Expected to start teams meetings?

[surrpundedby]

I’ve started a new job and my diary for now is very empty with few meetings and there’s quite a lot of training material that I have to go through.

My manager is always in back to back meetings and he’s put two 30 minute catchups in with me for the first month. From experience meetings tend to overrun so I’ve waited for him to be ready for our call and then I’ll hop on as I’m just reading - or he might need a loo break or get a drink.

Today it got to 5 past our meeting and he messaged me to say “are you joining”. So I started the call and he said that I am expected to always start the meetings.

Obviously once I’m more busy I won’t even give it a second thought as to who starts a meeting, but this seems such a weird rule to me.

Your attitude stinks.

I expect if you carry on as you are, you won't need to worry about who starts the meetings anymore.

Did you read the suggestions that he might be in another meeting which he will wind up when he sees you're ready?

Why assume he's on a power trip?

Ahhh the old Mumsnet trope of ignoring what else was said and focusing on one part.
You don't like it so speak to him. Or suck it up and do as you've been asked.

That's the choices you realistically have. You've made it clear on here you're not happy, you think anyone who calls a superior "boss" is outdated. You don't seem to want to take advice. So again why put it on here? Lots have people have given you different perspectives but you say he demanded so that's that.
As you say we don't know you or you us so people can only offer advice based on your comments and how that comes across. Hopefully you can find a solution that you're happy with and works for you and your direct line (not sure what he is in your workplace)

I’m sure this has been said a million times already, but if you’re sitting there doing nothing reading training materials, then it’s not at all unreasonable for your boss to expect you to start all the meetings! You’ve said yourself that he’s got back-to-back meetings, so you starting the meeting (and generating the “meeting started” dialogue box) is HIS prompt to say “gotta go, due in another meeting”… It really is that simple!

To be fair, is this is all you’ve got to worry about at work, I’m very envious of your job!

I think he's probably irritated that you haven't been ready for him at previous meetings despite doing self directed work at the moment. He doesn't see it as you giving him the space to finish off whatever he was doing and being ready to drop in as soon as he says he's ready for you, he sees it as you thinking your time is more important than his and that you think he should be prompting you. Whereas he thinks his time as more important and that you should have everything ready so he can drop in when he's ready.

I suspect (based on bosses I've had) he's a bit disorganized, runs everything up to the wire, gets distracted easily and relies on prompts like you starting the meeting to move him on from one task to the other. But he frames that in his head as him being super busy and important.

It's kind of irrelevant though, as I'm sure you've realised, he's your boss and you just need to suck it up.

Yeah he's not going to end a meeting in the hopes you remember to turn up

He's your manager and if he's asking you to start meetings first then that's what you should do. Like others have said you can put yourself on mute and wait for him to join. You can still study your training materials until he joins. If he's in back to back meetings and one over runs he'll be waiting to see if you join the meeting before leaving one earlier for no reason

I’m often in back to back meetings. If I’m a few mins late, and no one has joined the last meeting I might message to check it’s still on, as if you’re not there 3 minutes into the call then I would expect you’re not joining at all.

Although my biggest bug bear is someone being late without at least sending a quick message to let the other person know, it’s just disrespectful - so if I was your manager I would’ve already messaged to say I was running late.

He's the boss. He makes the policy decisions. Now you know what's expected you can do it.

In my work if it's a one on one meeting with a manager I'd wait for them to start it because they're often quite busy and overrun. If it's a team meeting we all just join at the start time.

OP are you 15 and doing work experience? 😂

Some people work part-time so they absolutely can be on MN at 3pm!

The convention that the more junior person joins the meeting is weird. I get a notification to tell me the meeting is starting, so I join. Sometimes someone else gets there first, so I join via that notification, or sometimes I am not quite ready and join 30 seconds later or whatever.

If I am going to be late, I put a message in the chat.

That seems to cover all eventualities.

If someone is really late, I just leave the meeting on until they can join me.

If be pretty pissed off if one of the juniors in my team waited for me to start the meeting before joining.

