6yo too scared to be on his own and it's driving me mad

[Squirrelz5]

My 6yo is very scared all the time in the house. He will not stay downstairs on his own if I am upstairs and vice versa. On a bad day he won't even go in a separate room. He follows me everywhere and it drives me nuts. I've tried talking to him about what he is scared of, showing him the thing he's scared of is safe (aka if he says he's scared of under the bed I will literally crawl under there to show him it's fine), I've read up about multiple tips online none of which help. This has been going on for weeks now. I have days where I feel like I'm going to explode and I'm finding being sympathetic and reassuring through gritted teeth exhausting. Sometimes I just want to scream 'there's nothing in the bloody house!!!' but of course never would.

Has anyone had similar? Was it a short phase?

What triggered it? Something has obviously happened.

Apparently someone at school talking about the sasquatch

I’d be more concerned about finding out what’s triggered this in my 6 year old, tbh.

X post!

Has he tried drawing it? Sometimes physically separating imagination from reality can help

Tell him there's nothing scarier than a mum defending her baby, so there's no need for him to be scared when you're in the house as you're the scariest thing there is. All he needs to do is call you and you'll come ( but you do need to do this for the first few weeks!)

In our experience it was a phase. It lasted a while and reared it's head again every year when the clocks changed and all the Halloween stuff was around. It got better every year though.

He says it's because someone at school was telling him about the sasquatch. I've talked to him about how they aren't real. I've told him it's OK to be scared, never scold him for it. I've got him a night light. I've tried using positive imagery. He doesn't watch any scary content, he's definitely not exposed to it by me (he's still mainly on Bluey and paw patrol).

Have you tried ‘monster spray‘ or anything like that?

People disagree with it because it means that theoretically if you don’t spray it, it could mean monsters will be in the room!!! … but if you’re desperate it might help and he might slowly forget about it.

Drawing monsters or playing with monster teddies can also help separate it as a ‘game’ rather than real.

It will be a phase. I'd keep reassuring as you've been doing and let him follow you. It's good he told you about Sasquatch. I remember my now strapping 18 year old being terrified when he was around 6 for weeks about slenderman. Kids have extraordinary imagination and still learning what is real and unreal.

Can you explain about the sasquatch, it doesn't live here it lives in forests (assuming you don't live in a forest). It's too big to live in a house, it can't hide anywhere, etc. Find out exactly what it is about it that frightens him and tackle that aspect.

I'm worried that asking him to draw it will just draw more attention to it, equally I don't want to just ignore it.

To be honest I've just told him it's not real and is only real on books and in tv.

Not that I'm advocating gaming or anything, as your DS is so young, but if he's already allowed to game, there's a sneaky Sasquatch game on Apple Arcade that my DC love!

My DS went through the same at a similar age. I can't remember what specific thing (if anything) triggered it. It lasted til he was about 9. He wouldn't go upstairs or downstairs on his own, he'd make his little sister go with him.
If your son is scared of a specific thing, I think you're doing the right thing, reassuring him it's not real etc.
I get it's annoying at the moment, but he'll grow out of it.
My DS is mid teens now but still doesn't like the dark. Sleeps with bedroom door ajar and the hall light on. The little sister sleeps in the pitch black with door firmly closed. Causes arguments if they share a room on holiday. Some kids have more visceral fears.

Actually avoidance makes it worse with phobias. You are better off tackling it head on. Exposure therapy is the gold standard. Let him draw it, look at pictures online, whilst at the same time doing something relaxing, I would prob do it with sweets. He will slowly stop getting the fear reaction when he thinks about the monsters etc.

I'm trying to keep him away from gaming for as long as possible! 😅

That's so interesting thank you!

My mum had similar with my brother.

Between them they designed a 'friendly monster' which my mum drew. If he was ever in danger his friendly monster would come to protect him.

I have no idea if it would work with your DC.

It might be a really silly idea but we watched Harry & the Henderson’s with the kids the other day.. Harry is a Sasquatch but he’s daft and funny and quite cute really. Maybe if you watched it together, being able to laugh at it might help detract from the scariness of the idea he has in his mind?

We had a similar issue with my DS. We had no success trying to convince him that the Monster was not real. Emotions such as fear are stronger than rational arguments. That's true for adults as well as children. What worked for us was convincing DS that our large cat had fought the monster and killed it. For the next few weeks we let DS have the cat in his bedroom at night for protection. I'm not sure if that helps.

It’s frustrating but remember you’re the adult, he’s 6 and can’t regulate his emotions and feelings like you. Just humour him, reassuring him until he’s ready.

I grew up in an old house, I fully believe now at 49yo it was haunted. I was scared at times. I actually made myself ill because I was too scared to go upstairs to the toilet on my own. I spent years as a child with uti’s and kidney infections because I’d hold my self if no one would come upstairs with me.

All my DDs have gone through clingy phases, I just reassured them they were allowed to feel the way they did and it was ok Daddy and I are always here and each phase passed.

Always dismiss scary school stories with humour turn them into something funny and they become less scary.

Maybe ‘Kill” the susquach
Give your son the power to kill it so no longer exists in his imagination in the house?

Bit out there but how about getting him to dress up as it? I bet he’d find it fun and it might just re-wire his brain to see that it’s just pretend and a bit of fun.

DD (10yo) has had same last 6m (at least) very smart girl (imho) her room across from her... getting better... obvs freaked out it being something 'darker' but can't imagine when that might have occurred, spent dozens of hours thinking about it, taken here to GP and other consultations and honestly (and i give a sh!t obvs) think is an age thing, poss in her case hormonal so maybe not same for a 6yo.... Good luck, i hope (and expect) it will pass (albeit i am no expert, just a parent of 3....)

Has he seen Monsters Inc? Scary monsters turn out to be not at all scary, and are more frightened of children.

Or perhaps a binge-watching session of Scooby Doo - all the monsters turn out to be evil real estate developers in masks...