Is it just me who finds this odd?

[Threetrees745]

Imagine that you had lost a significant amount of weight and looked visibly different. You had got there through diet, giving up certain treat foods and cutting down on alcohol and starting the gym, so a full lifestyle overhaul that is hard to ignore.

Would you find it odd if close family members never mentioned noticing anything different and continued to offer/bring you unhealthy food when catching up?

Have you been explicit about how you have adjusted your lifestyle and diet?

Tell them, but not at the point they are pressing biscuits on you.

Just find a way to drop it into the conversation .

Unpopular opinion but I think it’s a good thing that no one has mentioned your weight. When I lost weight everyone told me I looked far better and it fuelled my desire to lose weight and my mental health suffered. When I gained weight I was worried people would say something as they commented on my weight loss.

Your family seem brilliant, it’s 2024 let’s stop talking to woman about their bodies

I wouldn’t comment on anyone’s weight - friend or family. How would I know the reason - diet, illness, exercise? It’s best not to open a can of worms and let them broach it if they want to. At best I might say that they’re “looking great”, if they are.

Take it & throw in nearst bin.

If/when you put the weight on again would you want them to comment then too?

They're jealous

Simple as

Pinkpaperclip

I agree with you.

I lost a stone and a half last year. I only had a stone and a half to lose. And people commented.

But it felt so shallow and awkward and made me feel so uncomfortable (especially the praise/compient event of it) that I deliberately put the weight back on.

I hated the focus on it tbh.

It depends on how it's done. They might be sabotaging or showing you up, they might be offering a lovely treat, or they might just be offering what they have and thinking nothing about your weight.
Either way you can still say No thanks, I'm cutting down on sugar/fat at the moment.

Yes and then you get comments like “I can’t offer you a cake as I know you’ve lost weight / on a diet” and it makes you feel awkward. OP doesn’t realise how lucky she is

People get criticised if they comment, and if they don’t comment - just be direct ‘I’ve worked hard to lose weight, and want to stay this way - please help by not bringing me cake/chocolate/whatever’

I never comment on weight loss or weight gain. Maybe I've learned the hard way because of my own eating disorder, but it's also just bad mannered. And problematic to give praise, approval or positive comments about loss or gain of weight. It's just too personal. It's about sensitivity not jealousy.
I pay people compliments on generally looking great, love what you're wearing etc.

Some people are feeders. My mother was one. The emotional blackmail even when the doctor had told me to lose weight was unbelievable. The pouting, the sighs, the persistence . . .

The issue with commenting - ‘you look great’ when someone has lost weight, is the inbuilt implication that they have been scrutinising your appearance and until now, thought you looked less great. It’s a tough one to navigate.

No, I lost 3.5 stone and no one in the family really noticed or said anything untill I was 2 stone down . Once I got to 3 stone suddenly everyone noticed.

I think it like not noticing children growing. It's only when you haven't seen them for ages you realise.

Unless someone told me they'd been diagnosed celiac or gone veggie/vegan then I'd still supply the usual treats for my friends, regardless of their size. You should just bring some healthier stuff next time and just say you're trying to cut out xyz, would you like to try this that I made etc.

Some people don't comment on others appearances at all. They just don't. Some always do. 'oh, you look nice, you've lost weight, I love your shoes etc' neither one of those options is perfect. Just enjoy their company. If you want to talk about your weight loss then just raise the subject in conversation.

I think some important info to clarify is that I've not known this family member since childhood and they aren't a blood relation so there isn't a sense of they have been giving me food and treats since childhood. It's quite a new thing and may explain why I find it odd/uncomfortable given my noticeable lifestyle change.

It is very clear to me that one of my family members has lost huge amounts of weight using injections. I have personal objections to the way these are bought, unscreened, lied about to gain access to them, and caused a dramatic shortage for diabetics as they were first popularised. I therefore will not comment or make reference to her weight loss.
Could it be similar? Or just plain old jealousy?

Maybe they object to the way you've lost the weight.

Maybe you're one of those persons for whom weightloss makes you look haggard and sunken, and it would be unkind to bring that up, so best avoided.

Couldn't be any number of things really.

Why would they be offended tho at you saying you're trying to maintain your weight loss?

No because I didn't use injections? No disrespect to people who do but I did not.

How could anyone object to a positive lifestyle change of reducing alcohol consumption and cutting out takeaways/rubbish. So I don't think it's that as I've not used any interventions such as surgery or injections.

Then don’t and just chuck it in the bin as soon as you get home. Or invent a food allergy or intolerance which means you can’t eat that food.

Also I'm definitely not looking haggard as I'm still not "thin"

Tbh you could be really ill and that’s why you’ve lost weight. One of my colleagues lost a lot of weight and someone was like “what’s your secret” and she just quipped “cancer”. She had quite a sharp sense of humour and honestly didn’t mind but you can’t expect people to be mind readers. If you refuse to address it with them then they might feel that they shouldn’t be the one bringing it up.

Reading between the lines, I'd wager that they're still offering you unhealthy food because they're jealous of your significant weight loss.

Next time, politely but confidentially say: 'No thanks, I don't want to undo all my hard work eating cake!'