Join at the allotted time and wait. I do it with my bosses too

To me there seems to be an 'acceptable window of lateness' of around 1-2 minutes max after which the latecomer needs to apologise and explain how long they will be. I sometimes suggest the other person dials off and I will message when I'm about to dial in. It usually because I'm back to back and need a loo break and I think I can sort it in a couple minutes or I'm in a call with a client and I'm hoping they will wrap up soon.

If I know I will overrun I will usually suggest we push the start time 10 minutes beforehand.

If I had dialled in and found junior person not online after 2 or 3 minutes I'd be messaging and asking 'Is this happening'? I'd assume they were almost reluctant to join or waiting to see if it was worth their while joining.

Either way it's clearly the norm at new workplace so just do it!! dialling in and sitting waiting still means you can get on with other stuff or this highly important training and reading.

This. End of!

The convention that the more junior person joins the meeting is weird.

Based off what OP has quoted from her manager, he never actually said the most junior person starts all meetings. That blanket rule seems to have been invented on the OP's side. He just told her to go ahead and open the teams meeting on time for their 1-1s instead of waiting for him to do it.

With your attitude you won’t get far. Good luck in the real world

and sometimes standing up to authority and not following the crowd is a good thing and worth it.
but 'please can you join meetings on time,' is hardly an unreasonable expectation.

Tell you what OP, why not email him.

"Dear Nigel, I just want to go on record with my disappointment regarding our conversation today when you told me I should open teams meetings. As I'm sure you're aware, I am a very valuable member of your team, and my time is precious. For this reason it is my preference, and in the interests of the company that I complete my training packs and you start the meetings. To me this is an obvious best use of my time. I found it quite unacceptable that you pulled rank to issue me with an instruction I disagree with, and would appreciate if there were no further incidences if this. In the event there is I will have no choice but to submit a formal grievance"

That'll show him OP.

Yes, with a shift of perspective, this would be seen as empowering and collaborative. Take the initiative, take the lead, co-facilitate our joint meetings.

It is a slightly odd power play by the manager - who gives the instruction that OP must always start Teams meetings.

But on the other hand, I'm not sure, as a new starter, why you wouldn't make sure you were joining the meeting a minute or two early - which probably result in you starting the meeting and this issue not even coming up as a topic of conversation/instruction.

Maybe it was a test?

OP I get what you’re trying to say.

There is no reason why he’s making up this stupid rule about you starting meetings. Some people are odd and don’t like to join unless there are people already on the call.

For the sake of peace just join at the allotted time and do some work until he joins. You’re still new to the team, once you’ve been there longer I bet you’ll find others equally frustrated by him and his weird behaviour!

He's not being weird he's just wondering where on earth she was when she wasn't at the meeting!

You are focusing on the wrong thing.

your boss asked to see you at 3pm. He joined the meeting 5 minutes late and you weren’t there. You didn’t have any competing meetings to explain why you were late.

if I was your boss I would be concerned you aren’t taking things very seriously.

you join the meeting at the start tike unless you have a good reason.

sometimes in my work the host has to open the meeting. If the host is late everyone else is stuck in a waiting room.

you come across as quite difficult.

You said he has back to back meetings - if that’s a regular thing for him then it’s not a power move it’s just the best way for him to organise his time.

If he has all his direct reports be responsible for starting the meetings on time then he is able to take that minor admin issue off his plate and move smoothly from meeting to meeting without wasting any minutes.

Imagine it like a real building with 6 meeting rooms - manager gets the junior staff member to go in, turn the lights on, sit down and wait for meeting to start. Then manager can just run in - sit down have meeting and then straight onto the next one - run in sit down have the meeting and then straight into the next one.

He’s found a system which works for him and his work load. He doesn’t have to think about being the one to start the meeting and worrying if the other person is ready - he can keep doing his previous meeting or work until he sees that the next one is up and running and can move from task to task without wasting anytime.

In any job - but particularly a new one - the best play is to be someone who makes your manager’s job easier not harder.