Weird old lady

[Nowayvenus]

Do you think this is weird? Went shopping with my boys, as we went to the till to pay a little old lady went up to my youngest saying that he looked cheeky and grabbed his wrist to pull him towards her, I think she was going to pinch his cheeks. He backed away so I said he was shy and kept between them, so she then started on my eldest. I said he was shy too and moved us all away to another till.
I know she probably didn’t mean any harm but it freaked me out.

I agree. I hope I’m that awesome when I reach my 80s!

It's lovely that that brightened her day.

My weird old lady late mother was always delighted to see children - she would talk, smile, wave & do an occasional dance to engage with them.
She wasn’t weird - It was dementia - her boundaries were blurred & she often mistook them for her own children & their friends

she meant no harm & fortunately most people were compassionate

Thank you. It really did. And the cute (blankie weilding, looked like my big brother when he was a blondie) toddler didn’t seem to scarred by the interaction with the Old Lady in the Electric Wheelchair. Everyone was a winner!

That’s lovely to hear ❤️

Most people have no issue with people interacting with their children but touching is a different thing altogether.

We teach children bodily autonomy for their own safety and because we love and respect them. How can you teach children that no one should touch them but then allow random people in a cafe to do so? I know the vast majority of people mean no harm but their feelings are irrelevant. I'm not going to sit by and teach my child "it's ok that random woman grabbed you and tried to pull you away from mummy because shes old" because frankly it's not ok and what sort of message does that send?

Parents arent paranoid for wanting to teach children that they have just as much right to their own body as an adult does.

Dementia is different case altogether but if you see a parent or gparent about to do this then stop them and correct them.

You mean how dare she put her hands on OPs child and make them uncomfortable.

Could have cognitive decline. Could have dementia. Lack of boundaries and awareness with both sadly.

The 'weird old lady' is probably telling her family this evening about her strange encounter with a weird stand offish family at the supermarket today. Chill!

@Bababear987 I dunno. Not an expert. But I’ve seen, taught, experienced stepping in to shield a child from a misjudged ‘kind’ touch and knowing when the hackles are raised and you have to protect them. Teaching children about eh frailties of old age from a young age is no bad thing.

Back in the seventies and eighties, interactions like this with "weird old ladies" were a dailiy occurance. I suggest you do some work on your resilience! 😂😂

Why is no one pointing out this is so obviously not normal behaviour that most likely explanation is that the lady had cognitive and disinhibition issues associated with aging. Let’s stop with the weird comments .

yes, it is not acceptable . Yes it’s right that children have boundaries. Yes it sounds like OP , whilst shocked, took a sensible option to remove herself and her children from the situation.

my poor dad has just died from LBD. He was mild mannered and gentle. Until he began to mentally decline. He was doing very strange things, and he became quite disinhibited at times early on. That included saying random bizarre stuff to people, or seeing things that weren’t there . We had no idea despite seeking medical advice what was going on as mos5 of time he was fine, till it was quite persistent. Towards the end he was delusionally agressive and violent- but by then was sectioned with a deprevation of liberty in place. One thing I learnt is that the prefrontal cortex is the last part of brain to develop in our 20s and most likely to be effected first by cognitive decline with age. The pre frontal cortex is important for cognitive control — the ability to suppress impulses in favour of more appropriate actions. If you’ve spent time in a nursing home, as I have over last 3 years, you’ll see all sorts of inappropriate behaviours from residents of stuff they’d been horrified at the thought of doing just a few years earlier.

Don't be so ridiculous.

Interacting isn't the problem here. It's the woman taking hold of a child she doesn't know that is the issue.

I’m in my 60s and we were like public property as little kids. Cheeks squished, hair smoothed, hands kissed, given food, sweets by strangers etc. I adore kids and smile and talk to them if they engage with me and their parent is ok about them doing so. The other week I did lift the woolly hat up that had slipped right over a baby’s eyes, while their mum was getting stuff further down the supermarket isle. I’d not touch a child unless they were in immediate danger, but the baby was starting to cry and wiggling her arms in distress at not being able to see all of a sudden so I decided a quick lift of her hat wasn’t too invasive.

We do have an ageing population so meet more people with dementia when we are out and about as well as maybe having relatives with Alzheimer’s or dementia and who are used to different times when it comes to kids. We can be tolerant and understanding but there’s boundaries where no one should be expected to allow their children to be grabbed or touched randomly or distressed by someone’s behaviour. Its not a good example to set to allow them to be manhandled by anyone who thinks they’re little and cute.

@Offtheroof I hope to meet you in real life and slap you across the bum and give it a good squeeze. After all sexual assault against women was much more acceptable in the 70s/80s right? It can build your resilience 😂😂

This sort of thing doesn’t bother me at all.

I used to hate random elderly people poking at me as a small child. As much as it enriches the day of the elderly person you weren't wrong in prioritising your kids by shielding them.

(One of my earliest memories is of a strange old whiskery lady nose to nose with me while I was left outside the shop in my buggy, i was terrified (showing my age here 🤣).

Omg she was old?? Ewwwwww. I hope you’re okay hun. She probably lives in a gingerbread house.

Yet another thread I click on just to find out if it's about me.

I'm guessing weird because she likes to grab random kids, old because she's well...old and lady because she's female? 😂

Maybe she had dementia? I was in a cafe with my 4 yo dd recently and an older man was asking me loads of questions about her. When his daughter came back she said to me 'sorry he has dementia'

Weird old ladies and sexual assault are not quite the same thing, but I imagine, or at least I hope, you are intelligent enough to understand the difference! 😂😂😂

Au contraire @Offtheroof - it’s all the same in the world of the perpetually offended.

As a mother, you have a responsibility to teach your children that all adults have the right to touch them whenever they want. And if the child is "shy" or refuses to go near the stranger, you must teach them that they are being rude. Children exist to make adults smile.

Or not... you could do exactly what you did and protect them from the paws of weird strangers.

"But it was normal back in the day" yeah, so was Jimmy Saville and all the other creepy paedos!

FGS, the old lady is Jimmy Saville now!