To ask what’s been your biggest failure in life, and what (if anything) you learned from it?

[ForFlakySloth]

I’m interested to hear from others about setbacks or moments that didn’t go as planned. We all have those times we wish we could redo or just handle differently. What’s been your biggest failure in life? Did you take any lessons from it, or did it change how you approach things now?

I’d love to know if anyone else has had similar experiences and how you’ve moved forward.

My biggest failure were my A-levels.

I'd been a straight A student, got a place at a very academic sixth form, and then everything fell apart. I was exhausted from the long commute, I felt wildly out of place as a working class kid in a fairly posh school, I had to work two PT jobs to fund the transport there and allow myself to buy clothes and lunches, I didn't know how to ask for help, and I discovered alcohol, cannabis and partying.

As a result, the girl who'd been tipped for success got some fairly 'meh' results and I had no clue what to do next. I was ashamed. And lost.

This was long enough ago that I was still able to go to a good uni to do a good course even with meh results (after working for a couple of years) but it wasn't my dream uni or dream course and I do occasionally wonder what could have been if circumstances had been different... Which I know is ridiculous!

I did really well at university and in my professional exams and now have a really good career but the whole A-level experience knocked my confidence hugely. I think it still affects how I view myself and my ability to compete with peers in my career, especially when going for promotion.

The biggest failures in my life were the failures of my care givers when I was a child. As a result you could say I failed at a lot of things and failed to work things out by myself. I still do! For a lot of life I have felt like I'm on the back foot or guessing my way through, and getting from A to B has often been a complicated path with lots of steep learning curves and confusion.

But I don't think of myself as a failure for those types of failings, if that makes sense. There's a lot of regret and sadness at times but ultimately me continually failing has been part of the process of trying to fill in all the gaps I was left with.

So I suppose my answer is that my biggest failure in life was being born into a highly disfunctional, chaotic, abusive and neglectful family/situation.
And my biggest learning from that is realising it doesn't define me and that change and learning and new things are possible.

Yoga has given me that gift, as well as a whole load of therapy! 🙏

My marriage - broke spectacularly and my whole family still feeling the impact. But it was great for a long time.
Also failed at breastfeeding.

I'm a very addictive person. I'm an alcoholic who had my last drink in 1989. My big regret is that I started smoking at 17 and have been helplessly addicted ever since. Coming up 50 years.

I have COPD and I fear I'll never stop. All that money and my wrecked lungs. And yet I don't want really want to give up. It's central to my life.

Me and my husband, prestigious degrees, top unis. Work absolutely humble jobs. Career and money are not that important. Having family and people who make you warm, safe, supported, seen, heard, entertained and anchored is

Lovely ladies! These posts are so amazing they are making me cry. You are brilliant people doing your best in difficult circumstances. Don't ever stop.
Your children and people you see every day will be positively affected by you. Making the world a better place. Xxxx

I have consistently failed to value myself, my skills and talents, my intuition and preferences throughout my life

Like a pp said - I came from a very low expectation school/area and was the first in family to go to university. I've never felt like I've failed academically - even though I'm very inconsistent. It's incredibly freeing in some ways.

I feel proud to work in my job - NHS clinician. Others who do my job wanted to be doctors and their siblings are doctors - so in their family/ perspective they have failed.

Life is a lot about luck though. Being in the right place at the right time and many things are out of your control e.g your parents/ upbringing

I think I was a 'wimpy' with the Budget and I should have been a bit firmer with more incisive ideas.
I feel that I was let down badly by the people around me who should have known better, even though I didn't tell them what was going on in my head because it was as much a revelation to me as was to... well anyone, really.

There is no failure, everything that happens in our lives forms our character and helps us grow. I guess failure is making the same mistake over and over again.

the one thing I regret deeply is believing it was fine to eat lots of sugary stuff when pregnant with my first DS “because I’m putting on weight anyway and eating for 2”. I so wish I woukd have looked after myself better (as I did with ds2), perhaps he wouldn’t have had issues. (Long story!)

Allowing myself being bullied out of a job I loved at the age of 42.
Even looking back I have no idea why. Never been bullied before or since. I had just gone back to work after maternity leave.
Should have sued their arses. But I learnt that nobody had my back and my loyalty to the company was not reciprocated. I've kept that learning very close

And I have non of those qualifications yet excel in my career earning £170k plus....but zero confidence...madness 😞

Ah well, @isthatmyage, at least you can pay your bills.