Haven’t paid rent in months!

[Uppoopcreek]

I’ve just realised I haven’t paid my rent in around 6 months! I don’t know how this could have happened?
ive lived here around 4 years. All I can think is I set up a standing order a while ago and it didn’t work properly?
now, I have pretty severe MH problems. Awful anxiety and depression(probable ADHD but still waiting for an appointment to start the process). I never check my bank, I’m behind with other bills, too. I’m a bury my head in the sand type of person, but worry constantly about everything, About a month ago I hit rock bottom. Won’t go into details, but it wasn’t great.
I have 3 DC, and I’m on benefits.
Help! What do I do?! Had a text from landlord last night asking me to call him, which is what’s just prompted me to look now. I was asleep when he text.

I'm sorry but I don't believe you've managed to spend 6 months worth of rent (at least 2/3 thousand, even in the cheapest of areas) without noticing? If you didn't realise you hadn't paid your rent, you must've assumed your rent had gone out every month and had at least a very rough idea how much of each month's money was remaining. Why did you keep on using your card? I can just about understand it happening one month and blaming it on poor mental maths. But 6 months? Thousands of pounds?

As all the tests cases have stated; being on benefits is not a protected characteristic.

Placing a rental advertisement saying 'no DC or no benefit claimants' is unlawful as it could disproportionately effect a protected characteristic i.e women who are more likely to be single parents and disabled people who are more likely to be in receipt of benefits.

So the potential discrimination comes in in adversely effecting potentially 2 protected characteristics under equality law and the fact that the advertisement brings in an element where the protected characteristics are unlawfully excluded from applying.

But there is currently no law at all that states any private landlord has to rent to just anyone that wants to rent their property and that they'd be discriminatory by refusing anyone on benefits or with kids. Though a challenge could potentially be brought in some cases, it's not a given. Letting agents have different rules.

You've been doling out really inaccurate advice to private landlords trying to frighten them into thinking they're breaking the law when they are not.

How to challenge DSS discrimination - Shelter England

The important paragraph is:

"If you're dealing directly with the landlord, you cannot always challenge DSS discrimination. This is because private landlords are not regulated in the same way as agents"

The bill being debated in parliament which you incorrectly said was current law will cover private landlords

You poor poor friend.
You do realise they will now have to pay YOUR rent on YOUR behalf?
What is they can't afford it either?

The discretionary housing payment has eligibility criteria which doesn't cover people in receipt of benefits who 'forgot' to pay rent to a private landlord for 6 months and spent the money on something else.

I don't know what world some of these posters are living in where they're thinking yes, you already get benefits and if you whoopise forget to pay rent for six months but can't explain how you spent the extra thousands of pounds and didn't notice you were spending thousands of pounds more, the state will step in and pay off the arrears for you?

This is why you are never guarantor unless you’re hugely hugely wealthy and are happy to give away thousands.

I am sorry for the friend, they shouldn’t have done it. OP is mainly responsible, of course, but I hope anyone reading this and thinking “of course my BIL or aunt or friend wouldn’t do this to me!” thinks twice.

When you do speak with your landlord, see if you can have a few days to find whatever you can, and if you can make a payment plan to clear the arrears. Will UC give you a budgeting loan to partially cover it?
Can you get a loan? Credit cards?

What guilt trip a recently bereaved parent?

'Ah whoops I've spent all my rent, don't be mean and expect me to pay..
You don't really need it'

She probably doesn't need you to be so critical though - she knows she's made a mistake and has come here for some suggestions and bit of reassurance. Is being the smartest most responsible person on a thread important to you?

Oh dear, OP, this sounds like financial chaos! You obviously have a good friend who is solvent and agreed to be your guarantor. Could you ask that person to help you work your way through this crisis, find whatever help is available and start budgeting properly? They will soon be finding out the worst anyway in relation to the unpaid rent, so there's no pointing in keep it secret, and they may be able to help. Good luck.

