Wedding Gift for boss

[TigerSteak]

I've been invited to the wedding of my boss, what's the etiquette gift-wise? She has a list with gifts ranging from £30 to £500.

I'm autistic so I just need help knowing exactly how much I should spend so I don't cause offence, help!

You spend what you can afford. If this is just a nice card then so be it. £30 is fine if you can afford it.

I wouldn’t expect any of my employees to buy me anything other than your time on the day.

Thank you for your reply!

I can afford any amount really, I'm very lucky to be comfortable financially.

I don't want to appear tight, but I don't want to go overboard and make it weird.

Then if you're going to the whole wedding including a nice meal get a gift of about £50-60. If you're bringing a partner then £100

are you the only work colleague invited?
if there's a group of you invited, discuss it with your colleagues, maybe get a joint gift - or at least an idea of what people that are in a similar situation to you and know the manager and the set up/culture of your work environment.

Just me!

It's £100 for a wedding gift.

£30 is what you spend for your bestie's birthday every year!

Yes my DH is invited too. Great, so I'll pick one of the £100 gifts!

So helpful, thank you!

LOL what?! I've been to tons of weddings and have never spent more than £50 on a gift. Even for my best friend!

Spend what you feel comfortable spending.

Don't be ridiculous

See this doesn't make sense to me; I don't have any feelings towards how much I spend, only a fear of offending or going overboard!

Genuinely (not critically), I don't understand quite. How do you know it would be possible to offend by spending too little or too much if you have no concept of spending too little or too much? If you feel that spending the wrong amount would be offensive, then what would be the offensive amounts?

Please don't listen to @Chowtime as there is no 'it's X amount for wedding and X amount for bestie' in fact I think Chow got mixed up and meant the amounts the other way around. I really despise this whole wedding gift and what has now become an ask for vouchers and honeymoon cash, genuinely think it is so crass and that invitees time to attend which usually involves transport, hotel stay (easily 150) alone, childcare maybe. I can't fathom people asking for gift on top. I would really liked to hear the alternative argument and justification from anyone soon to be married? Do you have along list of John Lewis pots and pans and bedding..::

I don't think there is any particular etiquette for wedding gifts but in the circumstances you have described I think £100 is perfect

Cover your plate is courtesy

@stichguru

because she has autism, she isn't stupid. It's perfectly possibly to know offence can be taken or a gift over the top without knowing at which price points that would be. Etiquette around these things can be hard to navigate. Your kind of attitude puts people off asking.

@TigerSteak

its good to ask when you're not sure. For me, it's a bit of a nightmare (and I don't have diagnosed Autism or anything - but I think possibly undiagnosed). I love it when people have gift lists though!! I'm hopeless at choosing gifts, but with a gift list I can just choose something I like, then decide if that feels a bit tight (and I'll choose something to go with it) or 'ouch that's a lot' (too much) and choose something else.

but I think, in your situation, about £100 sounds good, if you like one of the £100 gifts.& it's a comfortable amount for you.

I'd do £100 too for a couple

It partly depends on how much money is a lot to you and to your boss (and apso how close you are). I don't think it would be offensive, but it might be weird and excessive to spend £500 on someone unless you are really close.

As there will be two of you attending I think £100 is appropriate.

Spend what you can afford.
I usually do 50 or 100 depending on whether I am attending alone or with DP

There are so many unwritten rules with socialising that I would never know or realise unless specifically pointed out to me, but I know it's possible to offend someone, it's a myth that autism means you don't have empathy.

Because there is a gift list, I know a gift is expected - but which gift? How much do I spend, in this context as an employee?

If I spend too little, would she think I'm a horrible person - but how much is too little, £10, £100, £200?

If I spend too much, would she think I'm weird and be offended - again, how much is too much?

I wanted to check if there's a normal, usual amount for gifts, so I don't get it wrong. :)

Thank you, this explains it much better than my post!

If you can manage £75-£100 that would be lovely.