Aibu to think some parents expect their kids to be the brightest & best at everything? Then are resentful if kids do better than theirs?

[Pumpkinspawn]

I know a couple of families like this & it's very unpleasant. They expect their dc to be the best at sport, top sets etc.. They are openly resentful to kids who are higher achievers than theirs. I have seen this first hand. Aibu to think this is a trend then has got worse since covid?

Oh yes, I know a mum like this. She visited my house on a play date and discovered through observation that my DC was actually similarly/more advanced than her DC. She was not happy and then decided to openly criticise my home decor, plants in the garden, our car. I was gobsmacked, but it was very enlightening as to how she viewed her child as a reflection of her own social status.

Always been those parents

I remember them from when I was at school.

I've never believed that endless classes for this and that was in a child's best interests. Let them do what they want, maybe a couple of classes at a time , and fgs let them relax a bit after school (and often after childcare on top!). Kids need to unwind and rest, just like everyone else. It didn't affect my kids adversely. They have interests and creative and sports interests as adults.

I don't know about "since Covid", because I'm now retired but - yes - I saw this when I was a school middle manager.

In Scotland, the senior pupil with the best grades is often awarded a special prize termed the Dux Award. We had parents who complained to the HT and Director of Education when their pride and joy failed to win.

Who cares?

I think they've always been around.

Though my kids struggled in early years in school (SEN and ND) - and some parents were faux sympathetic or constantly having a dig. When they started doing well years later after a lot of support they got very nasty. Once recounted an event that showed that and got told no one would be that nasty - well they were.

I concluded they were just very unpleasant people - luckily we move away.

Yes, it's definitely a thing, but why do some people feel the need to bring covid into everything?!

Not everything is because of covid.

No , it was like that even in the 70s80s when I was a kid

Why are you worried about his future? Two professionally successful parents and (presumably) the economic security that comes with that means that your DS doesn't need to compete in the university / jobs market the way some students have no choice but to do if they want a good life for themselves.

I don't think it's particularly changed since COVID. I experienced it when mine were at school and they are both mid thirties now. My two dcs were both very bright academically, one in particular. Neither were particularly good at sport, one enjoyed the fun side of it, the other did it under sufferance. I can't tell you how many parents took a real delight in almost laughter my dcs lack of sporting prowess compared to their children. However, I soon learned not to mention their academic achievements because that was 'unfair' to their little darlings. Sadly, those parents have a detrimental effect on their children because in the end, other children often end up avoiding them. And actually, being highly intelligent isn't the easy ride that many people assume it to be.

My parents were like this. We are NC, I am opposite with my kids

There have always been the parents that want their kids to be the prettiest/most good looking/brightest etc.🤷‍♀️

No, it's been around for years. My eldest is in their 30s and I remember well the competition amongst parents. From reception they'd be arguing whether red group or green group was 'top set' and lamenting that their child was under stimulated because they could count to 100 in Mandarin and decline a Latin verb at 3.

Agree with this. There are plenty of parents who aren't pushy at all but make sacrifice and prioritise their children education. From not moving house to ensure continuity of education, to working less paid jobs outside long commutes to ensure they are at school events or at home to set a homework routine. These parents give routine and security for children to be the best they can be. They don't make comparisons or boast how great their children are. They just help and support them to do as well as they can.

Long before Covid, I taught at a state primary school which was very close to a C of E primary. One of my part-time colleagues was the wife of the headmaster, and they opted for the C of E school close by, so that their daughter would not be singled out as the offspring of two members of staff, and she could be collected by mummy at the end of the school day just like everybody else. Word about parents jobs gets around, but she was at pains not to make a big thing of it!
So my friend went across at the end of the day at hometime, to observe her Reception age child having her book bag wrestled from her grasp, as one pushy mummy was keen to compare her own offspring's progress with that of the headmaster's child, by seeing what level of the reading scheme the child was on.
I would guess that this preceded Covid by at least forty years.

Sadly, they are. I went to Cambridge and there found many many people who were smart, sporty, musical, good looking and social. Fuckers 🤣.