To think that people overuse therapy as a solution for every problem?

[SnugOtter]

It feels like therapy is recommended for every small issue - are we too quick to turn to it?

Therapy is extremely difficult. In a way someone is just trying to help you cure yourself. And often no cure is possible, just improvement. I cannot describe the amount of 'strength' therapy takes to achieve meaningful change. And I don't like the word strength because it suggests that some may have not been strong enough to achieve that which simply isn't true.

I well matched therapist is like gold.

Watched a fantastic podcast about the fact it's sociopathic/narcissistic/ abusive parents that drive all these people into therapy.

The perpetrators are very unfairly the ones who sleep well at night.

The NHS offers a lot more than CBT. My dc have had highly specialised therapies from highly qualified professionals.It has been a massive battle at times to get it though .

Spot on. I keep wondering why I ended up with major sleeping problems from a young age as the only one from my family. I literally have no clue how they sleep so soundly. Id say it is denial but even so, their system just know somehow that something is up. I have no idea.

It depends on the type of therapy. Over the last couple of years I've had sessions with a solution focused hypnotherapist - they don't go into your past and unravel it all - although past events can sometimes be useful to remember/discuss. They concentrate on what is right with you, your strengths, the positive side of you and help you build on that to achieve what you want to achieve. It certainly works for me.
https://www.afsfh.com/what-is-solution-focused-hypnotherapy/

Therapy is a tool. Not everyone reacts in the exact same way to medication (for physical issues) . For some they work great, for some they don't work at all, for some they only work a little bit, but not enough to make a difference etc. Does that mean that people shouldn't try taking them?

@SnugOtter i would say a lack of larger/close family connection as well as a lack of religious leadership might play a role.
i suspect 50+ years ago women might discuss stress and trauma with their sisters cousins and aunts and some to the parish minister.
i think there were as many "therapists" around then as there are now, just that the role is now more formalized.

Yeah.. and be told to put up and shut up, so everyone can pretend it's not happening.

Oh, the good old days. 🥰

I also think the collective/ mob gaslighting was off the scale in the past; those good old days......

The priest did something inappropriately to Jonny? Don't be so ridiculous you terrible child, stop lying.

You aren't happy with how your husband treats you? What are you failing to do to provide for him? Are you ensuring you're meeting his needs?

Oh your child is Autistic? Well that's because frigid mothers are responsible for causing Autism and you need try harder.

I mean I could go on, but what choice was there but to paint a smile and live in the delusion back then. There was no other safe space to go for most I imagine.

Self help books don't provide support. They don't validate you, challenge your misconceptions or address your particular issue. Peers often try hard but give the wrong kind of support by drawing comparisons with their own usually irrelevant situation. Or they offer unhelpful advice rather than working through the issue to empower the person to find their own solutions. Also a lot of people have their own issues and don't want to take on other people's.

Decent therapists are very good at helping people to build resilience and introduce better coping strategies and in supporting clients to make desirable lifestyle changes.

How many therapists have you actually seen yourself to know so much about it?

At least they weren't exorcised? Look on the bright side.

🤣 small mercies and all

What do you think the danger or problem is from ‘overusing’ therapy, OP?

No, it wasn’t meant to be goady. Someone asked about the negative impact counselling can have and I replied about google but it looked abrupt on its own. I remembered that interview and thought it was an interesting read and one the poster might like to look up. Last time I try to be helpful, then!

Therapy is a tool. The work is done outside the session more than inside of it. Lifestyle changes are often needed and therapy can support that.
Personally, ive been in therapy for a decade. In therapy dealing with all the shit people who need therapy, did to me. Emotional immaturity and an inability to regulate emotions is passed down to each generation, therapy can help stop that cycle. You can learn self awareness and how to regulate.
I’m in it because of child sexual exploitation and navigating my life after that and becoming estranged from family.

My parents thought just like you. They just dumped all their issues onto their children. Their friends would have said they were happy too. Because they didn't see the screaming and hitting at home. Hence my years of therapy.

Completely as a result in my view I have two very well adjusted adult children.

Agorophobia is a very severe issue in some cases. It can be very deep rooted. No-one is saying psychotherapy works for everyone. Would you say though that a drug was useless if it only helped 80% of people? Also you probably know lots of people that have benefitted from therapy - they just haven't told you about it because of judgments like yours.

I think the concern is that relying on therapy as a ‘go-to’ for every life bump might discourage people from building their own coping mechanisms or resilience. Therapy is incredibly valuable, especially for significant issues, but when it’s used for smaller challenges that might be managed independently, there’s a risk of fostering dependency. Ideally, therapy compliments our own strengths, rather than replacing the tools we might develop ourselves.

I think therapy is a tool.
Not everyone has been raised with the tools they need to deal with life and therapy gives them a tool kit.
I'm a huge advocate of relationship therapy. It's saved my marriage twice as we had individual therapy when young to work out what we wanted from a relationship then joint counselling to gives us the tools to communicate better and be happier.

Where's your evidence that people just use therapy for every life bump? That's not the experience from the actual therapists on here.

@SnugOtter still waiting for a concrete example of people going to therapy for every life bump.

I'm a therapist. I have a whole drawer full of cards and letters from clients who I have helped along their journey. Therapy is hard. I have the utmost respect and admiration for those who come and work with such determination.

The running to therapy idea wouldn't be facilitated on the NHS. So if someone were to run to a therapist so to speak with each problem, then they're paying at least £45-50 for the pleasure.

If that is how it's being used, it's no big deal really if someone is paying for a service.

What is really happening however, is more likely that someone has had a lifetime of issues they've had thrust upon them which has impacted how they have grown into adults. That includes self soothing, resilience, all sorts of problems that again seem minor but are rooted in something very significant.

I think you're missing the point or you're slightly in denial regards the true impact of what people, maybe yourself, have been subject to in their lives, probably formative years mainly.

I started couples therapy about 6 months ago because things were fairly shit in my marriage. Prior to this I would have said I didn’t need therapy at all. I’m a successful professional - happy home, 20 yr marriage, great kids. I felt like you that people could just work stuff out on their own… Seeing our therapist has been incredibly eye opening. I’ve learned so much about myself. I’ve made so many changes in the way I approach things and I’ve learned to be so much kinder to myself. Our therapist has changed my life in six months and I feel like we’re barely scratched the surface. I am lucky we can afford to see her and I think going to her is one of the best things I’ve ever done. So actually I think everyone should go to therapy - because life is hard - I’m privileged to be able to afford this luxury.

Do you ever consider that therapy builds resilience and more self reliance for future issues? And if one is unable to build any self reliance from an earlier bout of therapy, wouldn’t it be fair to assume that individual would tend not to be successful in developing those tools independently anyway? Therefore what’s the difference?

This case was many years ago and like medical treatment knowledge about trauma has moved on based on research. It used to be believed that a detailed debrief immediately after a traumatic event would be therapeutic. This is no longer the approach taken as it was found to retraumatise.

It is not a general argument against all kinds of therapy.