To think it's just manners to tell someone if you've broken something in their house?

[WillowtreeHouse]

MIL and her friends asked to stay in our house while we were on holiday. No issue with that at all, we live by the sea and people often stay here when we're away. We've been home a week and gradually realised that two mugs, about three glasses, burn on the rug from the fire and a mug ring on bedside table.

Now to be very clear, I really don't care about any of that. I'm dyspraxic and the clumsiest person I know, so done of my everyday crockery or glassware is particularly expensive and I'm the person most likely to break something. I also expect stuff like this to happen when you let people stay at your house, but I'm a bit miffed that she didn't mention it. Why would you not just say 'oh by the way we had a couple of breakages' to which I would have said no problem, thanks for telling me?

It's pissed me off (not the breakages) and of course I won't say anything, but I think I'm more annoyed because she used to practically wrap the DCs in cling film and they were scared to sit and eat at her house. 😂

So YANBU - yes you should mention to someone if you break something in their home.

YABU - Nope, keep your gob shut and say nowt.

I wouldn’t say anything but I wouldn’t let them stay again.

Very poor form.

I would mention it to your MiL, otherwise it’ll keep happening. It’s one thing breaking a mug etc, but damaging furniture, burn marks - it’s not on and completely disrespectful. Imagine if they were in an air bnb or hotel they would’ve been a lot more considerate!

I think that's disgraceful behaviour and the least they could have done is offered to pay for the broken and burnt items. I'd be furious someone had left cup rings as well.

2 mugs & 3 glasses? 🤔 it doesn’t sound very likely to me that they’d all break accidentally to be honest.

Very poor form though - could you give MIL the benefit of the doubt that she didn’t know about all of them? Have you met her friends?

I’d definitely let her know, and I’d say no the next time she asks to stay with friends.

The mug ring is on oak, there's no chance of it coming out either.

I don't think I'm over precious or anything, I just think it's really bad manners I guess.

Yes, I know her friend quite well, she's lovely.

The mugs wouldn't annoy me much, but I'd definitely say how unhappy I am about the burn and water ring!

I'd ask when they're replacing the rug.

Try rubbing a walnut on the water mark.

I run and airbnb and it’s disappointing when people don’t tell me about breakages (and I’ve always let it slide if they’d said, but it gives me an opportunity to address it before the next guest).

Even worse from family - YANBU.

First reply nails it!

I would mention the burn ring and the burn on the carpet...that's beyond just breaking a mug (2 mugs AND 3 glasses!) and very disrespectful.

This would all irritate me - yes, stuff happens, damage occurs... I can handle that just fine.

But looking for a particular mug or glass and not finding it and not knowing that this is because its actually gone...that drives me absolutely fucking crackers.

Just bloody admit it and apologise, surely we're all past the age of hiding that we broke/damaged something after about 6!

How long were they there for?, I don’t think I’ve broken 2 mugs and 3 glasses in total, ever.

That's how I feel. My everyday mugs and glasses are from bloody Sainsbury's so hardly the end of the world, it's just the fact that she didn't tell me that's pissed me off.

Hotel @WillowtreeHouse ‘s doors are closed. I wouldn’t let her stay again, even on her own.
I was on holiday away (I think Cuba?) I wasn’t using the internet much but had cctv. Thought I’d have a look and much to my horror mil decided to rock up when we were away, without asking and used it as a hotel. I was even more furious as she’d got the key from fil’s house (they’re divorced, can’t think why?).
I think you need to broach the subject or get your dh to do it, it’s his mum.

Yeah I do think it’s incredibly rude and I’d personally rather replace them myself or tell the home owner and offer to pay. I had a friend stay once and she cracked my blender whilst using it, and broke my french press, but chose not to tell me then when I asked her about it she said she didn’t remember if she’d done it 🙃 safe to say, I didn’t let her round again.

Its horrendously rude!! Was it a big piss up?
Is there a chance they had a gathering?
Sounds more like a teen party with all that damage!

Will you let them stay again? If you will feel reluctant then you need to tell them. We had a cleaner who' d break and damage things accidentally and never said. It is one of the reasons we let her go.

I was just going to type "did they have a piss up by any chance?" 😂
I'd be annoyed at them not telling me too OP, it's really disrespectful.

Yes, they should have told you about the breakages, although I can understand the temptation not to. Ring mark - disappointing on good wood, but surely it can be removed by stripping and re-varnishing or re-waxing? I don't use coasters at home, but I always would in someone else's home, and they should have done too. Burn mark I'd be less concerned about - isn't that what hearth rugs are for? To stop the stray cinder damaging the floor underneath? Though if it were more than 0.5 cm across (ie they hadn't noticed it), I would be worried about their capacity to avoid setting my house on fire.

No. If it were a teen party, she'll be finding lager cans in odd places for the next 6 weeks.

Try a hair dryer on it, keep it moving about.You'll need to be patient, but I've had great success on a varnished coffee table in the past. Google it.

As they are older people is there a chance they’ve not noticed the damage ? DH who is 60 might miss things like that without his glasses

Burn marks in carpets or marks on tables that can't be cleaned off are not good. I think I'd be more inclined to try and pay for those things. The mugs or cups I'd probably try and replace if I had time. It seems like that's a lot of damage tbh? I'm really clumsy and dyspraxic but wouldn't do that much in someone else's house?

Totally off the point but Duralex glassware is brilliant if you’re clumsy like me. I’ve knocked it against granite worktops, dropped it on tiled floors and generally banged it about. It’s not unbreakable but it lasts longer than anything else around me.

I’m surprised that they were so careless. I would expect these sort of behavior from a teen due to being inexperienced about things but grown up women??? And this amount of broken mugs clearly indicates that something happened. I don’t mean they were playing mug football but no way it was unnoticeable.
I would go with the first reply if it’s feasible if not I would get DH mention it.
Tbh I probably would mention it myself ( my DH is too soft) more along the lines : What on earth you were doing?? And then see how she responds.