable way to unraveling alot of crap you probably don't even realise drives everything.

A part of me can understand that there's definitely the potential to really want that special unique place in your life ( the great therapist) forever, and a time could come where you can't keep going anymore for whatever reason. For me for example, no one will ever ever compare to the person I found and have been with over 10 years.
So one day, I'll have to do it without them. That might be tough.
This part is one element I could take from your post and see something in.

What challenges? What challenges specifically have you witnessed therapy being used for that you think people should be bio engineered to have a natural resiliency to?

Who is spending money or being accepted for an NHS referral for these?

I’m not sure I’ve ever known anyone to seek out therapy for a ‘small’ problem. Have you encountered many?

Everyone I know who has accessed therapy has done so due to a life-impacting issue.

I’m not sure if someone who isn’t a mental health professional is even qualified to diagnose what is ‘small’ or ‘large’ problem any way. Who is entitled to judge what any individual required help for and why?

I do think self-built resilience is often a thing available to the most privileged – having a supportive partner and family, either happily child free or with neurotypical children to allow the room for self care, the finances to afford time off work when needed for self care. How does one have the time and mental energy to robustly build self resilience without those in place? And if someone has very little of that, I’m not sure I could ever begrudge them for seeking out professional services.

OP you haven't actually described how 'resilience' can be built other than by reading a book or talking to a friend. I find the use of the word resilience so offensive already as it already carries judgement.

It's naive to think a book or a friend can provide what a therapist can. I cannot shake the feeling there is someone in your life you absolutely resent for going to therapy for something 'minor' (in your opinion).

Respectfully, consider that you do not have the full picture. Id never tell a friend the ins and outs of why I went to therapy, simply because it can't be done in an hour and it is so incredibly complex that I can almost not explain it exactly the way I experience it. It's deeply personal too and it also makes absolutely no sense to try to explain it to someone who maybe hasn't experienced it. So I keep my explanations brief.

My friends know I have 'family issues'. You sound like one of those people that would say 'cant she just sort it with her family then'.

I think you may have misunderstood me. My therapist has been great, and I was in intense therapy with her for quite a while, addressing significant issues. I still see her occasionally when things come up because I wouldn’t want to go to anyone else. I appreciate your perspective on the relationship with a therapist, but my experience has been positive and impactful.