Pre-wedding email. Bit weird?

[bookworm8500]

Invited to a colleague's wedding evening do and had an email come through to all guests (unless it has just come to me 🤣). Maybe I've just hit the nail on the head 🤣

It states, amongst loads of other instructions, that,

'A small buffet will be provided. This is for all guests to enjoy, so please be considerate with your portion sizes'.

I've never seen anything like that before! AIBU to find that very weird to be on a pre-wedding email?!

Part of being a good host is anticipating what can go wrong. I.e. people eating more than their fair share.

As a pp said, sending a little note asking people to behave themselves is largely going to be ignored by the type of dickhead who would overeat anyway, meaning the nice people who don't would restrict themselves. Either way, a party invite with instructions beyond 'come at X time' is a bit miserable really.

I think it's very rudely worded

I've been to many a buffet and there are always, always those who get straight in there and pile their plates just because it's there. C'mon, I can't believe people can't see WHY this needs to be said. It shouldn't, absolutely, and I've never known anyone to actually spell it out this way to guests but I kinda admire that they have the balls to do it
It annoys me way more to see plates with food that people couldn't finish because they were simply greedy and selfish 🤷‍♀️

Nope. When telling guests it's not a full dinner what you say is "We invite you to enjoy a selection of light refreshments, light bites and appetizers after the ceremony." You could even say something like, "We haven't catered for a full dinner, but hope you enjoy the light buffet nibbles after the ceremony".

There are a dozen different ways to say it (though really it is far better manners just to shut up and feed the people you have invited without moaning about it).

And anyone who was told it was a light buffet and still pigs out will always do so no matter what you say. In fact, people who pig out will STILL do so, and all they have done is upset the decent people who would not have - which is most of them.

There is no circumstance, not one, not a single one where it is ok to tell an invited guest not to eat more than a vague amount that you might think is acceptable. Just don't invite people to eat at your party if you feel the need to harass them about it beforehand.

Sounds like they have my husband's family going. They are vultures. I have watched them at so many events over the years making sure they are first to the trough table, help themselves to plates piled high enough to feed 3 or 4 each, then sit back and watch others go without.

Is there no Fierce Aunt who can be roped in to serve guests the 2 canapés and spoonful of salad each (and hit their knuckles with the tongs if they get grabby?)

Evening only guests who hace misses the main ecent ans are also paying for their own drinks? You think cutting corners ok the food is ok?

I would definitely rethink attending. That invitation was the height of rudeness. Guests attending a wedding are making an effort to attend and going to the expense of a wedding gift and that invitation would make some people feel very unwelcome. It sounds under catered and stingy. If guests are paying for their own drinks, the least the happy couple could do is ensure that their guests are well fed and entertained. I'm sure the soon to be newly married couple are lovely people but I would be giving this wedding a miss.

Simple. Don't be a fatty.

I presume this is a UK wedding, if this was in Ireland it would be seen as unbelievably rude. Don't invite people if you can't afford/don't want to feed them. This is beyond tight. I wouldn't go if I got an email like that. So inhospitable.

Can't believe how obsessed with food a lot of people seem to be, judging by this thread. Depressing.

Can't believe how committed to poor hosting a lot of people seem to be - I can only assume that guests have gone hungry at your parties 😆

No it’s about being a good host. You want your guests to be well fed. That’s what it is about. You put their needs above your own. So food and drink were so important to us that we cut costs in other areas.

People in other countries and cultures wouldn’t dream of treating guests like this. Are they food obsessed? No they just know how to properly host a wedding.

Can't believe how committed to poor hosting a lot of people seem to be - I can only assume that guests have gone hungry at your parties 😆

Nope. We provided lots of food at our wedding buffet, there were leftovers. Then again I didn't really notice people making pigs of themselves. We had a lot of compliments on the food actually. But we certainly wouldn't have been willing to order double quantities just because some people are greedy.

We also provide food when we have parties and it always seems to be plenty. Perhaps we're just lucky to have friends who don't think the purpose of a party is to stuff your face. 😆

I’m Asian and our wedding food generosity is top notch! I’m talking about 10 courses with sharing plates enough for the whole table then some. It’s considered shame for the hosting family if you let your guest go hungry or the food is terrible.

I’ve only been to one UK wedding and the food was such a let down: tiny canapés after ceremony, small sandwiches and tea cakes for the main meal, and carbs loaded (chips, tiny burgers, hot dogs etc.) buffet in the evening. My DH went to the buffet after half an hour and there was no food left. Everything was flavourless and beige so people were just trying to fill their stomachs up.

Don’t invite people if you can’t feed them properly. Dreadful!

It not just food but booze too. Good hosts offer a couple of free bottles of wine per table. Great hosts fund the bar all night.

I can't quite tell in you're being tongue in cheek about the free bar all night. I hope so, because that would be a disgustingly grabby assumption to make.

After some videos i've seen online where bridesmaids / family / guests of weddings share the bride / grooms demands, nothing ever surprises me anymore!

Some people go a little crazy when they get married.

Friend A and I went to Friend B’s evening reception and Friend A kept complaining (to me, not to the bride) about how little good there was. She said later that she got a pizza on her way home.

Fast forward a few years to Friend A’s own wedding and there was even less food than there had been at Friend B’s wedding! No pudding, either, which to me was the worst thing of all!

It would also be considered horrifyingly rude in Scotland.

And it should be pretty much everywhere....I couldn't imagine any Irish person sending an email like that....and if they did the partner would quickly tell them to cop on! If they really had to say something they should have put as someone else said, some light refreshments will be provided. It didn't need to be so bluntly rude. I genuinely wouldn't go, it costs time and money to attend a wedding, then a gift for the couple etc and then to receive an email basically implying I am a greedy guts is so offensive. I genuinely wouldn't attend OP if I were you.