Is my new line manager BU?

[MostlyGhostly]

I am off work (drs note) with stress related symptoms atm and due back on Monday - I do intend to return. I have just received a phone call from my new line manager who took over the role while I was off asking me to chat with her. She sounded irritated because apparently she has sent me a teams message and left a voicemail at the start of the week. I rarely listen to my voicemails because people tend to text unless they are cold callers and I haven’t logged into teams because I am off sick. The teams message O just looked at asked me to meet in person before I am due to return. This has really annoyed me and I’m not sure if it’s legal to ask someone who is signed off sick to meet face to face. I provided care for a relative while off sick and suffered a significant bereavement and have barely thought about work. I have just messaged the person explaining that I am still grieving and that I intend to start back on Monday but I would appreciate that my current situation (grieving a significant loss) is respected, code for, don’t speak down to me like I’m shit or ask me to come and meet you before I’m due back, I’m not in the fucking mood. I’m not sure if I was being OTT given my current state of mind. I’m middle management in a public sector organization and recently posted on the thread about being cynical / done with work, which is partly due to the weird hierarchical cliques at work.

YANBU: my line manager is overstepping

YABU: she’s well within her rights to be irritated with me and ask me to meet her before Monday

Just a polite reminder that as you haven't been employed by the company for 2 years you don't have security there at the moment. Getting in a lather about a manager calling you to check that you're okay and that s/he can organise things around your return on Monday may not be in your best interests. I'm sympathetic to your situation, but unfortunately at times we just need to bite our tongues, particularly if we're hoping for promotion.

I'd think very carefully about returning when you don't seem ready - yur reaction to the contact from work says it all. Work piling up is not a reason to return and will likely make your health worse look after yourself first and foremost

OP, there will always be promotion opportunities. But your health comes first.
It's a journey not a fixed goal. I've seen people steam ahead, ignoring the warning signs only to fall apart once they've actually gotten that promotion. It worked out OK with a supportive team/long service good reputation. But in other cases, it was the death knell... They were talked about as not being able to handle it.

You are already feeling unsupported by the organisation. You're assuming the worst of your new LM (and as I presume she needs to support your promotion anyway this doesn't bode well).

25 years these days is only halfway through a career you have plenty of time. Focus on what matters.

Also adding as middle management you must have staff as well... Surely you can see your LM POV?

This. You are not uncontactable dye to MH on Thursday then fully fit 4 days later. You are being tge unreasonable one.

Ok with my line manager hat on

1. yes I need to check in with you especially if you are due back on Monday. Wouldn’t necessarily be in person but definitely a video call
2. If I knew you were due back I would have triggered occupational health to do an assessment with you to understand how we get you back in a way that doesn’t cause you any further stress e.g. phased return, lighter workload, only wfh etc
3. I Would also have directed you to our Employee Assistance Programme. Would never force someone to take it up but explained the services, particularly around counselling. Every company I have worked for has offered staff free counselling sessions as part of their EAP

Work need to know if you will be in as part of their planning but at the same time they need to work with you to make sure you are ok so you don’t go off again

As others have said you don’t sound ready and work building up shouldn’t be a reason you go back. That workload is for your manager to manage

Your new manager is a cunt.

If they had ANY managerial wits about them, they would wait to see if you returned to work upon expiry of your fit note.

Before that, there is no legal basis to contact you let alone have a F2F meeting.

Fuck that shit.

Manager can wait till you return to do all that.

Make it abundantly clear to managercunt that you were signed off, ergo, not gonna look at any work related shite in that time until you return to work.

This is a bit harsh.

My line manager checked in on me the week before returning to ensure I was ready, how I was feeling and to catch up.

Just because the sick note is up doesn’t mean OP is ready (and kindly OP I don’t think you are and I’m so sorry for your loss)

Its far from harsh.

Whats harsh is the managerial incompetence of hassling an employee who is off from work with a valid sick note.

Unless the office the OP works from has blown up/relocated, there is fuck all reason for any manager to see a F2F before the employee returns to work.

Your new line manager is only being unreasonable in expecting a you to have received a voice mail and a Teams msg sent to a work device. She should have rung you. She's allowed to speak to you about what support you might need in returning to work etc.

Just imagine a line manager didn't get in touch. Person retuned to work, no one was prepared for them, required adjustments had not been made.

