Does birth order really affect personality

[FlakySwan]

I am pretty interested in the psychology of this; in real life I have seen it to be true to some siblings but in my case it has been the opposite. I am the older sister of 2 and I have always aligned more with the typical personalities of only children and youngests. Especially when I was younger, everyone I met who didn't know my sister would assume that I am the youngest sibling. What are your thoughts?

We are both middles and firmly believe that middles are different to the outer two. We’ve asked other middles and they all agreed.

I don't know with me because I'm the third but the other two died as young babies. So I'm being an only child but technically I'm not. I guess if you don't grow up with anyone else then you relate more to adults. But my siblings would be 18 and 16 years older. So practically adults anyway!

I think it does. My eldest is very caring, my middle daughter is a peace maker and mother hen. The youngest is lovely but too laid back. We call him last minute.com. He tends to lean towards selfishness.

I'm a middle child but my DSis died before I was born, so I was an only child then an "eldest" when my other DSis came along, and I have always felt like an invisible middle child.

How big an age gap between you and your sibling op? As it changes after years sex and the ages. Only and older have many similar traits.

For me dh and our children. It suits well dh was one of 4 and says younger bro was the youngest. Oldernsis and bro the older and he the middle. For me I am a typical middle despite I ought to be a first as there are 7 years between me and older sis. Younger bro the mix of youngest and oldest son.

For my 4 dd1. Typical oldest. Dd2 typical middle. Ds typical oldest and dd3 typical youngest.

I’ve not heard of siblings order being matched to personalities. In my family the oldest is laid back to the point of being in a coma, successful in terms of career, lazy (but very productive), loves a party, forgetful. Middle is a perfectionist, very sociable, quite dramatic, loyal. Youngest has a close group of friends, very dramatic, least academic but well read, has a big heart, but takes everything to heart.

Not sure if that’s common or not. I think it depends on the parenting style more though.

I am 2.5 years older than her, she didn't treat me well though and we were never close. My traits were more aligned with youngest interestingly.

Not personality, but as the oldest I had to go to secondary school first etc I.e. be the first to do things, so I think it made me feel more responsibility and felt a bit braver. And I think it made me a little bossier as I had to help them out, but it's not my natural personality.

I think it's a bit of BS to be honest, personality is innate regardless of whether you parents go on to have more.

I'm one of three; eldest is quite bossy and definitely the organiser. Middle child is fairly absent and makes little effort with the family unless they want something. Third is also fairly bossy but less directive and sometimes more sensitive. I don't think this would change if there were only two.

I think it depends on parental attitude while young. Most birth order differences come from the fact that parents are more cautious with a first child. But if parents are naturally laid back, that won't apply. My DP is the youngest of 5. His parents had very high expectations of eldest two and were kinf of 'helicopter' parents to them, but by the time they got to number 5, he was allowed to do pretty much as he liked (luckily he was a good boy so didn't get into too much trouble!)

It effects upbringing, treatment and experience within the family during your most formative years, so its bound to.

There will be an aspect that birth order will effect as if they have a personality that tends that way it will be encouraged
So if your first likes to be in charge and helping out, then they'll get opportunities to do it that the youngest won't so it encourages that part of their personality Etc

Definitely in our family.

Oldest - hard working, independent, organised, competitive, confident.
Middle - hard working, quiet and less confident, people pleaser / peacemaker
Youngest - outgoing, confident, competitive, assertive, others seek to keep her happy

It works for me and my sister, she's typical eldest child and I'm typical youngest.

They also say you're likely to choose your partner based on birth order too, so I'm the youngest daughter and of all three long term relationships I've been in they have all been oldest sibling with younger sisters.

My sister seems very typically oldest child to me. She was clever, horribly bossy, quite domineering, not at all easy going as a kid. Took many years (decades) for her to chill a bit more, I’m middle, was very easy going, reserved, much kinder than her as kids, younger sibling (and only boy) was quite easy, spoilt a bit more but not too bad.

We all rub along reasonably well.

What are the "typical personalities"?
I am the only child - self-sufficient, love my family but don't enjoy any fussing over me, perhaps selfish at times (aren't we all?). Stood on my own two feet from a young age.
My aunt has three - eldest is highly strung and generally hopeless in a lot of areas of life, very intelligent but can't apply it, not motivated or able to make any positive changes to his life. Middle is friendly but superficial, knows how to get what he wants by being outwardly nice, used to be very self-sufficient and low-maintenance as a child. Now completely spoit by his wife and can't even make his own dinner even though was once responsible for cooking for himself and his older brother while parents were at work. Youngest is closed off, insecure with poor social skills.
Does it fit?
Funnily enough I always though that my partner was the baby of the family based on his attitude and personality (slightly self-obsessed but with big heart), turned out he is a middle child. His younger sister is chaotic, his older brother has the weight of the world on his shoulders.

I believe your core personality itself is innate but you are definitely influenced by your upbringing to a greater or lesser degree. So birth order will have an effect but maybe more on your learnt behaviours than on your inherent characteristics.

For me and my sibling its very much true - i'm the eldest daughter, so the planner, the organised and manickly anxious one. My younger brother is the laid back more, selfish one.

I think its mainly from my parents way they brought us up though - I was the test who had stricter parents, my brother got away with alot more as they felt more comfortable as parents by then

I thought this has been statistically proven. And whilst true at a general population level, isn't necessarily always true at an individual level

Yes
Not the innate part, but the part which comes from your upbringing most definitely.

I am the youngest of 4 - the oldest 3 are nightmares - criminal behaviour, drug taking, oldest has not done those things but has always been a horrible bully. She is the only one who worked, but wangled a way to get early retirement. Middle two are on benefits as they think work is for suckers. I hear a lot of things about youngest being spoiled and lazy - but I am the one who went to uni, got qualifications, and the one who care for dying parents. So I dont think the stereotypes fit in our family and am not sure I think there is anything in it.

What are the typical personalities? I'm one of 3.

Eldest: Mother hen and peacekeeper, confident in who she is (although I also put this down to her wealthly lifestyle)
Middle: Nightmare narcisist, everyone else is at fault and the world is against her. Was always a bully, and we had to walk on eggshells so not to anger her.
Youngest (me): People pleaser and perfectionist (and I don't class either of these as positives!)

I really do! I am an eldest that married an eldest. All my friends that are eldests also have the same personality type.

I also believe in middle child syndrome!

There is research which shows absolutely yes, birth order, # yrs apart can be associated with behavior/personality traits.

Google it.

During my Undergrad degree, an expert gave a lecture on this, didn’t time leading small groups doing a problem solving team activity. He then predicted birth order with accuracy based on who took lead, roles in group, how questions were asked etc .., the mistakes were when there were big age gaps between siblings, or like oldest had a significant learning difficulty, so second child took place of oldest.

I'm not even sure what the order is meant to represent in terms of personality? I'm guessing the eldest being a leader, the youngest forever being the baby who perhaps gets away with murder from the parents and the middle child feeling like they're forgotten slightly? They are the only stereotypes I'm aware of I think. Would genuinely like to know more. I think it's quite changeable with me and my one younger sibling. Sometimes I'm the leader and sometimes they are. My sibling called my the Golden Child as a teen though.