Ditching BF 50th for awards dinner?

[abigailsfs]

Feeling annoyed and need to check my feelings. One of my very close friends/best friend has told me she can’t now come to my 50th birthday dinner as she is going to a property awards dinner. She is self employed and might be up for an award. (one she self nominated for). I feel gutted she won’t be there, it’s a big Birthday and I would have thought she would prioritise me. For her 50th, I organised and paid for a private chef in her home for 27 of her friends. Not that I expected anything like that, but I least thought she would come to mine. Added to this, at no point has she acknowledged how I might be feeling, she just said what a difficult decision it is for her!
AIBU to be pissed off?

YABVU

Well I would definitely prioritise an old friends 50th over some scammy property marketing awards and I am a small business owner too.

Usually these tedious events are held on Thursdays presumably so as not to interfere with peoples actual social lives.

Edited as I posted before seeing the update.

How much have you had contact with her since her birthday? Has everything seemed normal since then?

It does seem odd that she's just texted you, maybe she's embarrassed or scared of your reaction because she knows she's letting you down.

Yes we see each other often, our kids grew up together. My husband tells me it’s just more of the same, that she always put herself first and I need to reframe the friendship. I know he is right, it’s just hard.

You don’t give to receive firstly!!
Its a work thing that could be that she is not only getting an award (wether she entered herself or not is irrelevant) but could be a big opportunity for her to network and get more business.
go for a meal with her a different night? Do something with her to celebrate your birthday just you two.

it sounds like a child has written this oh my friend isn’t coming to my party I’m not going to be friends anymore- why aren’t I the most important person to her. You’re acting more like it’s a 5th birthday not 50th

Not all of them, to be fair. I've judged a handful where they're free to enter, you self nominate but still have to get through rounds of judging and voting to win.

Those of you who are being snide about the awards, do you have any idea how hard it is to be self-employed at the moment? If she is up for an award she needs to be there to receive it, otherwise any recognition she would get - which is the whole point of it - is lost. It doesn't sound like she's saying it's the highlight of her life, just something she needs to attend to promote how she makes her living.

As you're feeling let down that she can't be there, could you make your celebration lunch not dinner, or have a special get-together for breakfast on your birthday? If she's not communicated well then that's a different issue...but not everyone puts the same store by birthdays, even big ones, and even if you did something amazing for hers. Your friendship is worth more than this one day by the sound of it, don't let an unfortunate clash of dates spoil the relationship between you.