It's bang out of order to contact people and demand meetings when they're off sick. You're not at work. Why on earth couldn't she wait till your return day to have this meeting.
At most she could've sent a welcome email, introducing herself. Saying 'I hope you feel better soon and can't wait to meet you on your return. No need to reply to this message.'
So yeah, it's not professional at all. You could've been literally sectioned in hospital? I'm not saying you were that unwell, but they don't know, and when someone is off sick they don't deal with work correspondence.

Keeping in touch is totally normal. You may be reading into the communications too deeply. Put yourself in your manager's shoes and think about it.

Did the manager put themselves in the OP's shoes?

No, because the manager is a moron. And an incompetent one at that too.

@DragonGypsyDoris the manager is brand new and has been told someone is off sick. So they shouldn't expect correspondence from them obviously until they're actually back in work.
It's not a very good first impression is it, bombarding people with demands when they're medically signed off work?

Irrelevant of a sick line we have to call day 1 then 5 then7. After that it's every 7 days. Then after a certain time can't recall how long you are called in for a face to face meeting

Yes. It is a requirement to make sure that you keep in touch with your manager to update them about your health status.

🤷‍♀️

It sounds like the OP has a managerial
job she has been in less than 2 years in a professional organisation. Someone will therefore have been covering her role while she’s out. Meanwhile her manager is new and has been in touch, probably to see if she is returning or if those without a manager need to be managed by someone else still.

This doesn’t sound like shift work at a supermarket where if she turns up or doesn’t, there is a rota to ensure coverage.

The OP’s manager has done what I would do as a very experienced people leader - be human, check in and see all is good for a return. If not, put other arrangements in place. I probably would have done it by video call but now people are recording these just in case, I can see why she said in person. Not necessary to be in person In my view though.

There is no need to go nuclear because someone tried to do the right thing. With less than two years tenure, i would not be making this so hard.

It's unreasonable of your manager to expect you to look at Teams while you're off sick, however it's not unreasonable for your manager to try to contact you, as many public sector organisations have formal Keeping In Touch (KIT) procedures. That being said, any KIT process should recognise the needs and situation of the individual who is off sick - which may include a 'no contact' request if needs be.

Your manager probably didn't know about all the other things that happened while you were off (sorry for your loss, by the way) - however if they are new, they may very well have already contacted HR to find out what to do about your return and are probably following any HR policy by the book, rather than being pragmatic. This would also include you having a Return to Work interview (which it sounds like what is being suggested to you), but this doesn't need to be overly formal.

If you've been off for a little while with stress OP, I would recommend you doing a phased return to work to ease you back in gently. I understand you may have reasons for wanting to go back, but I would also urge you to consider whether you're really ready yet, so it might be worth discussing this with your GP.

Hope this helps x

Your face to face meeting can be on your return to ensure that reasonable adjustments can be made. Ask
for a referral to occupational health

Did you get your employment law qualifications out of a Xmas cracker?

What if OP needs support in place on the date of return?

Absolute nonsense.

OP has stated they work for a large company in middle-management - they will almost certainly have a policy around staying contactable when not in work due to sickness, suspension, whatever.

A fit note is a recommendation that you're not fit to complete your normal duties of work, not carte blanche to drop off the face off the earth.

We have no idea how long OP has been off, but can assume it's a minimum of a few weeks if a fit note is needed. It's more than reasonable for an employer - who has a duty of care - to request a meeting to discuss any number of things; If the fit note is to be extended, if adjustments need to be made to duties/hours etc. OP is not a shelf-stacker; they are responsible for other employees in addition to their workload and their employer needs to plan around this.

They also had no idea of the bereavement/stress, not that this is relevant aside from you trying to push an 'evil boss' narrative.

We also know that OP has not been employed for two years, and as such has very few rights in this situation. They have said the time off is due to something related to tests they've been having, so presumably they are not disabled. Employer could let them go for having too much time off, not following company protocol on being contactable, or any number of reasons.

Kicking off because they've tried to contact you while you have a fit note is terrible, ill informed advice.

😂

this is utterly useless information lol

tell me you’re not a manager without telling me your not a manager.

I was on compassionate leave for 2 weeks and off sick for 2 months following a bereavement 4 years ago.

My only contact with management was by text to start with, so that I didn't actually have to speak to anyone. A good friend, who was also a colleague when I was in a different role, was in touch regularly and let them know how I was doing, with my agreement.

I think it's a bit insensitive of a new manager to expect someone off with a MH issue to be looking at Teams messages, and to contact them when they're off sick. I work in the 3rd sector and most of our contracts are in mental health, so they really get how MH issues affect staff.

I agree. I'd suggest you ask for a wellbeing action plan to be put in place for you too.