Expected to start teams meetings?

[surrpundedby]

I’ve started a new job and my diary for now is very empty with few meetings and there’s quite a lot of training material that I have to go through.

My manager is always in back to back meetings and he’s put two 30 minute catchups in with me for the first month. From experience meetings tend to overrun so I’ve waited for him to be ready for our call and then I’ll hop on as I’m just reading - or he might need a loo break or get a drink.

Today it got to 5 past our meeting and he messaged me to say “are you joining”. So I started the call and he said that I am expected to always start the meetings.

Obviously once I’m more busy I won’t even give it a second thought as to who starts a meeting, but this seems such a weird rule to me.

That's my feeling. He might be rude, he might be wanting to exert his power, etc, etc. But he's the OP's manager and the OP is presumably still on probation, sitting there with, by her own admission, a fairly empty diary. I'd suck it up.

Then why is her boss making a big deal out of it?

The oldest millennials are now 43 years old (born in 1981) and the youngest are 28, so on average, millenials will be in their mid-30s.

Do you seriously think that a cohort who have been in the workplace for at least a decade routinely behave like this at work?

Or are you just using the word 'millennial' as an insult?

Fingers crossed he sacks me soon ☺️☺️

Yep, I don't think this is outdated at all. Normal for my workplace too.

Your tone is really nasty. You’ve started a new job, and already you’re using reading training materials as an excuse for being late for a meeting with your manager. I think you need to look at yourself first before flying off the handle at someone.

The normal etiquette is to arrive to a meeting on time. You don’t assume someone will be late - that in itself is rude. It’s not like you’ve been there long enough to make that assumption anyway.

What your manager is trying to say is that it’s not his responsibility to make sure the meeting starts on time - but it is yours.

and yes normal to be a little late but honestly, with my manager? Never. And hardly ever anyway. It’s bad form.

you sound like you have an attitude problem.

Probably will - good luck!

Couldn't eat a whole one though.

This all sounds most strange.. honestly just join on time and carry on doing other things if the meeting is late starting. Easy - it doesnt need to be this difficult and if I am honest that you sound very picky about a senior member of staff. That never goes well.

Exactly this.

Ha ha at this being a power move. A reasonable work request is not a power move.
If he was expecting you to go out for his lunch or clean his shoes you might have a point

This.

You start it at the allotted time.

I'm about as far from hierarchical and status-driven as you can get. I really couldn't care less about that shit, and I couldn't care less who starts a teams meeting either. But you sound like you have an unhealthy preoccupation with the idea of authority, and that is causing you to view this situation through quite a fucked up lens.

The simple fact in this situation is that your manager is clearly much busier than you are - he is in and out of back to back meetings etc while you are just reading through training materials at your desk. It is therefore to be expected that the manager may be late from time to time, because he is so busy but there is no reason for you to be late because you're just sat reading at your desk. If you can't see how rude it is, then perhaps your understanding of what amounts to common courtesy needs a bit of a refresher.

This is not about some power play. It is just a basic expectation that people should try to be on time for meetings unless there are good reasons for why they might end up running late.

Because he is having his time wasted by the OP.

He dials in as soon as he can (which may be slightly late, but the reason is because his last call overran), while the person he is meeting with doesn't bother - despite the fact that she doesn't have any good reason for dialling in late.

Mu diary is only fairly empty as they put you through so much training. Most is sadly irrelevant to my job, but I (and any other new starters) have to do it.

You don’t understand the OP.

Well, thank Godless you're here now to whip 'em all into shape, OP.

Come back with an update at the end of the your probation period, if not before.

Things haven't changed that much, someone has to be in charge or everyone just pulls in different directions. And if you are junior in a business your opinion doesn't carry as much weight as the manager, however much you think you know better.

1. some people are perpetually late (my boss for one)
2. some people deliberately like to be late for meetings. They see it as a sign of seniority. It is an actual power play to demonstrate their importance to the room. This is a known and documented tactic.

If in a junior role, just do as they say and join the call at the allotted time. Don't start this kind of friction with your manager over "who starts the call". You won't last in the role if you do.

Again missing the point.

That really wasn't the main thrust of my post.

Of course he can join late because he's busy, but because he thinks he should be the last to join on principle? That's not how real leaders work.

He was probably actually busy and waiting for the little beep to tell him he needed to go to the next meeting? Unlike you who was genuinely sitting around like a weirdo

Covid was brilliant in my workplace. Prior to us all working remotely the done thing would be to wait for the meeting time and then go and make a coffee then saunter into the meeting room 5 minutes late and it was so annoying for those that saw the meeting time as the start of the meeting

Now it's unacceptable for meetings to start later the 2 minutes late, 3 minutes usually triggers a calendar check for something potentially more important overrunning and a message to see you are joining. This is now the same now we are back in the office part time. If you are chairing the meeting generally you will start the meeting 2-3 minutes early if your diary permits. I usually open up the meeting a few minutes early to see who's joined the call already. So that pleasantries can be made and the meeting starts on time.

If I'm meeting with someone whose time and help I need I always sign in a minute or two early but if someone is needing my help I only sign in early if they are there.

This