My guess is the landlord will serve an eviction notice and sell the house. It's the only sensible thing for him to do after inheriting the house along with a non paying tenant. It would be a hugh amount of hassle for an elderly man to keep monitoring if a tenant has decided to stop paying the rent again. If he has any sense, he'll try to reclaim the rent from the guarantor.

Indeed 🤦‍♀️
That post is flabbergasting. “He’ll probably write off six months rent because he doesn’t really need it”.
What is wrong with some people’s thought processes?!

I sympathise with you and I just want to ask, if your mental health is bad and you seem vulnerable, could you appoint a loved one or friend to handle your finances? If you didn’t realise that you had a huge chunk of extra finances that you’ve spent on other things instead of rent and bills, I think you need support with managing money. I’m sure you can get in contact with someone from your local council to help support you too? I hope it gets better op x

Nope.

I have suffered with depression and suicidal ideation and acts for years till 2020 and still have 2 anxiety disorders diagnosed. And PTSD.

I'm frankly bored of people making crappy life decisions which harm their DC, their families and other people and institutions while claiming MH means they weren't really responsible.

I take full responsibility for every poor decision I made and every person I harmed. I'm accountable for all of it and never say to anyone calling me out 'oh you're lucky you didn't experience what I did..'

It's designed to shut people down so you don't deal with your own crap and I won't engage with it. You're a grown up, you made bad decisions, you decided to buy clothes from M and S instead of paying rent, your MH at the time doesn't mean you aren't responsible or I should feel sorry for you.

The majority of people on this site have suffered the same or worse than you, it's life. Recovery is taking responsibility and not making excuses because it's honestly boring that hardly anyone wants to take responsibility and instead, positions themselves as a victim.

Do you not have to lack capacity for that? You could maybe ask a friend, but who'd want to take that responsibility on?!

You need to be upfront with your landlord and I would make sure the guarantor knows before they are contacted
I have MH diagnosis myself so I do understand the effects on life
6 months is a very long time not to check your bank. You would've checked your benefits had gone in properly at the very least.
Offer to pay the landlord as much as you can afford today and are willing to set up a payment plan for your arrears
Having lost his son, I can understand why he hasn't informed you sooner
Contact CAB for further help

(“What I do illegally anyway”).

Fixed it for you.

So? You can rent your own property to whomever you please.

The mental capacity act in law is very specific and wouldn't cover the OP.

Though it's honestly ridiculous for anyone to suggest that just because OP is bad with money, someone else should take over responsibility for her finances.

It's not at all the same as not having capacity to manage finances.

I don’t believe a single word of your tale and I feel very sorry for your friend!

Not illegal for private landlords - see previous posts.

…or perhaps once bitten?

But if she owes 6 times say £800 that's £4800 so paying back at £50 would take 96 months! He's not going to do that!

@StMarieforme Yes, I think that her guarantor is going to have to pay off some of the arrears tbh. That’s why I suggested that the OP checks her accounts ASAP to see what she can offer LL right away-and also speak to her guarantor.

Perhaps her guarantor can loan the money to pay the arrears and the OP can gradually repay her.

I'm not a landlord and I rent and have done for 23 years- at the end of the day whilst agents can't discriminate against people on UC or with pets or even children, a private landlord can prioritise whoever he wants, especially if there are multiple people after the same properties.its one reason we don't have a dog - but we do Borrow my doggy instead. Once you are in it, and paying your rent unless you aren't keeping it up to scratch or not paying rent it's going to be harder without showing discrimination but the issue is that in the first place in private rentals a landlord has the choice whether to rent to you or not - yes it's indirect discrimination but it's also called 'choice' -

This thread seems to have a few people on it who think the LL doesn't need the money so should just let OP live there for free and also think the guarantor should do x, y or z to help the OP including loaning her the money?

Let's be honest, they'd be an idiot to loan the OP money. Anyone would be.

They were possibly an idiot to act as guarantor for OP in the first place but she's subsequently proven herself to be a really shitty financial risk in every way so no way would any sensible person offer to loan her the money to pay off her arrears.