Expected to start teams meetings?

[surrpundedby]

I’ve started a new job and my diary for now is very empty with few meetings and there’s quite a lot of training material that I have to go through.

My manager is always in back to back meetings and he’s put two 30 minute catchups in with me for the first month. From experience meetings tend to overrun so I’ve waited for him to be ready for our call and then I’ll hop on as I’m just reading - or he might need a loo break or get a drink.

Today it got to 5 past our meeting and he messaged me to say “are you joining”. So I started the call and he said that I am expected to always start the meetings.

Obviously once I’m more busy I won’t even give it a second thought as to who starts a meeting, but this seems such a weird rule to me.

It’s more efficient in terms of overall waste of company time and money for you to be waiting for him to join, than for him to be waiting for you. He doesn’t have time to wait, and you do. That’s why he wants you to start the meetings on time, even if he can’t join immediately.

His time is more valuable than yours, and you’ve just got to accept that.

I join or start the meeting at the right time. If no one turns up withiin 5 mins, I message and tell them to call me back when they’re free.
If he’s in back to back meetings he was maybe waiting for the notification that you joined to leave his other meeting.

The manager didn't actually give that instruction, though. He just told OP to go ahead and start their scheduled 1-1 meeting instead of waiting for him to do it.

If one of my brand new direct reports was 5 minutes late to a meeting with me during their training when they didn't have any time-sensitive tasks or meetings on their schedule it would catch my attention and make me wonder if they're likely to be punctual to meetings once they're actually busy. And if they revealed that they'd been sitting there twiddling their thumbs instead of taking the initiative to hit the button I'd think "Are they someone who needs to be micromanaged? Do they not know how to start a meeting on teams? Or do they just think the done thing is to wait on the senior person to start the meeting?" Telling OP to go ahead and start the meeting as scheduled instead of waiting for him to do it is a reasonable step for a manager in this position.

Is it me, or does this person just seem like a drama addict? How exhausting to be around. I hope they don’t pass their probation.

I apologised and said the reason for why I didn’t start it, as he had a meeting before (more succinctly than that) and he said no YOU always start the meetings.

I’d imagine it’s because he doesn’t like your attitude. It’s crazy you turned up late to your second meeting with your boss. I’d think he’s probably asking with a view of seeing whether you should pass your probation or not.

100%.

I would also worry that I had to teach them basic etiquette.

unless OP you are 14 and on work experience?

in which case I really think you need to rethink how you view this ‘power struggle’ between you and your horrible boss

This! Also that the op says they are ‘always’ running over. Is this only their second meeting?!

In the OP, it said: "he said that I am expected to always start the meetings."

This. He’s your boss, just do as he’s asking you too. you are making a mountain out of a molehill.

Jesus Christ I’m glad I don’t work in an office anymore.

You join the meeting at the start time. Simple. What other people do is their business.

Nigel will soon learn 😅

I don't think they have missed the point. Your boss has obviously noticed you don't start meetings and has tried to gently nudge you that you should start them regardless of whether you think he's ready or not. It's honestly not worth overthinking, start it, mute it and get on with your reading.

I would say you are both being unreasonable here.

You for not joining meeting on time, I would say just start the meeting on time and mute/camera off and carry on your training while you wait.

He is being unreasonable for demanding you start all meetings, that's a strange request, surely just both aim to join on time and it doesn't matter who's first. If someone is late they can send a message while the other one waits.

I don't think this is about him being busier than you or him being your manager. I don't even think he's implying he is sat waiting for you to 'start' the meeting before he will join.

This is just basic online meeting etiquette, you join a teams call when it starts.

Mutual respect of joining on-time or if he's running late he should drop you a note or apologise when he joins. Likewise if you are late joining you'd drop him a note or apologise.

Don't make this a bigger than it is.

I'll admit I haven't read the full thread and am not very competent at Teams. Only used it as a teacher. But are you saying you were just getting on with your work for a bit because you guessed your boss might need a break? What time were you planning to join? He clearly did join and was puzzled about why you weren't there.

I don't know, it sounds like OP has been late to the meetings before by waiting every time, assuming he would start them.

So maybe he's just annoyed that she's got no reason to be late but keeps being late anyway.

100% exhausting and weirdly aggressive too. Glad I’m not the manager!

I have one every Tuesday at 10am. I usually log in at 9:50am with speaker and camera switched off and carry on doing work. Once the host arrives I put the camera and microphone on and stop working

I don't understand why you are making this such a big thing.

If you are available then you just join the meeting at the time the meeting is supposed to start.

No drama necessary.

He said she should start these scheduled manager-new report meetings between the two of them.

There might be some very convenient drip feed coming, but he did not say anything about her being junior or the more junior employee having to start all meetings, or that OP needs to start all teams meetings they are part of.

This is a manager laying out a simple pattern for this particular scenario - when we're scheduled to have a 1-1, go ahead and hit start the at the scheduled time. That alerts him she's ready and waiting, and he'll join as soon as he's able. It's the 2024 version of when I was a new associate and the expectation was that I would go knock on my manager's door at the scheduled time, not wait for him to come locate me, or both of us sitting at our desks waiting on the other.

@surrpundedby did he explicitly say ‘as you are more junior to me’ or was that your interpretation?

If the meeting starts at 2pm, then you arrive at 2pm or a couple of minutes beforehand.
But you don't knock on the door if your manager is already in there talking to a client and you're just there for a 1:1. Or if you're sitting near your manager at your desks and you can see they're in a call, you don't go and stand by their desk to remind them you have a 1:1 scheduled, you wait till they finish then say 'are you ready for our 1:1 now or do you want to take a moment?'

If I click into the meeting it pops a message box up on their screen, and usually they feel obliged to then go and type something in teams to let me know they're held up. If I feel I need to let them know I'm waiting at all what I would tend to do is message them in teams myself to say 'looks like you're in a call, let me know when you're free for our 1:1' so they don't have to reply.

Anyway, that seems to work where I work, but as OP's manager has expressed a preference I would suggest shrug and do it the way they prefer. Maybe they're not good at winding up meetings and want the prompt. Who knows, OP will find out when she gets to know them better.

You sound like a petulant child OP. If your boss requests you are at a meeting at a certain time- then you attend at that time. Why is that a complex system for you to grasp? Many others before you have managed to understand this without pouting and proclaiming it to be a “power play”. It’s literally the hierarchy of your current employer. It’s not a play- they just literally have more power than you.

I was just thinking the exact same thing. And thanking my lucky stars i don't work there too

If he's the boss, I guess he gets to set the rules, which can include that you be the one to start all meetings. He obviously should have communicated that to you from the outset.