Does birth order really affect personality

[FlakySwan]

I am pretty interested in the psychology of this; in real life I have seen it to be true to some siblings but in my case it has been the opposite. I am the older sister of 2 and I have always aligned more with the typical personalities of only children and youngests. Especially when I was younger, everyone I met who didn't know my sister would assume that I am the youngest sibling. What are your thoughts?

I'd say yes. Anyone you live with during the first 18 years of your life is going to have an affect on shaping your personality.

Does that mean that all oldest siblings are going to have exactly the same personality traits however? No of course not.

This is really interesting and not something I’ve really considered, I’ll give it a google.

I am an only child (which tends to surprise people) and my husband is the eldest of 3, I wonder if we fit any stereotypes!

I think I might be a typical eldest child (confident, precocious, possibly a bit bossy…). I only see it with my youngest with my 3dc - he’s definitely the most coddled and indulged (not on purpose).

I think so! I am definitely a typical youngest child- laid back, easygoing, I was always the peacemaker in our family as I learned it was the easy route! My elder siblings will also say I got away with murder, as the third child my mum was a lot more relaxed with rules.

Interestingly, I have only ever had boyfriends/partners who are also youngest children. Right back to my teens, every single significant other (including 2 husbands!) have been youngest children. And yet the vast majority of my close female friends are eldest children 🤔

Doesn't apply here; oldest but least confident of 3. Also the smallest, tho. Certainly not a leader.

I thought this was proven but a quick google suggests it’s a theory that’s been largely debunked!

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4655556/#:~:text=In%20conclusion%2C%20scientific%20evidence%20strongly,to%20the%20development%20of%20intelligence.

From the conclusion: “In conclusion, scientific evidence strongly suggests that birth order has little or no substantive relation to personality trait development and a minuscule relation to the development of intelligence.”

Im really surprised! As anecdotally for me the theories hold up. But your experience is more aligned with the population level research apparently, op.

I think my personality has changed as I've got older. I was classic 1st child, but then got very laid back. Married an older man, so maybe that was it.

I would say my 2nd dc is more typically 1st child.

Pretty younger sisters often receive an older child privilege over plainer older sisters. Same for children with older siblings with sen / disabilities. It’s not as clear cut as birth order being the be all and end all

I really don’t want to believe in this, but I’m classic middle child.

i think that parenting plays a large part though.

Not the first to do stuff, so always compared, and in my case unfavourably to the naturally clever, sporty and good at everything one. I’m not the youngest, so it wasn’t the ‘last time’ when I did stuff.
Interestingly my siblings, have very different perspective on how we were treated. Both of them say I was my parents favourite, which I don’t think at all.

we’re all Middle Aged now, so there’s plenty of life experience which has shaped the way we are now.

I am the youngest of 5, but also an only child to one parent as a second marriage.

I would say that the roles of youngest & oldest are prob reversed in my family. I’m definitely the most organised, perfectionist, responsible and most successful career wise of my siblings. I’m always the one arranging family stuff and sorting stuff out, lending people money, putting up siblings after relationship breakdowns etc.

The eldest is more like the youngest child, by typical standards I suppose. Bit of a golden child, couple of life mistakes.

In would say the 3 middle are very similar, laid back, easy going. Keep to themselves etc.

We all get on great though!

I think in a dysfunctional family the older child can be more exposed to the dysfunction which can be a weight on their shoulders. Obviously that wouldn't be the case if a younger one was a scapegoat

Perhaps only demonstrated in relation to solving specific group problems…. Like leadership, teamwork & communication and NOT “ personality ”

It will have an influence, but so do unique family dynamics, age gaps, gender, genetic influences on personality, stability of care givers etc.

I was a very parentified youngest child in a house with much older siblings with complex issues. I wasn't remotely spoiled. More benignly neglected whilst everyone else had much louder wants and needs.

Yeah I think the combo of sex among siblings is inportant sometimes too. My mother was the youngest of five with four older brothers but unfortunately my Nan always seemed closer to "her boys" which my mum felt from a young age. She certainly didn't feel mollycoddled by them all and her parents, contrary to what some might expect to happen.

I'm not sure tbh. I was adopted so in one respect I was the eldest but I grew up as the youngest in a large family. I have more traits one would ascribe to being youngest I'm sure.

I don't think there's any real evidence to suggest that it does. Everyone has their own ideas on how birth order has affected them and their siblings, but I don't think anyone can truly be objective about this.

I personally think it's much more about the dynamic within each individual family.

For example, for every youngest child who gets coddled and spoilt as 'the baby', there's a youngest child in another family who gets treated like an afterthought and maybe wasn't even wanted.

DH is an only. He's level headed and ambitious. He is however more generous than me. I'm the youngest and I'm more self centred but I do have empathy. I don't think the world revolves around me totally.

The older child in my family was more outspoken and critical than me. Has more leadership tendencies and quite serious so she fits this bill

Interestingly most of my friends are youngest children like me.

There is so much of the 'it depends on...' about the statement that I don't see how it could really be tested. Birth order is just a part of what makes a family - is the eldest 12 years older than next sibling, or 12 months? Is the middle child the only girl? Is there any SEN in any of the siblings?

You'd have to find loads of families in the same socio-economic group with parents of the same mindset and children with exactly the same sexes and age gaps to test it properly.

Yes it does. It's because they are brought up differently. Older children are always seen as more responsible so the younger ones grow up feeling they are never trusted. Older children feel that they are held to a higher standard because they get away with less, which of course is only fair because they are more developed. Middle children fall in between, they get the worst of both sides really.

Yes, absolutely imo.

It's obviously not true for every single family in existence but that doesn't mean it's not generally the case at population level.

I think like star signs, there's a degree of confirmation bias.

Also how does this work with twins? If you have twins only or they the first and middle or youngest and middle etc.