Is my new line manager BU?

[MostlyGhostly]

I am off work (drs note) with stress related symptoms atm and due back on Monday - I do intend to return. I have just received a phone call from my new line manager who took over the role while I was off asking me to chat with her. She sounded irritated because apparently she has sent me a teams message and left a voicemail at the start of the week. I rarely listen to my voicemails because people tend to text unless they are cold callers and I haven’t logged into teams because I am off sick. The teams message O just looked at asked me to meet in person before I am due to return. This has really annoyed me and I’m not sure if it’s legal to ask someone who is signed off sick to meet face to face. I provided care for a relative while off sick and suffered a significant bereavement and have barely thought about work. I have just messaged the person explaining that I am still grieving and that I intend to start back on Monday but I would appreciate that my current situation (grieving a significant loss) is respected, code for, don’t speak down to me like I’m shit or ask me to come and meet you before I’m due back, I’m not in the fucking mood. I’m not sure if I was being OTT given my current state of mind. I’m middle management in a public sector organization and recently posted on the thread about being cynical / done with work, which is partly due to the weird hierarchical cliques at work.

YANBU: my line manager is overstepping

YABU: she’s well within her rights to be irritated with me and ask me to meet her before Monday

I had a bit of a blip earlier this year when I lost my mum and best friend in a very short period. The anger really caught me off guard. I was and am very fortunate to work in a good place and for a long time.

I know looking back my view of everything was impacted so I was and do advise don't make any big decisions in the first year.

I would suggest you talk to your GP, the priority is you going back able to thrive as best you can. That may take a little longer but I'm the long term and in promotional terms will likely be the more sensible option.

I found trying to not react to daft people doing or saying daft things a challenge. Mind yourself OP.

It's silly them contacting you on teams. But a phone call offering a video call in person before your return to work seems acceptable.

As a manager in the NHS, we are expected to make contact with people if they are off longterm sick and ask them to meet to follow sickness policy and return to work.

Lots of people report feeling abandoned by work so at times you can't get it right either way

Ha. Senior HR professional and manager of (on average) over 100 people (plus responsible for management training g and development) for over 20 years. 😂😂😂

(I earned my employment law qualifications. 😉)

I don’t think you’re ready to go back.

Firstly.

By your reaction you aren't really ready to go back to work. You're still struggling with your grief and unfortunately that won't be recognised in the work place...if you're that reactive and sad you're not meant to go back.

Secondly. They have a duty of care, they're not harassing you, they're making sure you're ready for work. And it she's new she's just ticking boxes. It's not an attack.

@ItTook9Years I'm presuming the correspondence wasn't of that nature. If it was 'what reasonable adjustments do you need for your return' then she would have responded and not been unhappy?