To get a dog before children?

[catsandblooms]

My husband and I have been together for 14 years and are trying to conceive but having fertility issues which means that we can't predict if and when we will be able to start a family. I love animals and would like to get a small dog, I work from home and could spend a lot of time with one.

My husband has always said he is happy to get a dog one day but always thought it would be after children, possibly when they are older/ teenagers.

I feel quite deflated at the moment waiting for my next stage of life to happen and the urge to get a dog has gotten stronger (we have cats already).

Friends of mine who have a dog and children say they love their dog but would never have ended up getting one if they had the responsibility of children first, which makes me think that if I don't get one now I may never get one?

Another factor is that I donate frequently to animal rescues and seeing also the rescue dogs without a home is really playing on my mind and I know I could give them so much love.

YANBU - life is for living and you could give a dog a good home and children will come afterwards

YABU - focus on children first and maybe a dog will be in your future one day

I got my dog before having babies. I don't regret it for a second, but it does make having young children harder.

The dog still needs walking regardless of how much sleep you're getting. And you need eyes in the back of your head with a toddler and dog in the same house (either my 1 year old or dog comes to the loo with me every time, I can't leave them alone together for a second). Plus all days out need to be either pet friendly, or we have to find someone to watch our dog.

I think it's worth it if you are really desperate for a dog, but if you're at all on the fence I'd wait.

Agree. This is how all 3 of my cats ended up with me (separate occasions). They went from much loved pets to apparently having some sort of evil intentions towards the new baby/toddler.

They now live lives of luxury in a child-free home!

No experience with dogs but agree with others who are worried that you may be wanting a child-substitute who’ll be disregarded once you get the real thing.

We had our two doggies before having children and they are a much loved and treasured part of our children’s childhood.

People said to me all throughout my first pregnancy (including my husband once!) you won’t love them as much when you have the baby. This was never the case and I had known it wouldn’t be. They were never baby substitutes but much loved companions in their own right.

I cannot understand people who rehome after having a baby (except perhaps in extreme circumstances). You do have to make accomodations, there will be more to do some days, more to arrange but that’s just part of having people and animals in your life who love you and who you love.

I agree it’s not great but it’s a very real example. Also most of my nct friends had dogs and were completely over them when they had a newborn.

@Leavesandacorns ah, I’d forgotten about showering and peeing in front of a very bemused Labrador. I never left them alone together either, not cause I didn’t trust the dog but because it’s just irresponsible with a very young child. When my kid was school age and I knew wouldn’t bother the dog I was more relaxed but a baby - preschool age absolutely no way were they ever alone.

It’s diffiferenr if you desperately want a dog and after a few years once it’s fully part of put your family a child is added. Basically get a dog because you want a dog, not a child substitute.

My dog is 4 and I love her to bits but honestly I wouldn’t of got her if I’d had my son first.
Theyre a lot of work on top of the full time job of raising a baby.
Equally it was much better (if your going to have a dog) that she was a fully trained adult, a young pup/ teen dog would’ve been so so difficult.

I sense I bit of a trend here. I became desperate to get a dog when I was trying for my first child. Was looking at everyone else's dogs, looking at rescue pages on social media. Then once I got the baby I never even thought about a dog again.

3 kids on, once my youngest was 5, we got a puppy and it was so much work I spent a good 4 weeks wondering why I had done this to myself!

I'd say wait.