6yo too scared to be on his own and it's driving me mad

[Squirrelz5]

My 6yo is very scared all the time in the house. He will not stay downstairs on his own if I am upstairs and vice versa. On a bad day he won't even go in a separate room. He follows me everywhere and it drives me nuts. I've tried talking to him about what he is scared of, showing him the thing he's scared of is safe (aka if he says he's scared of under the bed I will literally crawl under there to show him it's fine), I've read up about multiple tips online none of which help. This has been going on for weeks now. I have days where I feel like I'm going to explode and I'm finding being sympathetic and reassuring through gritted teeth exhausting. Sometimes I just want to scream 'there's nothing in the bloody house!!!' but of course never would.

Has anyone had similar? Was it a short phase?

A lot of fear is of the unknown. I agree exposure will help. Let him learn more about it. That sightings have all been in North America/Canada but no one has ever proved it’s real. Scientists believe it’s people being mistaken or just making it up.

The exposure therapy is gold standard for addressing anxiety, its best to scaffold into it.

So you are in a room doing something and he has to stay in the doorway with the door open for 5 mins before he can come in the room for cuddles and praise, then 10 mins, then 15 mins…its a good time for him to practice his reading or sums. Then he goes back to 5 mins but he has to be in the other room, but you can be in view, then up the time. Then go to in the next door room but out of sight, and up the times. Then try door closed with you chatting to each other, then door closed without chatting. Etc etc

The more you practice the easier it will get

I think it's very common in kids of that age, my daughter was like this for a couple of years (luckily she shared a room with her sister) and nothing I said or did made it any better, I just had to let her grow out of it unfortunately. She's now a teenager and doesn't like being in the same room as anyone for very long 😂

I don't know if you remember "momo" a few years ago? It was supposed to be all over the internet - a weird face picture/sculpture thing based on a famous picture.

It was talked about at school. I bet my ds was about 6 at the time. He was utterly terrified to the point I had to go to bed with him to get him to sleep. Turned out I was just about the only parent in the class who hadn't told their child about it.

I persuaded him to have a look at a picture on my phone (so a small picture, not on an iPad or laptop). Took the heat out of things in seconds. Nowhere near as bad as what he was imagining.

The anticipation/fear of something all the kids in his class were worrying about was truly awful for him but he was ok after that x

Mine wasn’t ever this scared of imaginary things so this may not work, but someone at school told him a scary story about a statue in a basement that kept moving when he didn’t look at it and it was keeping him awake.
We tackled it with humour. I told him to imagine the statue shrinking so it was absolutely tiny and then kicking it out of the window (trying to make it jokey) then we started talking about all the things we could do to it now it was tiny. We talking about flushing it down the toilet ‘with all the wee and poo’ and all sorts of other stuff. By the end of it, we were both in absolutely stitches and it never bothered him again

Could you do similar? Tell him to imagine the Sasquatch shrinking until it was small enough to kick it in the bin and pour some baked beans on it or something??

When DS1 was afraid of 'monsters' at night we got him a can of 'Monster Spray'. It was basically air freshener, but was labeled and marketed as Monster Spray.

We sprayed it in his room at bedtime, it worked for him. I supposed you'd have to spritz the whole house, though.

Also, I'm in the US and there was a family movie called "Harry and the Hendersons" about a family and their encounter with a Sasquatch. I don't know if it would help him to see a 'non-threatening' Sasquatch, but if it's streaming watch it first and decide if it might help him get over his fear.

That makes sense to me. I’m terrified of daddy long legs, which is ridiculous and totally irrational. I’ve told myself that plenty of times. It makes no difference at all.

If all else fails, OP, I’d try to cope with it at least for a while - bearing in mind there will come a day when he won’t want you around … my DSs are 24 and 16.

Occasionally my grandchildren say things about “monsters” etc and about feeling afraid. I tell them there’s nothing like that in my house because I’m in charge here and I absolutely do not allow it.

I remember as a child having very strong impressions of a terrifying ‘presence’ in my home. I also suffered from awful nightmares, almost every night.

Since I became a Christian and became involved in deliverance ministry I understand what the source of these were and I forbid anything of that nature to enter my home.

We had this - it was DS2 who is generally my most anxious child .

We put some of his favourite toys to guard the under the bed area which helped .

He also went through a phase of not wanting to be on a different level to me though I can’t remember what solved it really - I think it just gradually improved .

I would be alert to the anxiety though - it’s been a real issue with DS2 though the pandemic hasn’t helped

The oldest trick in the book is of course to get him to imagine the Sasquatch on the loo …might lighten the mood too

If you want silly friendly Sasquatch books - this one is sweet - it’s a bit young for him but still fun. And the Sasquatch is a big friendly goof

www.amazon.co.uk/Dressed-Sasquatch-Hazy-Press-Monster/dp/0996578730

someone at school told him a scary story about a statue in a basement that kept moving when he didn’t look at it

That sounds like the Weeping Angels from Doctor Who. They were scary.

My girl is 6 and has intense emotions sometimes so I get you :)
We had a monster fear last year or the year before. We made some monster spray, put some signs on her door to say no monsters/aliens allowed but fairy's and cousins are 😂 then I told her no monsters are allowed in the house. I won't let them, and it was hey did sneak past me I'd punch it on the nose. Very elaborate but it eventually worked!
We also have a Yoto box that doubles up as a nightlight for bed time. I hope it fixes soon!

Watch Harry and the Hendersons, tell him that's what Sasquatch is 😄 x

I would buy a galaxy light projector for night times and find ways to relax him.

He seems to have developed separation anxiety so look into ways to deal with that.