Is it just me who finds this odd?

[Threetrees745]

Imagine that you had lost a significant amount of weight and looked visibly different. You had got there through diet, giving up certain treat foods and cutting down on alcohol and starting the gym, so a full lifestyle overhaul that is hard to ignore.

Would you find it odd if close family members never mentioned noticing anything different and continued to offer/bring you unhealthy food when catching up?

If OP has lost a significant amount of weight, I'd say it's a given she will have eliminated/dramatically reduced consuming all those things...

In that case, don't mind their feelings more than they care for yours.

Say no thank you to the food offerings. They obviously couldn't care less about you making better choices.

Well done on the lifestyle change. It's no mean feat 👏🏾.

some people prefer you stay overweight they get used to you being the chubby/fat friend/relative/colleague

and will happy for you to return to being overweight

What was the previous dynamic with that person in terms of offering compliments, offering food and do they tend to be judgy of people they see as "vain"? And are they overweight themselves? All those things might be relevant. (I'm assuming your weight loss is obvious and couldn't have gone unnoticed.)

My mum has a weird attitude to complimenting people, particularly her own daughters. She'll tell you if she thinks you're looking chubby or too scrawny but if you actually look great/ just right she won't say a word. She did say once that she never gives compliments because it makes people vain and bigheaded.

Offering food, may just be habit if they've always done that. Maybe jealousy or self judgement (i.e. need to stop OP losing more weight or I'll look even bigger next to her).

Maybe someone who sees appearance as unimportant and doesn't pay it any attention even if noticed.

I don't think we should be commenting on other people's bodies.
Bring it up if you want to talk about it. But also I think someone being neutral about it is perfectly fine.
I have lost a lot of weight and find it very uncomfortable if it's commented on.

I might fond it odd that close family hadn't noticed (or hadn't mentioned) that I had lost a large amount of weight and looked very different. I wouldn't expect them to stop offering me 'unhealthy' food though. They're just carrying on as normal because you haven't asked them not to.

No I wouldn't consider it strange. I don't comment on anyone's weight, definitely not my family's, and I offer treats to everyone because I think most people eat delicious things sometimes, even skinny ones!

To be honest I'm slim and always have been and my family always try to hand me left overs when leave. Sometimes I'll take them, other times I'll say no thanks.

I wouldn't mention your change in lifestyle either unless you specifically brought it up. Really it only goes down well if both parties are aligned in their ideas and motivations, and are on the same journey, otherwise one side tends to feel worse after the conversation because in general it makes you reflect upon your own attitudes.

I never comment on size or weight. I might say ‘you are looking well’ or ‘you look lovely’ if someone is glowing or has dressed up, but never about size or shape. I think a ‘well done’ for losing weight, implies you were somehow not doing well before. For some people a loss of weight is to do with ill health or stress. I try to avoid any comments that associate worth with weight. It’s not helpful. Size doesn’t indicate health. Some very thin might be drinking alcohol to excess and smoking like a chimney. Someone larger might eat healthily but too much but exercise a lot and have a healthier heart than someone naturally thinner.

I think it’s great that you are looking after your body. It means you’ll be able to enjoy more things for longer. If you need praise then praise yourself. What anyone else thinks is inconsequential. And if you really want them to say, then tell them what you’ve done.

You know them.

If you think they're giving you unhealthy stuff deliberately then they probably are.

I've lost 14 stone over the last 6 years. You know instinctively from peoples mannerisms who is offering you cake because they've always offered you cake and they don't want to offend and who suddenly starts pushing more and more unhealthy stuff because they don't like you leaving your fat pedestal.

I've stopped meeting my cousin for lunches over the last year as the more weight I lost (and I needed to lose a LOT!) the more she wanted us to be going to cake places and wanted me to eat some of her 'treats' constantly. When I pointed it out to her she declared that "fatties are fat, even when they go slimmer for a while" as if she was doing me a favour in bursting by weight loss bubble sooner.

I think you're over thinking this.
A hangover from Nineties diet culture when we were obsessed with women's weight/bodies?

These days luckily there's much less body shaming and much less open discussion/comment about women's bodies.

I wouldn't mention weight loss/gain to anyone unless I was invited to. I wouldn't assume it's passive aggressive from your family member.

Regarding the leaving of snacks/treats etc. Keep them for your guests or bin them.